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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be upset to get back from a weekend away and find that my friends forgot to feed my cat

65 replies

ShinyPinkShoes · 20/10/2008 20:04

I left Friday morning-just got back- they had planned to pop in Sat and Sun and it's obvious they didn't

The food and clean bowls I left are still on the side in the kitchen.

The flowers and thank you note I left are still in the living room.

I know that they are alright as spoke to their little girl on my way home about something.

Poor cat is not herself at all, looked very sad and fed up her water bowl was empty.

How do I approach this with them. They are usually so helpful and reliable but I don't know I could trust them to feed her for me again

OP posts:

alicet · 21/10/2008 14:55

By the way we just leave them loads of dry food and water if we are away 2-3 days now. They are a bit sorry for themselves when we get back but no harm done!

MorticiaAnnSpookington · 21/10/2008 14:56

poor cat - how can people forget ?! I am positively over zealous when asked to feed neighbours cat

Bride1 · 21/10/2008 15:06

My neighbour once forgot she was supposed to be minding my children for half an hour after school. They were 9 and 7. They came home on the school bus, as usual, but she wasn't there to meet them. So they just played in the playground across the road for the half an hour until I got home.

I never said anything--I think she was suffering from depression. But I was a leetle unhappy. Fortunately they're sensible children and although it was a winter afternoon it was sunny and bright.

gagamama · 21/10/2008 16:19

I have to admit I've forgotten to feed a neighbour's cat before now. Not for a whole weekend, but I've missed the occasional day here and there (they go away a lot). Surely if they're that hungry/thirsty they'll go and drink some puddles or something? They're cats, they're hunters, and they're more than capable of fending for themselves for a day or two.

Your friends are obviously mortified they forgot, just make light of it and make sure you pay someone to look after them next time if it matters to you that much!

VictorianSqualorSquelchNSquirm · 21/10/2008 16:24

Where did the cat shit?

cestlavie · 21/10/2008 16:40

Good grief people, they only forgot to feed the cat... these things do happen and they feel terrible about it. It's not like they popped in and sold it to the local kebab shop because they were bored. I've got two (very much loved) cats and one of my best mates forgot to feed them for a weekend. He was incredibly apologetic and the cats were fine and it hadn't even crossed my mind again until I saw this thread.

And yes, your cat will be absolutely fine. They can go for several days in the complete absence of any water (although not very happily admittedly) but they get fluids from wet and dry cat food as well as water. An absence of food and water for 24-48 hours may make them a bit miserable but certainly won't do any lasting damage.

VictorianSqualorSquelchNSquirm · 21/10/2008 16:56

I doubt they 'forgot' for a whole weekend. More like they remembered when it wasn't 'suitable' for them to go and do it and thought 'I'll do it later' then put it off again and again until it got to time for the OP to be back.

Suedonim · 22/10/2008 00:25

I agree, VS, that's probably exactly what happened.

handlemecarefully · 22/10/2008 00:27

Oh dear - this is piss poor!

handlemecarefully · 22/10/2008 00:28

Think you are utterly missing the point cestlavie - friends should be reliable and constant. Not really friends unless they are.

handlemecarefully · 22/10/2008 00:29

(I hate cats btw )

nooka · 22/10/2008 00:37

I think it is always best to do reciprocal cat sitting. If we go away for a day or two only we'd just leave plenty of dry food and water, as I don't see the need to bother someone else for that, but for four days you need someone to come in (esp with an indoor cat - we've only had cat flap cats). I do think it was very bad of them to forget, and you must be upset. Glad your cat is OK though. I don't think you should fall out forever, but I would certainly look for another sitter (I don't think that necessarily means you have to pay).

BouncingTurtleSkulls · 22/10/2008 07:57

I don't think you should lose your friendship over this.
But I wouldn't ask them to look after your cat again.

Poor thing, hope she's ok. If you've given her wet food, that'll probably rehydrate her anyway, so don't stress too much about her not drinking the water.

For short breaks away (no more than 2 nights) I use an automatic feeder, leave a big bowl of water in a cool, shady spot and and big bowl of dried food. Good job as a couple of times I forgot to turn the feeder on
You can even put cool blocks in the feeder to help keep the food fresh.
Anything longer, he goes into a local cattery where he gets spoiled rotten! Is always happy to see me though

upnorth · 23/10/2008 18:09

we went on holiday and our cat got stuck in the house by accident - we had arranged for a neighbour to feed it outside (and it had shelter in a very comfortable shed) but poor thing got stuck inside the house with no food or water and he was ok but that was an accident. I think at some point your friends must have remembered. I wouldn't know how to handke the situatuion to be honest. It's very bad of them and I'd probably be too upset to talk to them again.

Wigglesworth · 23/10/2008 18:26

Poor little kitty. I used to be a veterinary nurse, don't be too worried she is probably fine, just give her a few days to settle and give her extra attention and love.
As for your friend shame on her! Don't ask her again she obviously has so much on her plate it makes her forget to do something so important. Does she forget to feed her kids?

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