Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

that sil wants a quiet house before 8am when we visit with LOs?

32 replies

Arcadie · 21/10/2008 08:45

We're off to visit DH's big sister this weekend. She's a great believer in lie ins. She has 3 older kids ( teenaged and lovely). She phoned DH yesterday for a chat about logistics to say that she'll be in her own bedroom rather than letting us have it as previously (this is NOT a problem- we don't move rooms when people visit) because she doesn't want to be woken up by our DS (2 1/2) and DD ( 10 months). AIBU to want to stay home now?

OP posts:

Bubbaluv · 21/10/2008 08:47

Why would she want to be woken up by them?

littleducks · 21/10/2008 08:48

hmmm, what time do your kids get up? are they noisy?

does sound a bit rude, im assuming you do try and keep them quiet?

PavlovtheWitchesCat · 21/10/2008 08:49

I think that is fair enough, for her to want to stay in her own room so she is not disturbed early.

Its a bit unrealistic for her to think that staying in her own room will help much though, with children that age. She will wake up when they wake up, just won't have to get out of bed .

AnarchyAunt · 21/10/2008 08:49

Eh?

I suppose its her house so she can say/do what she likes. And I do hate being woken early.

But when friends/family come to stay I don't mind really if their DC wake me up - after all they are not mine so I can just ignore it really

Does she mean in the night maybe?

cikecaka · 21/10/2008 08:49

Sounds like it is going to be very stressful rather than an enjoyable break!

PavlovtheWitchesCat · 21/10/2008 08:50

YANBU though, if you are required to keep them quiet. That is just a bit unreasonable IMO, they are toddlers/babies. How are you meant to keep them quiet? Gag them? Take them out?

MinkyBorage · 21/10/2008 08:51

I think it's fair enough for you to be considerate and try to keep dc quiet, but it will be impossible to keep them silent. yabu not to go, but maybe your oh should explain this to her.
Is there anywhere they can go which will be quieter, e.g. could you go downstairs as soon as they wake up to watch tv or something?
think yabu not to go on this basis, but maybe sil has forgotten what it's like having small children

ghosty · 21/10/2008 08:53

She's not saying she wants you to keep them quiet, she is saying she wants to sleep in her own room so she is not woken up by them (presumably if she is on the Sofa your family will come down early etc etc and she will be woken up)
I think that's fair enough really.
Did she say she wants you to keep them quiet until 8am?

Tortington · 21/10/2008 08:54

yeah im witht he siter on this one - unless she has a mansion she will be able to hear the kids anyway = it just means that she doesn;t hav eto put up with them in a morning

some of us grow out of that stage -a dn its reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallly hard to be nice to small people in the v. early hours.

at least with your own you can be grumpy - with guests you have to smile at the time.

hecAteTheirBrains · 21/10/2008 08:54

Did she say you were to keep them quiet? What you've posted doesn't mention anything about her wanting you to keep them quiet, just about her arranging it so she can't hear them.

What you have posted sounds like someone who knows that the kids are going to make noise, and is trying to work it so she doesn't get woken by it - that does not seem unreasonable at all.

Bubbaluv · 21/10/2008 08:56

If I had a room that meant I couldn't hear early rising noisy guests then I'd choose to stay there too. There is no mention here of her asking for the children to be kept quiet. In fact, the arrangements suggest she is aware that won't be the case.
Sounds pretty normal to me!?

VictorianSqualorSquelchNSquirm · 21/10/2008 09:11

I don't see the problem. I used to have 'friends' of XP turn up at stupid o'clock when they'd been out on the lash and want to sleep on my sofa. The penalty for this was they would be woken up when my children wanted to go into the living room and watch TV, if I had friends/family staying over that I'd invited I'd keep the children out of their way until a decent hour. If I had no young children I'd expect(? possibly, appreciate, definitely) the same treatment.

Gobbledigook · 21/10/2008 09:13

I think it's reasonable for her to want to stay in her own room so she can stay in bed till she wants.

I think it's unreasonable, really, to expect total quiet until she is ready to get up.

I think you just have to accept that if you have guests with small children it's going to be noiser in your house than usual! It's only one weekend FGS!

Gobbledigook · 21/10/2008 09:14

And if I was getting the feeling that it was going to be stressful keeping them quiet because if you didn't she'd be cross, I wouldn't go.

TheMadHouse · 21/10/2008 09:14

I have to agree with your SIL on this. I have two littlies, but I am a nightmare if I do not get my sleep.

I am sure she was just giving him a reason as for not letting you have her bedroom, as she has previously

kitbit · 21/10/2008 09:23

If she's intending on lying in until midday I'd say that was unreasonable, but if she means that she just wants to make sure she's not up at the crack of dawn I think that's OK!

TheHedgeWitch · 21/10/2008 09:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

mazzystartled · 21/10/2008 09:37

yabu
you didn't want to go in the first place did you? just looking for an excuse.

Romy7 · 21/10/2008 09:43

speaking as someone who has taken a six month old out to push up and down at the road at 6am so i didn't disturb our hosts, i think you are getting a little over excited...
don't see any issue at all, really.
yabu.
if you don't want to go because she wants to sleep in her own bed and not get up with your kids, i'd say the problem wasn't hers...

zippitippitoes · 21/10/2008 09:47

sounds fair enough to me

Bubbaluv · 21/10/2008 10:05

Unless, of course, you were going there with the idea that it was to be a break for you and your SIL was going to be on kiddie duty?

purpleduck · 21/10/2008 10:18

She used to give you her bed, but this time isn't...and she doesn't want to be disturbed...?

If she is laying out different "groundrules", and you generally get along, then I would be worried that perhaps she is not well/ not feeling herself.

Do you have a good relationship? Can you talk to her and see if she is ok? Maybe something came up and she can't cope with a visit now...?

Just a thought.

LadyPenelope · 21/10/2008 10:20

Sounds totally reasonable. She's not saying to keep them quiet - just that if she's in her own room she'll have more quiet/privacy, which seems totally fine to me. And it's not too big a deal to keep kids occupied until 8am - assuming they don't wake at 5am! By the time you've had some breakfast for them and a cup of tea for you plus some CBeebies, she'll be up and about. (Remember a thread from a while ago where host didn't rise until lunchtime!)

hifi · 21/10/2008 10:22

surely it wont be too much trouble you trying to keep them quiet? take them downstairs as soon as they wake.

FattipuffsandThinnifers · 21/10/2008 10:28

YABU. Maybe she doesn't even normally get up till after 8am (esp in holidays) so saying 8am seems fair enough to me. And I wouldn't call it a lie-in exactly. You're a guest in her house so should respect that.

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread