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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset to get back from a weekend away and find that my friends forgot to feed my cat

65 replies

ShinyPinkShoes · 20/10/2008 20:04

I left Friday morning-just got back- they had planned to pop in Sat and Sun and it's obvious they didn't

The food and clean bowls I left are still on the side in the kitchen.

The flowers and thank you note I left are still in the living room.

I know that they are alright as spoke to their little girl on my way home about something.

Poor cat is not herself at all, looked very sad and fed up her water bowl was empty.

How do I approach this with them. They are usually so helpful and reliable but I don't know I could trust them to feed her for me again

OP posts:
Original poster
ShinyPinkShoes · 20/10/2008 22:07

No she didn't have access to outdoors or to any water from bathroom or kitchen.

OP posts:
MommyHasaHeadache · 20/10/2008 22:13

Poor kitty cat and at your friend for forgetting! Especially as you called the night before. I wouldn't be impressed either!

Cheesesarnie · 20/10/2008 22:18

aww poor cat.dont ask them again.id be really cross.

Lovesdogsandcats · 20/10/2008 23:44

"It's just a cat, it will be fine."

I am not surprised your cat would not notice if you went missing for a fortnight.

To OP if a friend of mine did this I would never talk to them again, this is seriously abnormal and no real friend would agree to feed a cat for a weekend and 'forget'.

bellabelly · 20/10/2008 23:54

Lovesdogsand cats - that is a bit extreme - it's not like OP was off for a fortnight. Her cat will be FINE! One of ours somehow got shut in a wardrobe while we were away, luckily our catsitter noticed she was "missing" and hunted around - found her in wardrobe (in the bedroom) on third day. No harm done, except the mess she'd made in the wardrobe... As a previous poster said, they are v resilient creatures.

ComeOVeneer · 21/10/2008 09:03

LDAC surely before you condemn the friend (and I admit I would be extremely cross if this had hapened to me, but cats are very very resilient)I would find out what happened.

MascaraOHara · 21/10/2008 09:04

LMAO @ lovescatsanddogs.. fancy dropping a friend for forgetting to feed your cat for 2 days. bit extreme

Bubbaluv · 21/10/2008 09:15

Call them and just miaow pittifully at them!

wotulookinat · 21/10/2008 09:18

I'm sure the cat will be fine in the long term, but I would not have been impressed with the friends.

VictorianSqualorSquelchNSquirm · 21/10/2008 09:21

I'd not 'drop' the friend as such but I'd be really pissed off.
What if something had happened to the cat?
I don't buy the 'we forgot' line either.

georgiemum · 21/10/2008 09:28

Invite them around for dinner, then forget to feed them.

Poor cat. I'm sure it will be fine in a few days.

BloodyStranglingwithBling · 21/10/2008 09:49

I did this once - was supposed to be feeding a friend's cat on the weekend and forgot the one day! Remembered at 2 in the morning and DP and I leapt out of bed and rushed down there to feed the poor thing! He was very grateful to see us!

I think you have every right to be upset, but no harm has come to the cat and your friends do seem to be suitably apologetic and embarrassed. Chalk it up to experience and I'd use it to beat them with for a while - for entertainment value! evil

Whoever mentioned the cat feeding timer thing , please provide more info? brilliant gift idea for my sister...

pudding25 · 21/10/2008 09:58

I would be really pissed off. I have gone in to feed a friend's cat when they were away. i put a reminder on my phone so that I would not forget as I was really busy with work at the time. At least your friends felt bad about it.

MmeTussaudsChmberOfChocHobnobs · 21/10/2008 10:01

You have the right to be upset with them, especially as they seem to be embarrassed and have apologised. I would not ask them to look after the cat again.

A friend of mine asked her workmate to look after her cats when she was on holiday for a couple of weeks, the colleague did not wash out the bowls and the cat got food poisoning from the manky bowls and died

I think I would be inclined to either put the cat in a cattery or pay a cat sitter if I could afford it. Even a person that you thought of as reliable could turn out to be a disaster for your pet.

Lovesdogsandcats · 21/10/2008 11:31

I see it as serious, cannot understand why others don't too.
I am aware that a cat without food for 2 days is not going to die, but animals rely on us to provide food, and someone was entrusted to do this.

We can easily go without food for 2 days, but if this person had your child for 2 days and never provided any food, is that worse?

Put this in 'pets' and I think you will get a different response.

purpleduck · 21/10/2008 11:49
DaphneMoon · 21/10/2008 11:59

You just DON'T forget something like that, no matter how busy you are. Poor show on her front. Unforgiveable.

Suedonim · 21/10/2008 12:17

Never speak to the friends again? and That's a bit extreme, imo. Have you never forgotten anything? I'm always forgetting things. Ok, not pet-feeding, but I've missed appointments or forgotten to go places, just because my head is full of other things.

If you want castiron 100% certainty for something, then pay for it. Use a cattery or a pet-sitter. After all, the friends, god forbid, could have been called away to a sick relative or been involved in a car accident and the cat would have gone unfed. I think this is a storm in a teacup, tbh.

batters · 21/10/2008 12:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pamelat · 21/10/2008 12:40

I would still be upset with them, but I dont think you should fall out with them long term.

Poor cat though he probably thought he had just been left. I don't think how you can say "its just a cat", poor thing, its an abuse of trust.

Cies · 21/10/2008 12:41

I think you'd be overreacting to drop them as friends. Chalk it up to experience. and next time pay for a professional cat sitter as your cat is your "baby". The cat is obviously ok now, just happy to see you.

ClaireDeLoon · 21/10/2008 12:52

I'd be upset but you have said they do feel terrible about it so it is not like they were deliberately unkind. Your cat will be fine and sounds lively so no ill effects showing.

I would have a look around and see who does pet sitting - I pay £10 per visit and have two visits a day for my cats and I ring her partway through to make sure they are OK. That way you've got a professional doing (with insurance etc) and peace of mind for you.

Minniethemoocher · 21/10/2008 12:53

"It's just a cat, it will be fine"! I would like to see you go for a weekend without food or water!!! If I was your cat, I would pack up and leave permanently if that is your attitude towards animals.

I would be furious with my friends if they had forgotten to look after my cat, I am sure that I wouldn't permanently fall out with them, but I would certainly feel rather "frosty" towards them for some time...

BTW, we do use a professional animal sitter.

LazyLinePainterJane · 21/10/2008 13:00

It is annoying, they said they would. BUT in the future, I would get a timed cat food opener and leave an extra glass of water or two.

alicet · 21/10/2008 14:54

Only read op..

YANBU but I would ask them why they didn't feed your cat - they will probably be mortified and be doubly concientious next time.

My friend (who was my flatmate at the time) was meant to be working over Christmas so when I went home he was meant to feed my cats. He ended up commuting to his family an hour away and didn't feed them either. I was devastated wen I called to wish him happy Christmas and found out - I was about to get in my car and drive for 5 hours to get them but we managed to get a family friend to put some tuna through the cat flap. I just wish he had told me as I never expected him to do it - he offered!!! And I could have made other arrangements

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