to think that people who spent £12,000 on an engagment ring are very silly and pretentious.?

[vio]

Recently a very good friend of mine just got engaged, she was given the chance of choosing an engagnment ring at Cartier in London, with a budget up to £12.000 ..though at the end she chose one cost £8.500 but I thought that's a complete waste of money...on the other hand, I felt bad for judging people becos everyone has its own right to spend money right?

It's none of your business. And you sound really chippy.

when we got married we bought our wedding rings in somewhere like Ratners for £21 and £18.
We were so broke and funding wedding ourselves.
Nearly 20 years on I still have same wedding ring. DH's got smashed up playing rugby.
DH often asks if he can replace it with something much bigger and nicer but i lOVE it. It reminds me of our history and the life we have made.

Their money, their right to do what they want with it (within reason of course).

What is objectionable about someone spending £8.5K or £12 K on an engagement ring is telling the world about it...as pps have said, tacky in the extreme.

I often have these musings; if fantastically rich would I spend £1000's on shoes/bags/clothes, would I have huge lavish (but very tastefulwedding in an Italian castle, would I spend £10,000's on jewellery etc etc, or would I still retain my sense of the value of money and recognise no need for such extravagnce, and moral justice, and still shop in New Look and give my money away?

I obviously hope the latter, but am willing to experiment and be proved wrong if someone wants to give me a few million.

depends on their wealth - to some 12k isnt much to spend on a ring - to me it would pay off a chunk of my mortgage

a mum at ex charges school (private darling!!) got a wait for it

50k ring for 3rd child/10yr wedd anniversary - it was a pink diamond - tbh it looked like something you could buy from claires accessories

hubby spent a months salry on mine, I love it, and have it insured under household, as he said if i ever lost/broke it, he couldnt afford to buy me another one

Agree that it is all relative and also agree it is tacky in the extreme to advertise how much the ring cost.

My DH went to a friend of mine when he was first looking for an engagement ring for me. This friend works in a Bond Street jewellers, so I guess DH figured he wouldn't be able to actually buy my ring from there, but just wanted to get some ideas. My friend told him that he would need to spend £10k minimum to get something decent. He looked at a couple of rings - said one was a luttle stone but the diamond was coloured. The cost? Somewhere around £250k!!!! Anyway, we went to somewhere else and designed my engagement ring and it is unique, special and I love it. It cost nowhere near £10k.

My friend does boast talk about how much the stock is in the shop she works in. The most expensive piece they have ever sold? A necklace for £11m.

I find it baffling that people get annoyed/upset/bitchy about what other people spend their money on. Unless they have made their money by illegal activities, or they can't afford to feed/clothe themselves then they can spend their money on whatever they like!

My engagement ring has been valued at half as much again as what it cost DH to buy it 3 years ago - so they may have made a wise investment.

And how do you know that they don't already donate to charity? The majority of my friends in similar financial situations to me make monthly donations of varying amounts to charities.

little stone - dunno what luttle means

just seems like a normous sum for such a small thing. When you can get nice ones cheaper.
I think I was born witha frugal gene myself! My £18 wedding band from Ratners looks as shiny and gold as the £400 one I saw the other day. Still lasting fine nearly 20 years on.
Maybe I'm bitter cos I'm desperately trying to raise 4 grand to get a wheelchair bike for dd that will make a huge difference to her life but I just can't.If I had 12K lying about I'd buy dd the bike and 2 more for Barnado's so other disabled kids could go cycling. And have a £10 ring.

what are you doing to try and raise it Riven? any events you can tell MN about?

writing to charities. Got 3 billion forms here to fill in.
Did shave of my hair and raise £300.
Thing is, I haven't got the enrgy to organise 'events'. Its why I'm begging off charities.

I just couldn't bring myself to wear it. I would feel alternately embarrassed and frightened of loosing it. a friend of mine was mugged on her doorstep for her expensive watch. they tried for her ring too but hadn't reckoned on her being quite as feisty as she is. she even chased them down the street !

imagine if you dropped it and it rolled away! I also don't see the point of spending more than a tenner on a watch. A 35K Rolex tells the time just as well as a £10 one from the market. Why waste the cash?

Hmmmm.guess that makes it hard...could DH do anything? could the school she attends help out with ideas?

i think 12k for a ring is too big anamount.
however, i dont think that 12k for a piece of jewellry, if you can afford it, is too much. iyswim.
an engagement ring is something you will presumably wear all the time? in that case, i dont think i want to be wearing 12k whilst washing up pots and pans. or worse, tak e off and put ont hte counter whilst washing pots and pans.
but a dress ring, to be shown off at approrpirate occasions for 12k, whilst extravagant, (and beyond my wildest dreams) doesnt sound too bad to me.

Only if they insist on telling people how much it costs

I don't think I would because I've never had that much money to spend on a luxury - not to say that I wouldn't like the chance

Do people really take off their engagement ring to do the washing up? It's certainly not going to ruin the diamond, and if it's good quality then the band won't tarnish either.

3 months salary is apparently the "rule".
Mine cost more than I would have liked (no where near 12K) but they are also investments for the future? I would like my children to have mine (to sell?!) when I am long gone.
I wouldnt dream of telling any of my friends how much mine cost, it doenst look expensive anyway.

Oh just read through all of the posts. Think my DH was "missold" (!) they told him 3 months salary, cheeky monkeys.
No wonder we can't pay off our credit card

googled it and it says 2 months on the top hits. I might take mine back and get some cash back!

i think op

if he wasn't she would be pleased for someone she calls her "friend" in such an important thing her her friends life

Well if it is one month's salary then I need a bigger ring . Truthfully though I love my ring and it did not cost anywhere near 12k. If I was able to afford a 12k ring I still don't think I would buy one, because I wouldn't dare tell anyone how much it was I would be far too embarrased. I hate big heads and show offs. I always say that if I won the lottery I would divide it fairly equally between my family and me because I could not bare to rub their noses in it. I could not live a life of luxury knowing my sister is struggling to pay her mortgage. I would only be happy if they had as much as I did. It is rather tacky and big headed to actually tell someone how much your ring cost. No-one asked me and I didn't tell anyone.

Forgot to say I once worked with someone who had the biggest rock on her finger you had ever seen. If you knew her you would know that it is more than likely she could not afford it. It was so big it was ridiculous, nearly the same as Liz Taylors, that's why we knew it was fake. She went over the top, if it had been smaller we might have believed it.

Their money, their choice how to spend it. As long as they don't owe you any money then it is not for you to worry about!

In Cartier you wouldn't get much for £8,500. They are a rip off imo. DH got mine from Boodle & Dunthorne, ripped off again. We could have got the same quality ring for half the price had we done our homework but no, we were sucked in by the champagne and nice lighting.

Out of interest what's yours like?

Mines a pretty solitaire diamond.