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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

RANT RANT RANT!!! To be really annoyed with my mum for changing to winter curtains yesterday, when I told her I would help her TODAY?

61 replies

QuintessentialShadow · 22/10/2008 11:44

I see red.
Yesterday I had a really tight schedule, dropping the kids off to school, bring a letter to the post office for recorded delivery to the UK, get her groceries, appointment with the company who makes my kitchen, drop groceries home, pick up dh and go to and appointment to the police station to finalize his work permit and permission to stay, go to the language school to enrol him on his Norwegian course, appoinment in town to see a woman I know who works in a shop such as Dixons and had promised to get me a good deal on all the white and brown goods, come home and do an hour or so of work before going to school for parents evening.

She announces: TOday I will take down the summer curtains of all the windows in the living room, shake the dust out, fold, carry to the loft and hang up the winter curtains.

I say: "Mum, leave it til tomorrow please and I will help you. I have a free day tomorrow, but today is jampacked"

She says "I will see...."

She changes the curtains.
I come home around 5pm with the kids, AND she has gone and cooked our tea. She knew what I was making, as I had bought our tea at the same time as I bougth what she was having with my father.
Of course it is nice of her. BUT, I dont want her to do all this.

Today, she is in bed. Feeling exhausted, and unwell. Typical.

Why will she not listen? Why could she not wait with the bloody curtains till today?

I am now going out to pick blackcurrants, and wash the living room windows. They are on the first floor. I better go do it before she gets the idea it needs doing.
ARGH!

OP posts:
cuddlesrus · 22/10/2008 11:45

jeesus

chill out

morningpaper · 22/10/2008 11:46
spongebrainbigpants · 22/10/2008 11:47

Winter and summer curtains?!!!!!

I'm clearly not the domestic goddess I thought I was - we have the same curtains that stay up at the windows all year . . .

What a slummy mummy I am!

chocolateteapot · 22/10/2008 11:49

She's still trying to be a bit independent I think. It's one thing knowing that you probably shouldn't do things and another doing them. And I guess she doesn't want to burden you with everything.

Very hard dealing with older parents I have been finding.

Tee2072 · 22/10/2008 11:49

YANBU, but I would think she is just trying to exert her independence. And, honestly, she is a grown up, if she wants to do it and then pays for it the next day? That's her problem!

KerryMumchingOnEyeballs · 22/10/2008 11:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

QuintessentialShadow · 22/10/2008 11:50

Not only winter and summer curtains. Some rooms also have Christmas curtains, and Easter curtains....

It is of course helping with the festive spirit....

You got to love the easter ones, yellow and green with little chicks on.

OP posts:
ComeOVeneer · 22/10/2008 11:52

Qs is this a wind up? OK I could cope with winter/summer curtains but Easter/Christmas (are you serious)?

MmeTussaudsChmberOfChocHobnobs · 22/10/2008 11:53

Sorry, but I got stuck at the mention of winter and summer curtains and could not concentrate on the rest of your rant.

She sounds a bit like my mum, we had to lock her in the house when she had shingles a few years back as she would not take it easy.

I love the idea of Easter curtains, is this a Norwegian phenomenon or just your Mum?

ComeOVeneer · 22/10/2008 11:53

My first thought when I saw this thread was that Cod was back. Isn't she the one with summer and winter cushion covers?

bamboostalks · 22/10/2008 11:55

You and your mum sound very similar.

BloodshotEyeballsintheScarySky · 22/10/2008 11:57

My mother does this sort of thing. She'll get up on a ladder to dust curtain poles. OK, she's not ancient (early 60's). But she wears those stupid little mules with heels (not invite the milkman in types!) and climbs the ladder in them. I have lost count of the number of times I have told her not to do it as I'm scared she'll fall off. So what does she do? Yep, fall off. One banjaxed shoulder and arm. Mothers.

trefusis · 22/10/2008 11:58

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Message withdrawn

grumblingirl · 22/10/2008 12:01

Ah. YABABU. P'raps she just absolutely hates your summer curtains and has been itching to wack the winter ones up. I'd LOVE someone to change my curtains for me, never mind having seasonal ones. However I do feel for you if you actually have to live with your mother. Tis never a good thing to have two alpha females in the same house.

QuintessentialShadow · 22/10/2008 12:36

CoV, not a wind up. I assure you. christmas collection You get the same for Easter.

Yabbabu? what is that?
Maybe that is what I am. I guess we are two alpha females....

I sympathise trefusis. Mine rarely go out, and luckily she has her own car. But at 74 she is a little reluctant.

But, it is finding the balance between not telling her what to do, and when to insist she let me help. Now, if either of them mutter something that needs doing, me and dh does it THIS INSTANT, not because they demand it, but if we dont, mum goes and does it. Like taking the nets of the redcurrant bushes. DH had said he would do it after work, and 5 pm on the dot my mum was out in the garden taking them off, and 5 minutes later he came down, and it was all done.

They dont want to burden us, but I sometimes feel like I am a burden to them.

The house will be done by Christmas, so we can move. (pic of the build on profile)

OP posts:
ComeOVeneer · 22/10/2008 12:46

Can't see profile.

OhYouBadBadKitten · 22/10/2008 12:49

I think the main problem is that you are just really really desperate to get into your new house and so everything seems like a huge deal.

I have a little empathy for your Mum, I drive dh a bit nuts by refusing to give into my arthritis when it flares. I'll attempt things that I shouldnt, things that he says he will do when he has time because I hate being restricted. It makes me feel defeated. Besides when I'm sat on my bum things seem like such a good idea, its only part way through tasks that I realise for the umpty-umpth time that actually he was right.

jura · 22/10/2008 12:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

grumblingirl · 22/10/2008 12:56

YABABU - sorry I like it cos it reminds me of the flintstones. Means you are being a bit unreasonable in grumblin world. Sigh. Very bored at work. Loving the seasonal curtains theme though!

QuintessentialShadows · 22/10/2008 12:59

Try now. Pics are under my plural profile....

kando · 22/10/2008 13:00

My granny is the same QS - winter curtains are thicker/heavier material so keep the heat in more apparently. Luckily for her my auntie or my mum does it for her (but then, she is 96!) But I am LOVING some of the stuff on your link QS - really pretty stuff!

QuintessentialShadows · 22/10/2008 13:00

Oh, I just uploaded, but it isnt there. Only one old one from when we were doing conservatory...

QuintessentialShadows · 22/10/2008 13:01

oh, believe me, I have placed an order for Christmas Curtains.....

PuppyMonkey · 22/10/2008 13:04

I have a sneaking admiration for people who do summer and winter curtains.

hidetheribbons · 22/10/2008 14:01

I remember my gran used to have summer and winter curtains, but that was in the 70s. I didn't realise people still did it! I think the idea was to keep the heat in and save fuel. Maybe with rising fuel bills it's a good idea? Does she change them for cosmetic reasons or to save fuel?