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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not send Ds's to harvest festival this morning??????????

188 replies

frangipan · 08/10/2008 07:55

Its a matter of principal I suppose.
last year and this year each child has to find 1 of each coin of the realm (£1.88) and tape it to a sheet to take into harvest for wateraid in underdeveloped countries.
We always used to send in food for the local community which was great, we all had a choice to send what we could spare, whether that was a tin of beans or a bag full, it was all put together and taken into church.
Now I feel we are being forced to give money to cause I know nothing about...and if I don't send DS's in with it they will be ostricised(sp) from the service and I don't feel happy about that, so I'm keeping them off until 11.30 AIBU...probrably
so what do you think?????

OP posts:
soultaken · 08/10/2008 08:55

YABU - My dcs schools often ask for things, donations, money etc etc and it just never ever irritates me. I either give or I don't give.

I'll never understand why people get so upset about being asked to donate something.

FAQ · 08/10/2008 08:57

and I bet a lot of the food stuffs donated each year didn't originate in the "local" community - I'd hedge my bets that a decent number of the tins/packets donated had ingredients which were grown in a developing country

FAQ · 08/10/2008 09:00

interesting article about the history of harvest festival

chequers · 08/10/2008 09:02

Don't donate if you don't want to but keeping your child off is a bit . Isn't that truanting?

QuintessenceOfFrankenShadow · 08/10/2008 09:02

YANBU.
This is Harvest Festival. How can a Church which is shifting the emphasis away from its own parishoners at Harvest be caring for its community? This is not a cause for the Church at Harvest, but a matter for a separate fundraising effort at another time. My previous church had several causes it was supporting, from Send A Cow, to what not, with donations taken, events put on, etc. It was a Church which was both Local AND Global. I think that is important. You cant take away the local aspect and substitute with a Global, you have to ADD the global to the local, otherwise you lose support in the community you are serving.

Tortington · 08/10/2008 09:04

its hardly being asked to donate and more like insisting on it or else you will look like the only kid in the school with plebhead parents.

i think i agree with the op, and i didn't think i would!

harvest is about taking in foodstuffs and local community - traditionally

i remember seeing all the foodstuffs when i was a kid in the schoolhall, however catholics dont tend to be into harvest anymore

i get the extreme hump when people ask for a donation butthey aren't really asking - they are saying we want x

arse to you

FAQ · 08/10/2008 09:05

but Quint - I hate to disappoint but the early days of Harvest were a Pagan tradition - and wasn't until in very recent history about "caring for its community" - Harvest Festival is celebrated all over the world, in one form or another by many religions.

FAQ · 08/10/2008 09:07

Churches only started celebrating "Harvest Festival" in 1843...

QuintessenceOfFrankenShadow · 08/10/2008 09:08

FAQ - I dont get your point. Christmas was a pagan tradition too, shall we abolish it for that reason and celebrate Send A COW day?

Original poster
frangipan · 08/10/2008 09:09

Fair point snorkle..

OP posts:
Tortington · 08/10/2008 09:15

yes faq not sure of your point either.

Gettingbiggernow · 08/10/2008 09:18

FAQ - so what if churches only started celebrating Harvest Festival in 1843.. I think over 150 years of tradition subsequently counts for something - does it not? Would it still be useless if it was "only" adopted in say, 1643? Or 1443?

FAQ · 08/10/2008 09:26

But it never used to be (even in the early days of the church) a festival where "care in the community" was forefront of it. Bread would be given by the farmers (to use for Holy Communion), a harvest supper may have been held (by the farmer - and probably inviting his equally wealthy friends)

For me the introduction of supporting global causes is just a gradual change in the way things are done. It used to be about "local" produce - now you can bet you bottom dollar that most of the donated foods are about as local as a Kangaroo is to london......

Original poster
frangipan · 08/10/2008 09:26

soultaken-this is the point...I have no problem with a donation of money to a charity, but a donation is my choice of how much or what I give! I am being dictated to as to what i have to give and to which cause, i no longer have that choice , its 1.88 or nothing.
The children are missing harvest festival at the schools church as what they are doing goes against what I believe in.

OP posts:
Original poster
frangipan · 08/10/2008 09:28

If the children don't take in the sheet with 1.88 taped to it everyone can see that they haven't = emotional blackmail for 1.88 each so that your child isn't felt left out....

OP posts:
Original poster
frangipan · 08/10/2008 09:29

I agree ith quint on serving at a local level first..

OP posts:
mumto2andnomore · 08/10/2008 09:30

For £1.88 its not worth your children feeling left out and different, just send the money and write a letter to the school expressing your concerns and seeing if things could be changed for next year. Maybe they have changed because another parent suggested it, they cant please everyone.

FAQ · 08/10/2008 09:31

but the tradition of giving the food to the local communities didn't start with the beginnings of harvest festival in the church! It evolved later

Tortington · 08/10/2008 09:32

ahhh somewhere in Faqs post undermining the church, i think she is saying that causes overseas ae a natural progression

thats fine.

its the getting the money out of the kids that i personally object to

compo · 08/10/2008 09:33

so did you decide not to take them? Are you going to take them in later?

stroppyknickers · 08/10/2008 09:35

frangipan - don't apologise (many posts ago!) I too am and have not donated anything.

Bramshott · 08/10/2008 09:36

I assumed our harvest boxes were going to the elderly, so I sent earl grey teabags and horseradish sauce etc, only to find they were going to disabled children so I probably sent all the wrong stuff - ooops!

Uriel · 08/10/2008 09:38

Agree with op.

The kids' school used to do a lovely Harvest Festival with displays of fruit and flowers etc. School was beautifully decorated and the stuff was given away afterwards.

Now, under a different Head, you're only allowed to take in tins, but they'd prefer money.

The 'festival' now feels cold and has no soul. Attendance by parents has fallen dramatically.

MadBadandDangerousToKnow · 08/10/2008 09:39

Have you asked why the school no longer wants to collect donated goods? Some of the local charities to which our church used to give its harvest collection no longer want it; they were being inundated with things which they didn't have room to store and couldn't use before they expired. Likewise, who made the decision to support WaterAid - the school or the church?

If it was the school, maybe you could lobby via the PTA for things to revert to how they were. But if the majority of parents are happy with the new arrangement, then I think you have to accept the decision. Keeping your children away from the service seems disproportionate; you can make your stand in other ways.

FAQ · 08/10/2008 09:41

and going back to snorkle(?) more practical point - many organisations simply can't use all the food that is donated and lots gets wasted.

Once all of the churches and schools, brownies, cub, scouts etc have all done their collections that's a hell of a lot of food - which may well end up getting wasted.