Grandparents expecting dd to stay over

[charleysangel]

Recently had confrontation with PILs about age my dd to stay over with them. Apparently they expect that five is a reasonable age, however as they live 150 miles away I feel that this is probably too young particularly as daughter wakes most nights (she is currently four) and comes in bed with us and also they have only ever babysat for us the once. I feel that dropping her off for a week is not fair on dd, as much as she enjoys seeing them I feel that until she is older (approx 7ish) and is happy to not have her parents around then really they shouldnt expect otherwise - as though it is a grandparenting right?
Although I am being made to feel that I am penalizing them for living a distance away

I would say that you should compromise and maybe think about her going for a weekend rather than a week which is a long time as a first experience IYSWIM. Maybe they could come and collect her on the Friday and then you could drive over for Sunday lunchtime to bring her home - something like that?

I understand why you wouldn't want DD staying over, especially for a week when they have hardly babysat for you. It would be a big shock for her and you too. Whilst it might be nice for the GP's it could be really hard work when she comes home after her stay and she may be unsettled, which I am sure would be a nightmare for you.
I agree with some of the others, ask them to babysit for a night at your house so she gets more used to them first.

DS is just 12 months and is having his first sleepover at my parents this weekend.

He too wakes during the night, but I'm sure my Mum will cope admirably - she's raised 3 kids and used to be a childminder so I have no worries on that score!

If your DD would enjoy it then I think you should let her go for 2 or 3 nights.

Thanks for all the responses - I guessed that they would vary quite a lot - i really think the main issue is that because they have only bbsat once in 4 years (and we had to ask them) that I find it a bit strange that they think it will ok for dd to all of a sudden start staying with them 150 miles away when they havent demonstrated that they would be able to cope for a period (age 68 and 60 with quite a few health problems) and also that my daughter is not used to them doing anything for her except playing with them for a couple of hours. I will take up some of the advice and try and get them to look after her in my home while me and partner go out - as probably best for dd.

I let ds go away with my parents for 10 days. but as they live with us for 3 months of the year they know him inside out.

I let PIL have him for a weekend as they are older.

He would be devastated if he couldn't do this - he loves them all.