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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that my DSs should be allowed to eat what I give them at breaktime?

402 replies

lonelymom · 25/09/2008 17:47

My DSs school seems to have an unwritten rule that they are ONLY allowed fruit at breaktime. Problem is one of my DSs only eats bananas unsupervised. Any other fruit and I have to stand over him saying 'Git it down yer throat NOW!'. Anyway as his bananas have been coming home uneaten and bashed (even though he has a 'bananaguard' being the height of coolness that he is) I started to give him 'schoolbars' and apple crisps but he is coming home saying that his teacher will not let him eat them and he has to put them back in his bag . Now come on - these are a form of fruit , they contain lots of fruit anyway. I am furious about the apple crisps as these are essentially dried apple slices dipped in lemon juice. I have spoken to his teacher about this a few times and she has said that it's OK so I don't know what the hells going on. This nanny state we live in makes me bloody angry. I am a grown adult who should be able to decide what my kid eats!! If I want to give him a Mars Bar, I should be able to, fgs. By the way, my other DS (in a different class) gets to eat his.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 26/09/2008 18:46

am i the only parent who doesn't mind her child not going to school with kids who are off their tits on E numbers, sweetners and shite because their parents have the right to feed them shite during school hours?

FairLadyRantALot · 26/09/2008 18:50

expat...I think I am understanding you right....i.e. you are happy that your school has healthy eating policies in place (basically) ...if so, then I feel the same as you

MsHighwater · 26/09/2008 18:52

AbbeyA, if I am providing the food, I maintain that I have the right to decide what it is regardless of the LEA's "policy" on the matter. I'd be happy to make my position on that perfectly clear to my dd's school.

Expat, I think mature debate on this subject would include allowing that there is a gap between "only fruit" and "shite" which would cover much that was perfectly acceptable in some degree or other of moderation. I don't think the discussion benefits from polarisation, do you?

dinny · 26/09/2008 19:02

our school allows only fresh fruit and water for snacks, and no handing out of sweets/choc on birthdays (or in lunch boxes)

I think it's really good - they don't need anything more than fruit for a snack

SaintPeachy · 26/09/2008 19:04

Actually we got a letter stating that non acceptable snacks are removed from child, no repacement given

Had a bit of a {{hmm}} as they took ds3's drink away (got a written apology from head for that!) but they will do it. your child will lose, not you

expatinscotland · 26/09/2008 19:04

Well, MrsH, I classify shite as crisps, KitKats/chocolates and anything with artificial sweetners in it.

And last I checked no one is moderating this dicussion or dictating how one person should post.

dinny · 26/09/2008 19:05

the school are on the children's side - it is to help instill healthy eating habits for life, which some children will NOT learn from their parents

MsHighwater · 26/09/2008 19:15

expat, you can classify food according to any criteria you choose and, provided your dcs are not harmed as a result, I have no issue with that. I'm asking you to do me the same courtesy. And I'm not proposing moderation by others, just suggesting that, if participants want to have a sensible debate then it is better to debate sensibly. If all you want is a slanging match then carry on.

AbbeyA · 26/09/2008 19:17

I think you might be in for a shock MsHighwater, schools have been doing this for some years in our area and it works perfectly well, the majority of parents welcome it. You could send your DC with her crisps or chocolate but they would be taken off her and given back at the end of the day.

expatinscotland · 26/09/2008 19:17

Get over yourself, MrsH. This discussion is NOT all about you any more than my post was directed at you so saying it's a 'slanging match' just because people don't agree with you is just silly.

expatinscotland · 26/09/2008 19:19

I agree, dinny.

This issue came up recently in a school in our old neighbourhood in Edinburgh, with the head listing some examples of what was found in children's lunchboxes.

There's obviously a lot of ignorance out there and as such then it falls to the school to make rules such as these and if parents don't like them the child will hardly starve without a snack.

kategsgotmethinking · 26/09/2008 19:20

The op hasn't been seen for a while, but I have to say I'm a bit with her. When I was at school we got milk at breaktime. That's because small children need good nutrition and calories. Everyone is so concerned about obesity ( I'm not saying that it's not of concern - hear me out) that other issues are forgotten. I have a dd who needs to put on weight - she is fed well, but she needs to eat little and often. A piece of fruit at breaktime is insufficient for her, and I am appalled that in order for her to be allowed something with more calories eg biscuit or sandwich, I have had to inform the school about her paediatricians findings and views, and she now has to sit in the "medical room" at school every breaktime to eat . I do object to a nanny state, that influences our infant school, so that I am not able to parent my children appropriately. Why should it be brought to the attention of every other child in the school that my child is small and underweight? Similarly a chocolate coin in her lunchbox on a Friday, as a reward for having eaten all her sandwiches and fruit at lunch all week was confiscated, and she was told off in front of her friends and told that her mother should know better.

MsHighwater · 26/09/2008 19:28

Wind your neck in,expat. This discussion is not about me but your post was a response to mine and so I answered it. Is that not what happens in a discussion?

Schools might have been doing this for a while and parents might have been going along with it but, imo, it is wrong to have inflexible rules like this. It might "promote healthy eating" but it also, I think, sends a message that the school is more responsible than the parent. Who does that help?

kategsgotmethinking makes a very good point. It is completely unforgiveable to criticise a child's parent in front of their peers. Surely no-one is going to condone that and yet how many of you are implicitly endorsing schools' practice of removing "banned" foods?

expatinscotland · 26/09/2008 19:31

'Wind your neck in,expat. This discussion is not about me but your post was a response to mine and so I answered it. Is that not what happens in a discussion?'

Um, MrsH, if I had meant to address you in my post, I would have done so.

YOU are mentioned nowhere in any post of mine on this thread and indeed, I'd never have addressed you at all had you not addressed me first.

So please wind in your neck.

As you were, ladies.

AbbeyA · 26/09/2008 19:31

If a DC has special needs it would still be drawn to everyone's attention if she was a special case in the playground-eating it in the medical room seems a sensible solution.

Heifer · 26/09/2008 19:35

We have the same rules at DDs school. love it, at least 1 per day I can tick off!

She likes her fruit chopped up so she doesn't have to go to the bin apparently (no idea what that is about)

She can have fruit or veg, so surely most children will like at least 1 fruit or veg! or if not then maybe time to readdress that.

disclaimer, I understand that there will be some children with real issues around fruit and veg.....

etchasketch · 26/09/2008 19:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AbbeyA · 26/09/2008 19:36

If you want to change school rules it has to be done through the right channels and I think most parents would be against sugary snacks. I should choose your school very carefully MsHighwater you can't just abide by the rules that suit you.
I find it very sad that schools are taking a responsible attitude and some seem to parents want to stand by the fence pushing crisps and chocolate through!

StewieGriffinsMom · 26/09/2008 19:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

MsHighwater · 26/09/2008 19:55

Expat, your 19:04:31 post does address me directly as does yours of 19:17:25. So "YOU are mentioned nowhere in any post of mine on this thread" is not actually true.

I will ignore your hostility from now on.

AbbeyA, this is the point I was trying to make to expatinscotland. Why do you assume that I am "stand[ing] by the fence pushing crisps and chocolate through"? I want to feed my child healthily and I am happy for school (when she goes) to promote healthy eating. However, there is a vast space between "only fruit" and unadulterated "shite" in which a perfectly healthy, reasonable diet resides that comprises all that is required for health and includes some treats like sweets and crisps. For the school to impose a rule like this - to ban all sweets just because "some" parents "might" feed their child nothing but crap is an insult and, imho, has potentially sinister overtones by undermining parental authority in cases where there is no justification for it.

expatinscotland · 26/09/2008 19:59

Well, duh, MrsH, I started addressing YOU after you laid into me and accusing me of having a go at you when tbh I hadn't even read your post because, well, couldn't be bothered.

But please, yes, by all means give me a swerve! I most heartily welcome that! I do the same to the increasing number of oversensitive puff ups who see everything as an affront to themselves.

Stewie, our council here in Scotland has a similar policy with regards to healthy eating.

I do wish there were more PE time as well.

That would be the next step.

Scotland has such a horrible obesity record and some of the worst health stats in all Europe.

expatinscotland · 26/09/2008 20:00

Stewie, which council are you in?

JuneBugJen · 26/09/2008 20:04

Just wondering...is there ever a point where the YABU's beat the YANBU's or vice versa?

What is the score here? Should we start a 'clapometer' system?

FairLadyRantALot · 26/09/2008 20:11

oh June...it does happen...I once did a Aibu thread and was pretty much told by everyone that I was ...and after calming down and thinking clear I was able to see that and admit that everyone was right....
think someone said that that thread was so united......might aswell that I have a thick skin and am able to admit when I am in the wrong....

mehgalegs · 26/09/2008 20:11

Jeez people it's just a piece of fruit.

Apple crisps have high sugar content as do school bars. Bad for teeth.

I find it bizarre that this scheme adopted by maost schools, aimed at making our children aware of the importance of eating fresh fruit and reducing cchildhood obesity should be so frowned upon by some.

It's a good, sensible rule.

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