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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that people who spent £12,000 on an engagment ring are very silly and pretentious.?

138 replies

vio · 24/09/2008 23:14

Recently a very good friend of mine just got engaged, she was given the chance of choosing an engagnment ring at Cartier in London, with a budget up to £12.000 ..though at the end she chose one cost £8.500 but I thought that's a complete waste of money...on the other hand, I felt bad for judging people becos everyone has its own right to spend money right?

OP posts:
MrsThierryHenry · 24/09/2008 23:53

Now I sound like a heel.

My point was not 'I'm so great, look at the sort of thing I buy', but more 'wow! look what our money can buy!'

Have I redeemed myself yet?

S1ur · 24/09/2008 23:55

Nope!

I think Vio should try that though. Next time start talking about health centres friend could've bought, that'll go down really well

MrsThierryHenry · 24/09/2008 23:57

I'm going to write a song about it:

"to all the health centres I've bought...be-forrrre..."

Okay, I'm off to bed (with a teeny but lovely rock on my finger!)

wehaveallbeenthere · 25/09/2008 00:01

expatinscotland, I gave my husband his own teakettle for christmas a few years ago. I spent 2 months trying to find one with a good solid base. He loves it, he uses it almost every day.
I guess it would depend on what the lifestyle is to choose a gift. When I married I was grateful for any thoughtful gift (and even a few that weren't ) .
It is their money, you can always sell off jewelry if you get in a pinch....I have seen so much spent on the actual weddings though only to hear the couple wish they had the money instead to put down on a house.

thumbwitch · 25/09/2008 00:12

MrsTH, that is so cool!

WendyWeber · 25/09/2008 00:17

You're not going to leave a car on a sink somewhere when you wash your hands though, are you?

Anything that you can take off and absent-mindedly leave somewhere public needs to be of minimal cash value (in my little world anyway). Never lost a car yet...

wehaveallbeenthere · 25/09/2008 00:38

WendyWeber, perhaps she will have "people" to wash her hands for her. Sorry, I've known people to lose their cars...stolen, much like the ring could be but again if they have it then they will do with it what they want. I wish them well, long healthy lives and much happiness together.

Chandra · 25/09/2008 08:04

Wendy... I lost my car the other day... I couldn't remember where I had parked it or if I had used it the day before or the day before that. It took a good hour to mentally retrace my steps (and then a good walk around to corroborate my thoughts) before I found it.

littlelapin · 25/09/2008 08:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ninedragons · 25/09/2008 08:16

I would end the friendship on the spot if I found "a very good friend" of mine calling me silly and pretentious on the internet.

It's her and her fiance's money and none of anyone else's business if they want to spend it on a diamond ring or on a breeding programme for rare octopuses.

georgimama · 25/09/2008 08:20

If they can genuinely afford 12K on an engagement ring, fair enough, their money.

But to genuinely afford 12K on a ring you have to be seriously loaded. I think so many people are buying into this ludicrous WAG lifestyle and think that if they can't afford a wedding like in Hello magazine they shouldn't bother getting married. A friend of mine recently got a Tiffany engagement ring which cost £££££ but now they are bemoaning that they can't afford to get married. What she means is that she can't afford to fly their entire families to Portefino and hire an abbey like Wayne Rooney.

I went to a wedding at the weekend - about 350 people in a beautiful church, lovely vicar, stunning dress, followed by tea and cake. The ceremony and each other and having those people to witness it clearly mattered most to bride and groom. It was a refreshing change.

hecate · 25/09/2008 08:26

Yes, you are being unreasonable. Their money, their choice. The only time you have the right to get uppity about it is if they are asking you to pay for it

If they have zillions and £12000 is like a tenner to them, then good luck to them and I wish I was that lucky. If, otoh, they are getting it on credit, it'll no doubt come back to bite them on the bum and they'll have learned a lesson.

And they can always pawn it to pay for the divorce [cynical]

forevercleaning · 25/09/2008 08:31

If she discussed the budget and cost of the ring, she is rude.

If they have the dosh to spend that much its up to them, but vair vair common to talk about money they are spending.

dollius · 25/09/2008 08:35

I think people who tell other people that they are spending £12,000 on an engagement ring are silly and pretentious

SaintRiven · 25/09/2008 08:37

even if we were billionaires I couldn't bring myself to waste that much money on a bloody ring! My £17 is just as sparkly I imagine. Hope its an ethically sourced diamond
I coulnd't spend that much money when there's people starving. it would just seem wrong.

FluffyMummy123 · 25/09/2008 08:38

Message withdrawn

lovelysongbird · 25/09/2008 08:49

i think its just as bitchy to bitch about people with money, and what they spend it on, as it is to bitch about people that are less well off, and what you think they should be doing to earn/get more money.

as long as they can afford it of course.

it is really none of your business, sounds like she wasn't advertising the fact of where its from, you asked you nosey thing.

stop being bitter and be happy for your friend.

expatinscotland · 25/09/2008 09:36

did she really tell you how much it cost, though?

how tacky.

LadySanders · 25/09/2008 09:44

i had an engagement ring and wedding ring that cost somewhat more than that. we could afford it at the time. we could also afford to(and did) give a fair amount to various charities by DD every month. i don't think its anyone's business what you spend/waste your money on whether its £2 on a starbucks coffee every day or thousands on jewellery.

bossykate · 25/09/2008 09:47

i would love a great big fuck off cartier ring! i'd love to say ooh what a waste of money, tut, they should have given it to charity, but it would be pure hypocrisy! what i'm actually thinking is

mayorquimby · 25/09/2008 09:49

yabu 12k isn't that much cash to some people.

noonki · 25/09/2008 09:55

YANBU -

even if I were rich I would find it sickening to spend that amount of money on a piece of jewellry.

I hate it when you hear about rich people spending £100k on a car...there are people for who £100 would completely alter their whole life grrrr

flowerybeanbag · 25/09/2008 09:58

YABU

Assuming they can afford it, it's their business not yours.

I would be absolutely gutted if I thought a good friend of mine was calling me pretentious and discussing how much items of jewellery I have cost on the internet.

CountessDracula · 25/09/2008 09:58

I would rather spend £12k on something that I will wear every day for the rest of my life than £50k on a car that will be worth nothing in a few years

thefortbuilder · 25/09/2008 09:58

no one is going to know it's cartier once it's on her finger.

dh was adamant that he wanted me to have one month's salary on my engagement ring and he had saved for it, and it is a big ring. i looked at less obvious rings but he was really adamant about it (which is lovely as it's a great ring!)

he did for a while joke that it was his new car on my finger though

mrsth that's a wonderful story