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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to dislike the one child family topic?

85 replies

DrNortherner · 10/10/2008 11:00

I have an only, I am an only. I don't feel I need any extra support over and above what MN could already provide.

My ds is a child like any other and brings the same delights and challnges as any other kids.

He just happens to not have a sibling.

The new topic makes me feel like a bit of a freak. I don't think I'll be using it.

OP posts:
zippitippitoes · 10/10/2008 11:52

i think it is a bit odd as someone pointed out

i dont see why large families is a separate topic either

itis about children and parenting after all

and behaviour and education seems to cover it for any size family

snowleopard · 10/10/2008 11:52

But that's my point - it isn't a divide, any more than it's a divide to want to chat with other chicken-keepers or crafty types pr people with children with SN. Only if you make it so or see it that way.

tortoiseshellWasMusicaYearsAgo · 10/10/2008 11:52

PuppyMonkey - it's because cats fit into pets. But chickens didn't fit anywhere - they're not 'pets' because people eat them (lots of people on here raising chickens for the table), it's not 'ethical' living, it's not gardening.

And I love our chicken topic!

AMumInScotland · 10/10/2008 11:54

Shitehawk "I don't want to be ... be made to feel that I shouldn't be using other parts of the board because there's a one child family topic now."

I don't think anyone is suggesting that the One Child Family topic should become some kind of ghetto where mothers of an only can stay away from the rest of the board, or that all of their questions are specific to having an only child.

It's simply that some questions do come up about only children - particularly in areas like how other people react - which are worth grouping into a single area.

It may well be that people post on there with a worry, and are told by experienced mothers that they shouldn't worry about it, and that it isn't specific to having an only. That will still have answered a question and a (perceived) need.

I think snowleopards point is an important one - when you see the topic as well as the thread title, it makes it clear what angle they are coming from and that helps.

willow · 10/10/2008 11:54

Ds is an only and I wouldn't feel remotely freakish for using this topic. Think it will prove useful.

WouldYouCouldYouWithAGoat · 10/10/2008 11:55

yanbu i feel the same way

VinegARGHHHTits · 10/10/2008 11:57

I want a 'middle child' thread, i was a middle child, topics would be -

'how do you stop your middle child having middle child syndrome'

'Do you love your middle child less than your pfb or the baby of the family'

wannaBe · 10/10/2008 11:58

no yanbu I think it's a load of bollocks.

I think that we run a real risk of compartmentalizing people with all these separate categories - there are little boxes and everyone fits into a specific one. . Where is it going to end? large families/only children/gay parents/single parents/parents of teenagers/parents of multiples. Maybe we should have parents of boys/parents of girls/parents with three children (three children have issues too don't they? Middle child being left out and all that ), perhaps we could also add in parents of gay children too? In fact maybe mn could set up the site in such a way that when you sign up you could specify your circumstances and only be allowed access to that part of the board so people could post with all their like-minded people with the same "issues".

Bubbaluv · 10/10/2008 11:59

Northener, I wonder if this topic might seem more relevent to someone who has an only child, but came from a large family. They might more keenly feel the differences?
I've had a number of conversations with my only friend who was an only which would lead me believe that there could be a number of topics which might be specific to these families.

wtfhashappened · 10/10/2008 11:59

maybe because some one child parents get sick of having to justify or defend it on some of the more mudslinging threads... a little sanctuary thread!

zippitippitoes · 10/10/2008 11:59

large age gap families

small age gap families

PuppyMonkey · 10/10/2008 12:00

Thanks for explaining tortoiseshell. Still think it's a bit random for chickens to be singled out! What if you keep goats and stuff? There should be a Self Sufficiency section!!!

wannaBe · 10/10/2008 12:02

white families/black families/muslem/catholic/insert religion of choice families.

AMumInScotland · 10/10/2008 12:05

But nobody is trying to compartmentalize people, just threads - MN is so big that threads can vanish into the depths, so we have topics to separate them out. If any person thinks they have to stay in a certain area, then that's them that has the problem!

wannaBe · 10/10/2008 12:05

rich families.

Families living on the breadline

working families

families claiming benefits.

FAQ · 10/10/2008 12:07

well why not just go the whole hog and cut out all of the topics in each category and instead just have

"Becoming a Parent"

"Being a parent"

"Classified"

Yeah think the rest of the sections we could cut out as they could be posted elsehwere

wannaBe · 10/10/2008 12:10

"If any person thinks they have to stay in a certain area, then that's them that has the problem!" exactly! If people think that there are all these issues relating to having an only child, then that is their problem and not the fact that they have an only child.

I really don't see these issues that all these people are imagining. Everyone started out with an only child, so is that to say that having one child requires more support and understanding than having two or more? I think not.

If people have all these issues then maybe they need to ask themselves whether they're really that happy with their decision to have just the one child. And if having one child only is due to fertility issues, then maybe they need to seak some counselling to come to terms with that, rather than thinking that having just one child is in some way going to make them different/special/more worthy of support.

And I've never seen any mudslinging wrt people having only children elsewhere on the boards.

Surfermum · 10/10/2008 12:11

I just see it as another area to chat with people who have something in common with me.

And just because there is an "onlies" section now it doesn't mean that's the only place I'm going to post.

I don't look on it as segregating people and putting them into boxes. I think it's just a way of organising the threads so that people can find what interests them, or can find/ask for the relevant advice more easily.

Swedes · 10/10/2008 12:11

Families with Freckles

Families with Strange Uncles

Families with a Grandparent Who Knits

Families who Like Viinegar on their Fish & Chips

darkpunk · 10/10/2008 12:11

wannabe...what are you suggesting then...getting rid of every topic but "chat"?

FAQ · 10/10/2008 12:14

"f people have all these issues then maybe they need to ask themselves whether they're really that happy with their decision to have just the one child. And if having one child only is due to fertility issues, then maybe they need to seak some counselling to come to terms with that, rather than thinking that having just one child is in some way going to make them different/special/more worthy of support."

Well just apply that across the entire talk section should we - got a problem/issue/something that makes your family different - go get counseling or deal with their issues???

Rubyrubyruby · 10/10/2008 12:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

edam · 10/10/2008 12:15

Don't really see the problem, tbh. No-one's suggesting people will ONLY post in that one topic. You'll see it when you look at Active Conversations or last hour or whatever. And if you don't like it, you can always block it.

I wouldn't have bothered about it before I saw the thread wanting the topic. But if other people feel the need, that's fine by me. Might even post there now and again.

WeLoveFabio · 10/10/2008 12:15

What I can't understand is why I haven't got a topic ALL to myself.

Single inadequate mother of boys with a four year age gap and a ford fiesta and a broken washing machine. And medium sized tits.

I mean fgs how am I going to meet anyone else like me if I don't know where to look?

Seriously. The only thing I really wonder about re this topic is how many threads are there going to be that couldn't go somewhere else? I mean you have actual things to write about regarding chckens. only children don't really have that many differences to ordinary children.

WeLoveFabio · 10/10/2008 12:16

Families with ONE CHICKEN would be a good one.