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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect at least something from this boy's mother . . .

35 replies

lucysmam · 20/10/2008 18:57

My oh's mate was desperate for childcare for 4 weeks so I stepped in. Didn't ask for payment, just that they provided food for throughout the day for him....which they never did.

I have since asked them for at least something to cover the cost of the food for 4 weeks as what he ate came out of my fortnightly £50 budget for MY family. She is refusing, claiming it was my responsibility!

After asking for this, I have now been told I have a bad attitude!!!!

AM SO right now

OP posts:
LizardsNewts2GreenFrogs · 20/10/2008 18:59

shock

LizardsNewts2GreenFrogs · 20/10/2008 18:59
Shock
LizardsNewts2GreenFrogs · 20/10/2008 19:00

however, you can't do ANYTHING about it, just don't offer again. Sorry you found out what these people are like the hard way!

TheArmadillo · 20/10/2008 19:00

you have every right to be angry.

Especially as you asked them to provide food and they did not.

I would cut contact with them tbh.

soultaken · 20/10/2008 19:01

What about asking the child's dad - would that make a difference?

NorthernLurker · 20/10/2008 19:01

That's incredible!!! Obviously you'll never be babysitting so much as a goldfish for her again right?

PortofinoPumpkin · 20/10/2008 19:03

Your RESPONSIBILITY!!! I am truly gobsmacked!

Twiglett · 20/10/2008 19:03

sorry you childminded for free and they are refusing to reimburse your costs

wht planet are they on?

I am not surprised you are fuming.

TheInvisibleManDidIt · 20/10/2008 19:07

If it's you dp's mate, could you get him to ask?

Though actually I think that should be dp's ex-mate!!

woodenchair · 20/10/2008 19:08

Don't suppose you'll be doing them any more favours!! I'm am and for you.

what goes around comes around

bubblagirl · 20/10/2008 19:09

well in future your answer is no in life you have givers and takers i have toughened up alot and am not so giving anymore as too many people take the pee

well done for being so kind but dont do it anymore how rude not supplying food and then saying your responsibilty excuse me your son your responsibility you never provided food so this is what you are asked to pay back

and as for the attitude who was the one who done who the favour thank you very much enough said stuck up cow

someone like this i wouldnt want to assosiate myslef with to be honest horrible thing to do

bubblagirl · 20/10/2008 19:10

im htink you can see why she was so desperate now no other bloody person wanted to help the selfish cow probably already use dall them

Denny185 · 20/10/2008 19:12

OMFG how rude

onepieceoflollipop · 20/10/2008 19:15

lucysmam you sound very kind. I would have probably asked after a week for food or money to cover his food tbh. However it is easy for me to say this on an internet forum with the benefit of not being directly involved.

LittleBellaLugosi · 20/10/2008 19:15

No YANBU.

But tbh, it's somehting you really should have brought up at the time. On day 2, you should have said "Sorry, I've asked you to provide food, and you haven't, if you don't bring any tomorrow, I'm afraid I won't be looking after him."

It's too late to put your foot down after the event.

You live and learn.

Original poster
lucysmam · 20/10/2008 19:23

well I pmsl @ babysitting a goldfish for her again!! not a bloody chance.

Have barred all contact with any of them ever again!

LittleBella, it was brought up repeatedly unfortunately & my oh plays footy with his dad 3 times a week so not like he wasn't aware of the fact.

My answer in future for anyone who wants a favour (before anyone asks ) will be a very loud "NO NO NO NO NO"

From the conversation I have just had "we do feed our son . . . you knew he was having brekky every day . . . we were meant to be sorting with P (my oh) not you anyway" why ask ME for a favour then avoid me?

Stupid bitch, I hope she has to give up work to take care of him herself again! They've already exhausted family by doing the same thing I have just found out from my oh (and why wasn't warned?? ........he thought it might be different since they see each other every other night)

OP posts:
Original poster
lucysmam · 20/10/2008 19:25

& by barring all contact I mean ALL (he often knocks on to see if my oh will go to golfing range for an hour when it's free) but my oh is barred from any contact other than footy where the whole team are present & can't be avoided

OP posts:
Acinonyx · 20/10/2008 19:28

Bloody cheek! I pay my (excellent) CM and STILL send all dd's meals with her.

LittleBellaLugosi · 20/10/2008 20:11

It was brought up repeatedly?

3 days. Then no more bringing it up repeatedly and no more free childminding. I suspect you feel pissed off about this because you allowed yourself to be taken for a ride by this woman. She sounds like a maniac btw, it's just not normal to have this vogon attitude to favours. But you don't have to feel that you need to refuse to do anyone else a favour, most people are not nutters like this woman. You just have to make sure that they're playing fair and if they're not, stop doing the favour. Immediately!!

monkeymonkeymonkey · 20/10/2008 20:29

You have every right to be .
Why is feeding her child your responsibility

SebandElliottsmum · 20/10/2008 20:43

im stunned, i cant believe theyr people like this.
what a '#%$£*'
i think im like you, id of helped.
if that was someone looking after my children id be round with flowers and wine and never ending gratitude.
screw her bet shes running out of friends to do her favours and one day when she desperately needs help no one will be there for her.

Original poster
lucysmam · 20/10/2008 20:55

LittleBella, yeah, my oh's fave topic of conversation at footy recently. He has started 'warning' the other lads not to let them do the same to them & most of them are at it too as he seems ok.

TBH I suspect it is her, she has forgotten to pack him up in time to drop off at mine at 7:30am (he leaves for work at 6am) & then has passed the buck so-to-speak so her oh doesn't have a go at her iykwim

I'll not necessarily say no to everything, but definately nothing like this again, & not for them. Just thought after a shitty time a few years back I'd actually learned my lesson about some people who think they're above the rest of us, & now it's come back to bite me on the bottom which is very irritating!

Never mind, onwards & upwards! See what tomorrow brings . . .

OP posts:
dilemma456 · 20/10/2008 21:13

Message withdrawn

Original poster
lucysmam · 20/10/2008 21:21

No idea what he's learning from either tbh, my 2yo's vocabulary is bigger (right word?) than his, he only eats sausages, smiley faces, apples, yoghurts and chocolate so far as I could find out from any of them & he never says so much as a 'thank-you'

I would be if that was my child (who is a gannet!)

& that's after I've calmed down & decided to chalk it up to experience & be very wary of people asking for favours from now on

OP posts:
lizziemun · 20/10/2008 21:51

I'm why any parent would ask someone to look after their children and then refuse to pay food let alone their time.

Could you and dh go out to dinner with them and then leave before the bill arrives, so they have to pay. And if she questions it tell her it her responsibility to feed you.

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