RANT RANT RANT!!! To be really annoyed with my mum for changing to winter curtains yesterday, when I told her I would help her TODAY?

[QuintessentialShadow]

I see red.
Yesterday I had a really tight schedule, dropping the kids off to school, bring a letter to the post office for recorded delivery to the UK, get her groceries, appointment with the company who makes my kitchen, drop groceries home, pick up dh and go to and appointment to the police station to finalize his work permit and permission to stay, go to the language school to enrol him on his Norwegian course, appoinment in town to see a woman I know who works in a shop such as Dixons and had promised to get me a good deal on all the white and brown goods, come home and do an hour or so of work before going to school for parents evening.

She announces: TOday I will take down the summer curtains of all the windows in the living room, shake the dust out, fold, carry to the loft and hang up the winter curtains.

I say: "Mum, leave it til tomorrow please and I will help you. I have a free day tomorrow, but today is jampacked"

She says "I will see...."

She changes the curtains.
I come home around 5pm with the kids, AND she has gone and cooked our tea. She knew what I was making, as I had bought our tea at the same time as I bougth what she was having with my father.
Of course it is nice of her. BUT, I dont want her to do all this.

Today, she is in bed. Feeling exhausted, and unwell. Typical.

Why will she not listen? Why could she not wait with the bloody curtains till today?

I am now going out to pick blackcurrants, and wash the living room windows. They are on the first floor. I better go do it before she gets the idea it needs doing.
ARGH!

To think one day we will do the same to our children. Yes you are right to be frustrated, we do love them even so.

Oh and I have winter/summer curtains have done for a few years simply to help keep the energy bills down. I also have curtains at the front door to keep the heat in.

My mother had summer and winter curtains...and the festive holiday curtains.
I think it's sweet that your mother still tries to do these things. It isn't so sweet that she makes herself ill but there isn't anything you can do about that other than ask her if there is anything you can do to "finish up" or maybe get her a cup of tea and have a chat.
Maybe she just wants to have some free time with you and not be a burden...you do DO a lot for her but have your own family to attend to also.
Enjoy your mother while she is here. Express your praise at how nice the change of curtains is, but also your concern that she did too much and is now feeling poorly.
Sometimes a kind word heals more than scorn.

Ah QS- your NorwEnglish is getting even better!
Yes- my MIL is a little like this- climbing on kitchen roof to paint her window sills!!!
Waiting 2 hours to phone me when she was having a heart attack because she didn't want to disturb me at work and it might have 'gone away' , so waited until 5pm FFS!
I think they just don't want to admit they aren't quite as capable as previously.
Also doesn't help if they like to do things on a whim.

I would say because she your mum.

But that because my mum the same. SHe has been known to take a week off work because she is tired then decorate her house.

YANBU - or if you are, so I am I. My mum is exactly the same, and for me, the sadness is that it is about a lack of communication. I could talk to her all day and she won't hear a word I am saying, because she has decided that she needs to do A or B, and so she will do it.

Wehaveallbeenthere's words are very wise and grown up, and spot on. I'll save this thread for the next time my bloodpressure is shooting up and look at them again!

In a way it is good to hear that others are in the same boat. I had a very lonely little dinghy so far, now I picture a big viking ship, where we all row in unison with our experiences.

What happened next was even more unbelievable. I was discussing with my dad to clean the windows on the first floor, from the outside, they were clean on the inside. He said, wait with it til your mum gets up, she will show you were the equipment is kept. Ok.

I went to pick blackcurrants in the garden, then I headed into town to a meeting with the project manager for our build. I came back and find that my mum is up from bed, and SHE has gone out and done the blooming windows. Standing on the ground, washing 1st floor windows. 6 of them. Because like she said, "I did not want you to do them, with your fragile sinuses and all" RAAAAAAAAH!

Yes, I can see how my fragile sinuses should be problematic. She has high blood pressure, was knackered after hanging curtains, with sore arms and shoulders.

Luckily, I picked up tomorrows dinner, "Home made" lasagna from the delicatessen in town, made fresh today.

Ah QS, take a big bite of lasagna so you don't have to bite your tongue.

boggles @ winter curtains

life's too short to change your curtains every few montsh.

I have admiration for those who have curtains - 3 years in our house and no downstairs curtains at all!

Sorry I would reply at length but just too busy fetching my November curtains down from the attic.

don;t tell me - you brought down the july ones by mistake?

Oh ha ha ha.

If you live in a country with subzero degrees from october till april, you may see sense in thicker curtains in winter.

All you see through your window is utter darknes. All the time. People lighten up by using curtains. Colourful curtains in many designs, and changed often.
Much lighter curtains in spring. To let the light in. Finally.

I think it's very sweet, actually.

am full of admiration for seasonal curtains

i had previously thought myself the height of sophistication by maintaining a summer and winter wardrobe (this time of year i pack all summery clothes away, to be brought out next spring )but i am clearly falling short!

Have you seen that gorgeous bedspread on the third page? Now I could hibernate under that for the winter!

I'd love to see the Easter curtains too - is there a link there already or do we have to wait! My lounge curtains are burgundy flowers so look fairly christmassy, but I am loving the idea of letting spring indoors.

but not surprise at your mum cleaning the windows. You have just got to learn not to discuss stuff that you are going to do for them, haven't you? Either do it, then and there, or keep stum!

We have to wait till Easter. It is very seasonal. And I get lush interior design catalogues in my mailbox daily. They really want you to spend on your home! Probably because we spend so much time at home. Scandies are famous for homelife, and visiting eachothers homes. Your home should always be in a state to welcome the surprising guest. My parents have 2-4 such random guests weekly.

Yes, I have to learn to not say what I am doing before actually doing it. Very Good Point.

QS- do Norwegians have a concept of 'Huglit' (?sp) similar to the Danish?

I am unfamiliar with that concept, what is it? (Maybe it is just called differently)

shit. Is my English going downhill?

My aunt once founf my grandmother (aged 90ish) onher hands and knees with a dustpan and brush going round the living room, with all the furniture moved into the middle of the room. When my aunt asked what she was doing, my grandmother admitted that the hoover had broken a few months previously, so each week she moved all the furniture into the middle of the room, swept round the edges, the moved the furniture back and swept the middle She said it wasn't worht getting a new hoover at her age! My aunt only lived next door to her, so after that she brought her hoover round once a week and did it for her Old people can be very resistant to asking for help IMO if they want to be independant.

Sob. You are not the only one to have said that. Somebody referred to my Norwenglish....

Sobbety sob.