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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have spent £70 on tickets to a concert my ds wanted to go to, and not take him after all?

40 replies

QuintessenceOfFrankenShadow · 14/10/2008 16:09

There is a top violinist playing at the concert hall in town. One day only, he has brought with him his young students. I booked tickets for myself and ds1 (6 1/2)as he is really eager on the violin.

But, it is too late and not really suitable for ds1 who is 3. So, we decided my dh should take him to see a childrens show at the cinema, rather than stewing at home.

Ds2 was delighted when he heard the plans, really happy and excited. It was a film ds1 earlier had said he did not want to see as if was "too childish"

DS1 threw such a tantrum, shouting and kicking that his brother got to go to the cinema and not him. AND his brother got to eat popcorn, and not him.

Ds2 started crying.

We make popcorn once a week, at least. It was a film he did not want to see.

He woke up this morning, quivering lips, glancing at his brother saying "I dont want to see Mummy Moo (film)."

He is now at the cinema with dh. He was not a happy chappy, he is a very sensitive little boy. It seems his brothers prolongued outburst and displeasure that ds2 should also have some enjoyment has really put him off it.

It has put me off. I am not taking him. I am sad and angry and upset. He seems unable to comprehend what he is doing is wrong. £70 wasted. Shit.

OP posts:
soapbox · 14/10/2008 16:13

Oh FGS give him a break - he's 6.5 yo and has conflicts about whether he wants to be a big boy or not.

Really, totally disproportionate sanction imv.

You have now spoiled it for him too and you are the one who is supposed to be an adult!

lulabellarama · 14/10/2008 16:14

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Dropdeadfred · 14/10/2008 16:15

Wow - you have VERY high expectations of him don't you?

Are you sure that at 6.5 he would reall sit through a whole concert anyway, regardless of whether he likes the violin?

QuintessenceOfFrankenShadow · 14/10/2008 16:15

Yes I know. But it seems that trying to please both our sons and give them both a good experience has resulted in a total disaster. And for sure I wont be doing this again.

We did tell him we would take him to the cinema at the weekend, to no avail. Because his brother got popcorn TODAY.

OP posts:
MorticiaAnnSpookington · 14/10/2008 16:16

um,think you are being waaay too harsh - take him, don't be childish

QuintessenceOfFrankenShadow · 14/10/2008 16:17

Possibly not. Maybe I was more keen for ME to take him, than for HIM. So it wont be a big loss at all to stay home.

I have probably put him off playing the violin too.

OP posts:
MummyDoIt · 14/10/2008 16:17

I'd have made some popcorn at home and given him a small tub to eat during the violin concert.

QuintessenceOfFrankenShadow · 14/10/2008 16:17

I am not GOOD at this parenting thing.

NOt really good at much at all.

OP posts:
ChippyMinton · 14/10/2008 16:19

Please give him a hug, make some popcorn together then take him to the concert.

Dropdeadfred · 14/10/2008 16:19

you are too hard on them and then too hard on yourself when they don't respond how you imagined...

just relax...

more · 14/10/2008 16:20

Could you not just have compromised and told him that they would be bringing some popcorn back for him?

Although I am with lulabellarama, am not sure I understand exactly who woke up upset, and who did not want the other one to be happy.

QuintessenceOfFrankenShadow · 14/10/2008 16:21

But can he munch on homemade popcorn during a classical concert?

I guess I could put some in a plastic bag...

I am trying to be the perfect mum. I am devastated each time I dont get it right.

OP posts:
Saturn74 · 14/10/2008 16:21

He's only little.

He wanted what his brother was having.
Hold the front page!

Diffuse the situation, make up and enjoy the concert.

QuintessenceOfFrankenShadow · 14/10/2008 16:22

ds1 did not want ds2 to go to the cinema. ds2 woke up unhappy. I am not very clear.

OP posts:
Saturn74 · 14/10/2008 16:22

I wouldn't bother with the popcorn.
Maybe get an ice cream at the interval instead?

MorticiaAnnSpookington · 14/10/2008 16:22

oh for goodness sake, nobody gets it right - calm yourself,make popcorn - classical concerts aren't sacred things, you don't need to be all stiff and formal - and go and enjoy it both of you...

QuintessenceOfFrankenShadow · 14/10/2008 16:22

I shall go give him a hug, rush to the shower. Make popcorn.

OP posts:
more · 14/10/2008 16:23

Just put the popcorn in something that does not rattle, maybe a box of some sort.

QuintessenceOfFrankenShadow · 14/10/2008 16:23

or by icecream.

OP posts:
QuintessenceOfFrankenShadow · 14/10/2008 16:23

thanks guys.

OP posts:
MorticiaAnnSpookington · 14/10/2008 16:23

yay ! good girl ! it'll be lovely just the two of you...

soapbox · 14/10/2008 16:24

I'm laughing at me ranting at you - look at my OP last night www.mumsnet.com/Talk/parenting/626548-i-am-so-furious-with-dd-which-is-pretty-much - what a difference a day makes

Anyway, take the advice you get here - is it too late to go now?

You do seem to rather have it in for your DS1 at the moment and I really do wonder whether you really do know what is reasonable to expect from him. Particularly given all of the upheaval in his life over the last year.

His little brother won't break - older siblings have been behaving this way for many a long year and by and large the little ones come out of it stronger and wiser! He's only 6 - he needs his mummies affection as much as your 3yo does - if not more

more · 14/10/2008 16:24

woohoo, hope you both have fun.

soapbox · 14/10/2008 16:26

Oops X-posted - have fun

Monkeytrousers · 14/10/2008 16:26

He is six and a half. FFS. Please read this book www.amazon.co.uk/Talk-Kids-Will-Listen-Child/dp/1853407054/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1223997950 &sr=8-1

Five quid spent for a happier family