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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be annoyed at DD (11) spending dinner money on sweets/junk?

71 replies

jellybeans · 03/10/2008 18:03

DD has just started secondary and I give a couple of quid a day for school lunch, she is not big on sandwiches and had hot meals at primary. I know she buys sweets and goes in the sweetshop before and after school daily as do her friends as she has admitted it a few times. A couple of times I drove past her on the way back from school (I pick my other DC up from another school and sometimes pass her on way back, she walks with friends) and she will hide stuff behind her back (ie junk food) while waving, I offered her a lift once and she dropped half eaten sweet wrappers on the floor right in front of me and denied they were hers. I don't expect her never to buy sweets/junk but am worried about weight gain etc (she is putting on weight although not fat) and the money is for lunch not crap, I haven't got money to throw away either. She does get pocket money which she also spends on junk sometimes. Is it control freakish to expect to have any say what she buys at this age? Should i just let her buy it? Put her on butties? Give her less money? I have tried to encourage healthy eating and said sweets in moderation are OK but it is falling on deaf ears it seems. Any advice?

OP posts:

FreakyLadyFrightALot · 03/10/2008 22:22

Piffle, theoretically has a good system in place...problem here is, because of card system, ds possibly spend money available as soon as poss...and possibly would go without any food

Tinker · 03/10/2008 22:27

I like the idea of teh swipe card. No pupils allowed out of our school during the day but I know she certainly does not make the best choices during for lunch

Original poster

jellybeans · 03/10/2008 22:32

Thanks. Do you think I should enquire about the cashless system to the headteacher or the PTA?

OP posts:

pointydog · 03/10/2008 22:33

I don't think a cashless system is going to change anything about pupils going down town and eating rubbish. You need them kept on school premises above all.

DumbledoresGirl · 03/10/2008 22:37

I am not convinced by the card system, I must admit. Ds is forever mislaying his and then of course, he cannot get anything to eat all day. We don't get the option of knowing what our children choose to buy with the card either (though I undersand there are no bad options). I worry less about what ds is eating and more about what he is drinking since the drinks are so expensive I banned him from buying them. But then I strongly suspect he does not have the (free) water.

All in all, I am happy that recently he has opted to take in sandwiches. At least I can provide him with all the components of a healthy meal (though of course, still no guarantee that he will eat them).

herbietea · 03/10/2008 22:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

FreakyLadyFrightALot · 03/10/2008 22:39

like I said, within schol the cashless system is NOT going to stop pupils having the wrong diet combos, unless the options would make it impossible....i.e. for lunches only lunchdeals that are a good combo would be presented and sold...say a meal(carbs/protein...etc...all incliuded would be offered) with a pud....only the n it will work...in es school they can chose anything...and if I don't enquire/or would be informed, I would not know if my child has a reasonably balanced meal...

herbietea · 03/10/2008 22:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

pointydog · 03/10/2008 22:40

dd1 takes in a carton of fruit juice and she could take a water bottle too if she wanted one.

DumbledoresGirl · 03/10/2008 22:41

I wish my sons's school would have that system. I have lost count of the number of times ds has lost his card, and the most annoying thing is that he never tells me he has lost it so I can provide him with a lunch. I recently started him on sandwiches after I discovered he had not eaten a lunch for a whole week!

FreakyLadyFrightALot · 03/10/2008 22:43

pointy, still a lot of fired and highly procesde food, and they don't have to buy it as a meal...and in ds's case he usually spend lots of money on juice and those hash browns...but because he bought so much juice he would go over his agreed money and even be without money left at one point or another....which is just wrong....

children , at that age just can't make that decision, tbh....I would have made crap decision at that age....
however, in germany you are out of school, at the latest at 2pm (usually, some exceptions, of course) and then you would have a hot meal, and in the evening a cold bread/sandwichy meal

ShyBaby · 03/10/2008 22:44

We had a real problem in our school where lunch was concerned.

25 kids in a class, ten classes in a year group, five year groups. A canteen that would seat around 150 pupils for cooked dinners and a take out burger bar. If you didn't rush down there as soon as the bell sounded you had no chance of getting any dinner. If you were a shortarse like me, even less chance..even the first years would push me out of the queue!

So it was off to the garage just outside the school for pasties and chocolate.

Me, I had £2.00 a day and bought boxes of cakes, crisps and general crap. Then at 14 I bought cigarrettes and sold them to the first years for a profit (im not proud of it btw), with what was left I bought crap from the garage.

I dont think I ever ate one healthy meal in all the time I was there.

FreakyLadyFrightALot · 03/10/2008 22:44

that is the ing dg, isn't it...must admit at ds1's age I did not always think to really enquire...

pointydog · 03/10/2008 22:48

I think at that age they can make a decision

FreakyLadyFrightALot · 03/10/2008 22:52

well, my son can't...maybe he is unusualk or weird who knows...but considering otehr responses on this thread, I don't think he is a isolated case....

I think he could make a choice if there was some level of control, but NOT wihtout any control...tbh, I couldn't have....at that age...gosh, have problems now, lol....to control my food urges, I mean, lol

FreakyLadyFrightALot · 03/10/2008 22:56

oh, well...actually pointy, at that age they can make a decision, but if it is a good one is a whole different thing...and whilst I am responsible for my childs wellbeing, I like to make the right decisions for my Kids, within reason...I am not a health food freak...but I do think that main meals should be reasonable healthy and balanced...maybe I am wrong, who knows...but I feel that nutrition is important for all over well being and health

FreakyLadyFrightALot · 03/10/2008 22:59

btw, pointy what do you class as not crap food...to me, hash browns are crap food....chips (if eaten daily are shite)...any prcessed food has a crap factor to it, really....so, does your childs school only provide unprocessed healthy foods, if so...then it would be my perfect school for my Kids...because that would mean it would be impossible to make crap choices....

Original poster

jellybeans · 04/10/2008 10:39

Thanks all

OP posts:

pointydog · 04/10/2008 15:06

I am sure we would not agree on what is crap food, freaky

pointydog · 04/10/2008 15:07

School dinners in Scotland (my area at least) have improved quite a lot. I eat them myself and I am happy with them.

ziggy123 · 10/10/2008 09:38

My daughters school has a cashless system and we top up her account online so don't need to give her cash I can see her balance and what she had to eat at school - i think all schools could help our kids if they offered this service although sayin that i still have to send money to school with my littleun

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