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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

do you think it would be wrong for me to go through life, never really doing anything as such

68 replies

freespiritfreedom · 01/10/2008 20:20

i don't like working, i like being a free spirit, i love being a sahm but i guess when my dcs go to school the pressure will be on.

"when you going to get a job" etc.

we don't need the money, do you think it would be wrong for me to go through life never really doing anything much workwise.

i wouldn't mind fannying doing photography and arts and crafts.
but i don't ever want a job again.

OP posts:

NappiesGalore · 03/10/2008 00:05

mabanana - i give you 6m tops before youre ready to try anything to try to remember that you have a brain cell/personality

HuwEdwards · 03/10/2008 00:08

I think making a decision about the rest of your life is wrong, and v.shortsighted. You may find in 5 years time you are off your head with happiness or gagging to do something.

Why can't you say, 'ok, for the next year I will do as I please'

LadyGlencoraPalliser · 03/10/2008 00:08

I think it would be heaven mabanana, for a couple of months. But you would get bored.

solidgoldbrass · 03/10/2008 00:11

WHy should you get a job when you don't need one for financial reasons and can occupy yourself with bunting cupcakes art and photography? You're not harming anyone else.

mabanana · 03/10/2008 15:56

I took a year off after my last child was born. I was NEVER bored! Loved it. I think I was born to potter, to paraphrase Mr Springsteen. I would have been very happy to carry on as I was - but sadly the bills beckoned. I'd need a fair bit of money though to enjoy myself.

pagwatch · 03/10/2008 16:00

agree with huw
i have been a sahm for the past ten year and will never go back to work but i have other responsibilities and what i do will change as my life moves on.

rebelmum1 · 03/10/2008 16:03

I wouldn't be a wage slave if I didn't have to. I would love to be at home, not that I'd be there much I have tons of projects I'd like to do, friends to catch up with, places to visit, books to read. Nope don't think there's anything strange about that at all. I would be unnerved if I couldn't earn a living if I needed to though. I wouldn't like to be so dependent on someone else if that's the case.

OrmIrian · 03/10/2008 16:03

Define fannying about. If I were in your position I would definitely feel like you do re work. But I don't think I could actually do nothing. Voluntary work maybe. Start a small business... something.

rebelmum1 · 03/10/2008 16:04

Christ I don't come to work to not be bored ahh ha ha

Sunflower100 · 03/10/2008 16:09

Do what you want - my only thought is for your dh - would he like to be the one pottering etc. Could you both work pt so both have the priviledge of free time?
I love my job and it gives me a sense of fulfilment and I wouldn't want to be without it- but its for a charity so hardly high flying city type - but its horses for courses- if you can afford it then do whatever suits you and dh and dc(s)!!

AnAngelWithin · 03/10/2008 16:12

my DH never wants me to have to work but said if I ever want to then thats up to me. With 4 dcs, i would imagine that even when they are all at full time school there will still be plenty to do around the house. But one day, I hope that I will become a midwife. If I get round to it!

Everyone is different. If you haven't got to work then its up to you what you do with your time!

rebelmum1 · 03/10/2008 16:19

I don't think this working malarky is all that it's cracked up to be, I'd much rather be in my garden.

zippitippitoes · 03/10/2008 16:26

what you have is choice which is a luxury you might as well enjoy

pursue whatever course you like really

the only caution i might suggest is nthat it is easy to lose a sense of structure and drift into doing very little which can make you feel depressed, bored and age you quicker

it depends how seolf motivated you are and how good at managing your time to get the most out of it

solidgoldbrass · 03/10/2008 19:12

Mind you, by 'work' do you just mean 'being employed by someone and having to obey them in exchange for money'? If you are filling your time with stuff that doesn't involve you being paid a wage but is interesting, rewarding and/or socially beneficial, then there's really no reason why you should worry about what other people think.
But anyway, you don;t have to make a decision that this is what your life is going to be like forever. Enjoy it for the moment because if you get bored (or the money runs out, or your hubby runs off with the au pair) you can go an geta job then.

MoccaMint · 19/10/2008 13:57

I would love to be in a position where i can look at all the lovely things in the Cath Kidston catalogue and have both the time and the need to use them!

If i was financially independent i would spend half my time pottering and the other life involved with voluntary work to keep things in perspective.

Oh...! to work because i want to and when i want to and not because i bloody have to!

LadyBee · 19/10/2008 14:10

I would love not to have to work. I do have a job that I enjoy and feel happy about the prospect of returning to it when my mat leave is up, but if given the choice and means, I would happily choose to pursue my interests, look after my children, volunteer at schools etc. You are a lucky woman, please enjoy your situation rather than wondering if it's right or not.

drpumpkinbread · 19/10/2008 14:18

bit rude of find the river to say, people that can't find work because they have to fit in with the school run,holidays and sickness are making excuses.

and as for saying that parents that pick up there kids are only ferrying them about.
oh how wrong and rude you are.
it's about being there to pick them up afetr a long day at school, helping them with their homework and hearing all about their day.
basically being there for them.

mytetherisending · 19/10/2008 14:28

I think being a bum doesn't set a very good example to kids, especially girls. All they think then is that if they find a rich man they don't have to work. Why don't you do a photography course at college and set up a business doing weddings etc? That way you do what you enjoy, get a sense of satisfacion and set a good example

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