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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be annoyed with my dh's comment about the dinner I cooked tonight?

34 replies

hungarianhornytail · 03/10/2008 17:05

A couple of weeks ago I did this really lovely gulash for dinner one night, and it proved a bit hit with both dh and ds.
So today I did it again, and after eating in silence for a few mintues dh said "Well, it's not as good as last time" in a very dismissive sort of way.

I found this a bit annoying and rude - I have no problem with him not liking it, or indeed finding it not as good as last time, but I resent the way that he tells me eg he could have said "ooh, this is lovely, but I think it was even better last time" or similar.
I know I'm sounding very pathetic, but I really take pride in what I cook, I love doing it, so I do take comments like this a bit personally.

I told him that telling me "it's not as good as last time" was a bit depressing - and his comment was "don't ask and then you won't get depressed" which pissed me right off.

How would he feel if after sex I would turn to him and say "Well, it wasn't as good as last time"?!

OP posts:
SmugColditz · 03/10/2008 17:06

well, initiate some sex tonight and then 6do6 say oh its not as good as last time2

SoupDragon · 03/10/2008 17:06

Try it.

belgo · 03/10/2008 17:07

'How would he feel if after sex I would turn to him and say "Well, it wasn't as good as last time"?!'

I think you should do that

Tamarto · 03/10/2008 17:07

I agree with smug, see how he likes it

nickytwotimes · 03/10/2008 17:08

What an arsey thing to say to someone who has cooked you a meal!
The sex idea is terrific.

yomellamoHelly · 03/10/2008 17:08

That's pretty rude. I'd let him know you expect better and then ignore. My mum would have whipped it away from us and binned it if we'd said anything like that when we were growing up.

DaDaDa · 03/10/2008 17:09

"well, initiate some sex tonight and then 6do6 say oh its not as good as last time"

Then turn over and mutter 'he was better looking too'.

Original poster
hungarianhornytail · 03/10/2008 17:09

OMG I can just imagine the reaction I'd get

OP posts:
Original poster
hungarianhornytail · 03/10/2008 17:10

lol DaDaDa

OP posts:
Saturn74 · 03/10/2008 17:10

Blimey, you eat early.

Your DH is rather rude - he'll be cooking for your approval tomorrow night, I assume?

ImnotMamaGbutsheLovesMe · 03/10/2008 17:11

Definitely tell him the sex wasn't as good as last time. My DH tells me things were better when I have cooked them before and I sulk for about a minute and then we usually have a bit of banter and it is forgotten. I bought some stuffed chicken things the other day and took it persently when he wasn't keen.

Original poster
hungarianhornytail · 03/10/2008 17:16

We're not in the UK, so it's a bit later here (hence we've already had dinner) - although actually we do eat quite early so that we can eat together with ds as a family every evening.

I know I'm being a bit sensitive, but I do all the cooking, every single day, and I do put quite a lot of effort and thought into what we eat. This sort of comment (he's done it before) annoys me and I feel puts a bit of pressure on me to always cook perfect, fantastic meals - and I mean really, who can do that???

OP posts:
Original poster
hungarianhornytail · 03/10/2008 17:17

Oh, and am now seriously considering the sex thing, will have to make sure lights are on though to see look on his face

OP posts:
clam · 03/10/2008 17:18

But you didn't ask, did you? You said there was a brief silence before he said (unprompted?) that it wasn't as good as last time.
My DH offered one too many bits of criticism advice in the kitchen a few years back. Result: he now has the job!

shootfromthehip · 03/10/2008 17:22

PMSL at 'he was better looking' to the point where DD has jusked asked 'what's wrong Mummy?'. Am still chuckling (?) now.

I would tell the DH you look forward to trying his goulash and you can compare and contrast. Cheeky sod

ilovemcdreamy · 03/10/2008 17:25

I'd have whipped it out from under his nose and chucked it in the bin ... in silence. And tomorrow I'd be leaving him to cook for the kids while I took myself out to dinner with some girlfriends.

wehaveallbeenthere · 03/10/2008 17:29

I'm with yomella. It was very rude that your DH said that but perhaps his taste buds are just off. You know how men can be when they aren't feeling well? They become the biggest babies on the planet.
My mother would have taken it away also but my father treated her better than that and never would have mentioned, let alone stated out loud, if he thought something was off with one of her dinners. The appreciation factor in their marriage was too strong to argue over anything as petty as a dinner not being as good as before.
If my DH had said something like that I'd have said something insane like "so you think it is missing something?" and emptied the salt shaker over it and then canned it. Dinner would end with "next time you can make it yourself".
You can believe there would have to be some major kissing up to get me to spend my time making that dish again. Life is too short.
I wouldn't go the "sex isn't as good as before" route though. Why make a mountain out of a mole hill? Men don't understand arguing 30 minutes past the fact anyway. Make your point and then go from there.

kiddiz · 03/10/2008 17:29

I knew someone who's dh handed her his plate after dinner with the comment "not too often dear" !!

wehaveallbeenthere · 03/10/2008 17:31

besides, you are a wonderful cook since you do it all the time how could you not be? It was probably just him...he probably has a cold or needs to get a checkup. Maybe a toothache starting?

TheProvincialLady · 03/10/2008 17:31

What, you would literally turn lesbian over an incident like this ilovemcdreany

ImnotMamaGbutsheLovesMe · 03/10/2008 17:35

personally a few posts ago!

wehaveallbeenthere · 03/10/2008 17:39

er, maybe you would be making a molehill out of a mountain if you do go the sex isn't as good route?

purpleduck · 03/10/2008 17:44

I have been known to have a "sandwiches only" for a few dinners in a row. That tends to sort out complaints and criticisms. (Though to be fair, I get it from my kids, not dh)

elmoandella · 03/10/2008 17:45

YABU - i think. perhaps it wasn't as good as last time. perhaps last time he was humouring you and he actually thought it was rank.

and to save his stomach it for a third time he was trying to tell you in a nice way that it's not all that great.

SmugColditz · 03/10/2008 17:54

he can save his stomach all he wants, I would not be that rude to someone I was paying, never mind my partner!

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