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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that my DSs should be allowed to eat what I give them at breaktime?

402 replies

lonelymom · 25/09/2008 17:47

My DSs school seems to have an unwritten rule that they are ONLY allowed fruit at breaktime. Problem is one of my DSs only eats bananas unsupervised. Any other fruit and I have to stand over him saying 'Git it down yer throat NOW!'. Anyway as his bananas have been coming home uneaten and bashed (even though he has a 'bananaguard' being the height of coolness that he is) I started to give him 'schoolbars' and apple crisps but he is coming home saying that his teacher will not let him eat them and he has to put them back in his bag . Now come on - these are a form of fruit , they contain lots of fruit anyway. I am furious about the apple crisps as these are essentially dried apple slices dipped in lemon juice. I have spoken to his teacher about this a few times and she has said that it's OK so I don't know what the hells going on. This nanny state we live in makes me bloody angry. I am a grown adult who should be able to decide what my kid eats!! If I want to give him a Mars Bar, I should be able to, fgs. By the way, my other DS (in a different class) gets to eat his.

OP posts:
VictorianSqualor · 26/09/2008 12:19

Thing is though HMC, rules at school have to be simple blanket rules to suit everyone, hence fruit/veg only.

If the rule was 'healthy' food only then one parent might send an apple, another a salad sandwich, another tuna pasta, some would send walkers 'lites' or a similar variety, none of which are particularly unhealthy but they wouldn't have the same result as fruit/veg. What constitutes as 'healthy' to one person may not another. Where as fruit or veg is just that, fruit or veg.

Anyway when I was at school we had no snacks. I was fine

handlemecarefully · 26/09/2008 12:20

I don't feel strongly about it actually, I'm just arguing the toss

Mostly mine take banana / carrot sticks / grapes (but sometimes cheese and crackers for variety, and because I like to show off that my 4 year old eats stilton)

AbbeyA · 26/09/2008 12:26

I don't think you are mean NoblesseOblige, just sensible. It isn't an arbitrary or crudely thought out rule.
I would much rather teach a DC after water and fruit than after a sugary drink and a sugary snack-the improvement in behaviour is significant.

feeble · 26/09/2008 12:30

Our school had such a problem with this they no longer allow any snacks at breaktime. Instead we pay a £1 a week and they have a special snacktime when they are offered fruit yoghurts and other such snacks. My DD loves it and it saves me hassle.

NoblesseOblige · 26/09/2008 12:33

AbbeyA is my new best friend.

i am "not mean, just sensible." i shall print this out and show it to my children!!!!

as you were, people...

handlemecarefully · 26/09/2008 12:33

Now that's what I call a sensible approach feeble, it enables the school to provide a wider range of alternative healthy snacks (including yoghurts as you mention), without opening the floodgates to dull witted parents to send in something inappropriate

FrockHorror · 26/09/2008 12:42

"I would say 'ds, rules are rules and fresh fruit is what you are allowed and that is it.'"

Absolutely and if he didn't like it, well then its is tough as far as I would be concerned.

I have this daily battle with DD about her hair being up (she wants it down. It's a nits thing). Now I tell her it is the school rules and all the while she's at school she has to have her hair up. Fortunately all the other girls in her class have their hair up but even if they didn't, it wouldn't be something I would be prepared to back down on. Same goes for healthy eating. Fortunately, school provides snacks for the kdis at breaktime and it is always fresh fruit.

loobeylou · 26/09/2008 12:46

agree with the poster who said all the social improvements that happened in secondary school when lunches were improved and vending machines removed.

worked in a school where the GCSE business studies group "ran" the vending machines(full of crap)and put the profits into school funds. thought this was dreadful.

Taught a girl who used to have nothing but a litre of happy shopper orangeade for lunch. Impossible to keep her sat down all afternoon. Can't have been doing her dreadful eczema much good either.

Know some schools who still have vending machines but they only sell water, juice, smoothies and healthy snacks like portions of raisins, apricots etc

loobeylou · 26/09/2008 12:52

that some schools let kids run around the playground eating - are they not concerned about them choking?

ours must eat the snack before they go outside

ethancristopher (sorry to pick on you, i don't think you are a troll BTW!)said a bar of chocolate won't hurt. But for some kids, everyday, on top of all the crap they are given at home, this makes a huge difference.they can be influenced for the good by seeing what their friend eat, and far from nanny state, think of all the future health needs of the obese, diabetic generation we have on our hands, it is a sensible approach to take faced with a national health & obesity crisis

Also infants get free fruit each day anyway, or does anyone think this is a bad idea and parents should be able to choose a mini mars instead?

HappyNewYearFeet06 · 26/09/2008 13:13

Just scouted through this quickly. My dd is in infant school and they don;t have snackas at all at break time and they have to go through until Lunchtime without anything. Hence a good healthy breakfast to keep her going. ALthough I am sure she wouldn't mind a piece of fruit of any variety for breaktime if offered.

As most have said, if he is hungry he will eat what is on offer, which is fruit and that is that.

We also have a list of what not to send in the lunches if at all possible, to help us promote healthy eating. Also there are some children in school wtih allergies so there is a small list of items not to take in because of this.

There is still plenty of things I can put in dd's lunchbox and I on't feel that I am being dictated to by the school at all but given good guidelines that are actually helpful most of the time.

imananny · 26/09/2008 13:19

NoblesseOblige - course you are not being mean - just sensible

I really dont see the problem - children and adults are meant to eat 5 portions of fruit and veg a day - surely making them only have fruit at break is a good thing - its healthy and will give them energy rather thna sugar rush from some other snacks

StewieGriffinsMom · 26/09/2008 13:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

CountessDracula · 26/09/2008 13:27

Why do you all have to send fruit in?
DD's school gives them fruit at break. We don't pay for it

AbbeyA · 26/09/2008 13:33

A lot of children prefer their own-it is personal choice.

StewieGriffinsMom · 26/09/2008 13:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

imananny · 26/09/2008 13:36

count D - be grateful school previde it

ex charges went to private schools - costing about £3000+ a term and STILL had to previde their child with fruit every day!!!

VictorianSqualor · 26/09/2008 13:39

CD, how old is DD?
At DD/DS's school Dd had free fruit in year 1, but from year 2 up they provide their own.
DS1 gets free fruit at school, in Nursery.

Actually, just thought, the school has now combined years, so classes are nursery/reception, year1&2, year 3&4, year 5&6. So what will happen in a year 1&2 class I wonder. Hmm

CountessDracula · 26/09/2008 13:51

She is in year 1
maybe it stops sometime then

VictorianSqualor · 26/09/2008 13:53

Yeah, it says here that it's for all pupils age 4-6, all over the country.

SaintPeachy · 26/09/2008 13:53

There's an apple stall at the juniors but always sells out before the younger ones get there so I send some in (school would rather not but they need to order more). Its 20p a shot, thats probably about right? but I only buy things in bulk LOL

infants as a fresh or dried fruit rule; school bars have added sugar so would breach it, humzingers however dont. the dried fruit bit is monitored becuase as the nutrition co-ordinator said ' theres some parents wuld just send in fruit winders'.

They haad a basic healthy snack policy before- each day 8 or 9 kids would turn up with the trendy food: peperami. Yuck. Not mine!

Now ds3 has a get out of jail free card in that due to sn and food issues he gets to eat what we give him, but tat still fits the rules as best we can. his water bottle holds squash (sorry) but only because he would not frink otherwise: he spits water at people.

ds2 though is nt and expected to fit in with rules, no question! water and fruit.

Unless a child has sn they will eat if hungry and a banana is ideal

SaintPeachy · 26/09/2008 13:54

scheme is england; not here in wales

onager · 26/09/2008 14:01

Just remember that no one is telling the kids what to bring. It's not about the child obeying orders. They are telling the parents what their child is allowed because in the schools opinion the parents aren't up to making these decisions. And now telling them what haircuts they are allowed to give their children too.

I think parents are very tolerant and patient to put up with that.

AbbeyA · 26/09/2008 16:43

I think most parents are relieved that the schools have sensible rules-they have always had rules on hair-it is nothing new.

MsHighwater · 26/09/2008 18:38

I repeat, if the school wishes to dictate what children should eat let them provide it - whether free or for sale on school premises. I wholeheartedly endorse the view that all food that the school provides should be healthy.

However, it is up to me and my dh to determine my dd's overall diet. If, from time to time, we decide that she is to be allowed to have sweets or crisps as a snack, I refuse to recognise anyone's entitlement to prevent us from doing so.

Rules like this, and the blind observance of them, teach children about more than just what it is healthy to eat, imho.

AbbeyA · 26/09/2008 18:44

You are perfectly at liberty to feed your DC whatever you like outside school hours MsHighwater, if your DC goes to school in my local LEA she will not be allowed to have sweets or crisps at morning break. The position would be made perfectly clear to you before she started. (I can't speak for other LEAs).