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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have spent £70 on tickets to a concert my ds wanted to go to, and not take him after all?

40 replies

QuintessenceOfFrankenShadow · 14/10/2008 16:09

There is a top violinist playing at the concert hall in town. One day only, he has brought with him his young students. I booked tickets for myself and ds1 (6 1/2)as he is really eager on the violin.

But, it is too late and not really suitable for ds1 who is 3. So, we decided my dh should take him to see a childrens show at the cinema, rather than stewing at home.

Ds2 was delighted when he heard the plans, really happy and excited. It was a film ds1 earlier had said he did not want to see as if was "too childish"

DS1 threw such a tantrum, shouting and kicking that his brother got to go to the cinema and not him. AND his brother got to eat popcorn, and not him.

Ds2 started crying.

We make popcorn once a week, at least. It was a film he did not want to see.

He woke up this morning, quivering lips, glancing at his brother saying "I dont want to see Mummy Moo (film)."

He is now at the cinema with dh. He was not a happy chappy, he is a very sensitive little boy. It seems his brothers prolongued outburst and displeasure that ds2 should also have some enjoyment has really put him off it.

It has put me off. I am not taking him. I am sad and angry and upset. He seems unable to comprehend what he is doing is wrong. £70 wasted. Shit.

OP posts:
SharkyandGeorge · 14/10/2008 16:28

Was it you who also gave DS1's Nintendo DS to his little brother when he wouldn't share his toy?

Am not surprised he gets jealous of his little brother really. Seems to get punished very harshly for things which aren't entirely his fault.

jumpingbeans · 14/10/2008 16:31

For what it's worth I think you were right in the first place, yes he is only 6.5, but he should not be able to upset ds2 cos he can't get his own way, would he have been quite happy knowing ds was stuck at home having no treats, if so, that's not nice

jesuswhatnext · 14/10/2008 16:35

woah quint - give yourself a break, and the kids, and your dh, and us

you will always be devasated if you try this 'perfect parent' lark, there is no such thing!

there is no such thing as a perfect child either, so, a trantrum was thrown, everyone seems to have overeacted - stop beating yourself up over it, go to the concert, have a nice time with ds (i bet he falls asleep before the end anyway)

forget about it all tomorrow and start the day afreash

QuintessenceOfFrankenShadow · 14/10/2008 21:48

We went, the concert was very good. Really some challenging pieces. Sjostakovitsj, Svendsen, Martinu, Bull and Grieg. The adjoining cafe looked like in the Star Wars Cantina, he said, so he was happy about that. I gave him the option to leave in the interval in case he was tired/bored, but he did not want to as he enjoyed the music. He fell asleep five minutes before the end, it finished at 10 pm. We both enjoyed it. His ambition is to master the Star Wars music on Violin, lol.

Sharkyandgeorge, I am glad you are able to sum up my parenting based on two threads which really are not that reflective of neither my relationship with my children nor the relationship between my children. I needed a perspective on the nintendo situation, I got it, thankfully, it has gone without a hitch since, and we have peace in the household. I have two boys who love doing things together, and a 3 year old who stretches to his brother, and a 6 year old who is advanced for his years. And I am not the perfect mum but I try. Parenting, as you perhaps know, is full of challenges. Sometimes we handle it good, sometimes we dont. But I have to take that comment on the chin, if I post on a public forum, people see threads, and judge based on two snapshots of life.

In hindsight, we should ALL have gone to the cinema first, then my dh should have taken ds2 home and I stayed behind in town to go to the concert after.

OP posts:
mumeeee · 14/10/2008 22:27

I'm glad you took him and that he enjoyed it.
We all have times when we do things wrong.

Monkeytrousers · 16/10/2008 12:22

The AIBU board is parr for the course for judemental replied thought Qunint. It should be called the hormonal/knee jerk/Daily Mail. The Sun headline board.

No the place fpr nuanced advice

sparklesandnowinefor8days · 16/10/2008 12:39
wheniwasyoung · 16/10/2008 12:42

QOFS - I think you are very gracious.

QuintessentialShadow · 16/10/2008 22:20

Well said monkeytrousers, though I must say your spelling bear the evidence of some wine. GIVE ME SOME!

QuintessentialShadow · 16/10/2008 22:21

Gracious? Me? First time I have heard that, lol!

QuintessentialShadow · 16/10/2008 22:21

Gracious? Me? First time I have heard that, lol!

QuintessentialShadow · 16/10/2008 22:21

so I had to say it twice....

Monkeytrousers · 17/10/2008 01:14

Just my usual Quint

Cod has lefr a terrib;e ;legacy for the rest of us keyboard dyslexixs! Have one on me!

wehaveallbeenthere · 17/10/2008 01:25

You are doing okay. I think you should follow through with your plans. Next time you will know better. Parenting is not a perfect science. Children don't come with directions. or owner's manuals or whatever. It's a touch and go.
Just that fact that you are trying to please everyone shows you care. Give yourself a break. Eventually they will grow up and laugh about this.

wehaveallbeenthere · 17/10/2008 01:27

Hah! I see by the second page that you figured it out already.

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