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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be annoyed with my SIL?

34 replies

oysterpots · 03/10/2008 17:33

SIL's DS is 2, my DS is 14mo.

She's always been really generous and lent us clothes and toys for our DS, which we've been very grateful for (they are significantly better off than we are) and we've always said they can borrow all our bits and pieces for their next DC.

SIL is pregnant and has just found out she's having DS2. I asked whether she had a 12-18mo coat we could borrow for DS (for a couple of months until he fits into his 18-24mo one we already have). SIL is now saying she wants to keep hold of everything to keep it in shape for DS2.

AIBU to think it's ridiculous for me to have to spend another £20 or something so that in 18 months time her DS2 will have 2 coats to choose from?!?

I know it's totally up to her and she's been generous up til now, but I don't think knowing I was having another boy would stop my generosity as I would always plan to have more DC anyway.

OP posts:
mumeeee · 03/10/2008 22:41

YABU.You should not take it fogranted that she will always lend you things. She has been generous up to now and is right to want to keep stuff for he new baby.

alicet · 03/10/2008 22:49

OK so correct me if I have got this wrong but you seem to have much the better deal in this 'formal agreement'. So she buys lots of new things for her ds, you borrow the lot so probably end up buying next to nothing new yourself, and very generously give HER things back to her but a bit stained / bobbled / worn etc?

YABVU. You act like you have a right to this stuff. She has been very generous so far but at the end of the day it is her stuff that she has paid for and you should bloody well buy your own!

ShyBaby · 03/10/2008 23:00

yabu but you know that

Ive had a lot of lovely things from friends. Most of dd's clothes are hand me downs, hardly worn or brand new. But I would never expect it.

oldraver · 04/10/2008 00:07

She said you couldnt borrow the coat as she is trying to "keep it in shape for her DS". Is she trying to tell you you are not looking after things very well ??

cupsoftea · 04/10/2008 00:12

But her things will be handed down to her ds2 - if you have another child it could benefit again from getting his/her clothes

ShyBaby · 04/10/2008 00:12

Maybe not even that...

Ive passed lots of clothes on and given lots to charity but there are the odd few things that I keep. Even though I dont intend to have any more kids. Some things im a tad erm...sentimental about

lisad123 · 04/10/2008 00:23

sorry but think yabu, she might want her clothes for her new baby to be in good condition and not being funny, but coats take a battering as 3rd hand can be pretty rotten. Go to second hand shop, i brought a lovelt next coat last week for dd2 for £2

pamelat · 04/10/2008 09:38

My 8 month old is in her new 12 - 18 months coat, its huge on her (!) but will save us money long term. NO harm with a coat being too big.

To be honest I can see why your SIL wants to keep the coats for her new arrival.

nametaken · 04/10/2008 11:18

YABU - you can buy a little coat it won't cost much.

If someone had handed down lots of lovely clothes to me for my ds I certainly would have made sure I had enough elephant balloons to give her ds one.

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