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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To take away my sons nintendo ds AND all his games for good? (and give it to his younger brother)

63 replies

QuintessenceOfFrankenShadow · 05/10/2008 20:49

This was the third time he had it "temporarily withdrawn".

The first time when the teacher confiscated it in school when he sneaked off to play in the corridor outside the headmasters office, while all the other children were on break time outside. All the staff went on "missing child alert" and searched the grounds, prepared to call the police and report him missing. The teacher had told him to put it away because it was time to go out. Instead he sneaked off. (They are allowed one hour play time in the wednesday after school club, so one hour once a week.)

After a month, he profoundly declared he was sorry, head learnt his lesson, and he got it back on trial.
Two rules:
1.If a grown up asks you to put it away, you PUT IT AWAY.
2.If your brother wants to have a go, SHARE.

Of course, it wasnt long before he broke the rule. His brother wanted a go. He did let him, but took over to "help" him. Then when I asked him to put the nintendo away as we had to get ready to go out, he said he hadnt had enough of a go because it had been his brothers turn. "Well, it seems to me you played your brothers turn so have nothing to complain about, now put it away." He didnt, he sat down in his bed, but turned the volume down so I could not hear he was playing. So, I confiscated it.

After another couple of weeks, we had a talk about it again, and I told him, he would have to promise to follow the rules, and he repeated the rules to me so I was certain he had understood.

He got it back this evening. He played for an hour, he did not share with his brother. I asked him to put the game down to come to bed. I ask him THREE times. In the end my dh too SHOUTS at him to put it down NOW. THEN he put it down.

I took the games, all his games, and told him he had forfeited all his chances of having a Nintendo by constantly breaking the rules. I gave the bag of games and nintendo to his brother. He accepted happily.

AIBU????

OP posts:
Grammaticus · 05/10/2008 21:33

We have had to police DS2 (age 7) very firmly, especially with Pokemon which seems particularly addictive (don't buy it!).

Our unspoken ground rules are -

No DS before school, ever
No DS going in bedrooms, only downstairs

Our oft-repeated rules are -

DS on weekend mornings until about 10 (either this or tv, it's "screen time" in this house)

DS only after tea and when homework, music practice are done

I too think you need to admit to being wrong and back down. Say you have thought it over and changed your mind. Set new rules as other posters have suggested.

Grammaticus · 05/10/2008 21:34

Sorry, cross post. Yes!!

Word · 05/10/2008 22:33

QS - let us know how you get on?

(I have done many rash-but-stupid things myself)

hellish · 06/10/2008 02:30

Does his brother have to share with him now?

I think you should take it away if it's causing so much conflict in the family. BUT I wouldn't give it to his brother, at 3.5 the brother can probably be distracted/ forget about it if he doesn't see it around?

Or if the little one is v smart, I would let the him have it when big one is at school, grab it when he's not looking and 'break it' ie take a battery out / turn it round. Say "oh dear it's broken"
Then put it away forever.

They are totally addictive and I don't think kids really can put it down straight away when asked to.

mymama · 06/10/2008 03:48

I don't time my dc on their nintendos. They are given free reign and it seems to work well for us. They might use it for 2 hours one day and then not touch it for three or four days. If they started using it for hours at a time each day then I would limit it.

I personally don't like a 30 min time limit. Sometimes it can take that long to get "through" a certain part of the game. Very frustrating if they just manage to conquer something then have to turn it off. An hour every other day would be preferable.

Imagine a 30 min time limit on mumsnet . Am sure we would all rather a few hours one day then 30 mins each day.

QuintessenceOfFrankenShadow · 06/10/2008 19:15

Thanks guys it went well.

I spoke to ds1 about it to reassure him as soon as I woke up this morning, but asked him to not mention anything about nintendo to ds2 until I had a chance to talk to them both together afterr dinner.
So, dinner, music practice, a talk, and then we had an ice lolly to take the edge of it. Ds1 played for one hour, and after it was DS2s turn. Realistically, when ds2 was playing, ds1 was watching and helping him when he asked for help. So, I am satisfied so far. I keep the nintendo in between sessions in a place they cant reach (not even when standing on a chair)

So thank you so much all of you for your input. Invaluable, it really helped me out.

OP posts:
BreevandercampLGJ · 06/10/2008 19:47
Grin
nell12 · 06/10/2008 20:04

Glad things are calmer now. Hope things stay this way.

Well done, I think you handled the situation brilliantly today

WideWebWitch · 06/10/2008 20:44

that's good to hear

ilove · 07/10/2008 09:19

Brill

QuintessenceOfFrankenShadow · 07/10/2008 09:50

Thanks. I wouldnt have handled it well at all if it wasnt for mumsnet and you lot.

I did not think about this fuelling sibling rivalry. Luckily I paid heed to some of the comments, and tried to recognise that they both have a desire to play. DS1 wants us to get ds2 a nintendo for Christmas. We will see. But I had planned on buying them both a Wii.....

OP posts:
Word · 07/10/2008 13:48
Smile
BEAUTlFUL · 07/10/2008 14:17

This is why my poor son will never be allowed to have a DS!

I'm glad it got sorted out.

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