..to call the school I'm hoping ds1 will go to and tell them about the appalling behaviour of their senior pupils at the supermarket yesterday?

[Aero]

This is our local grammar school and some of the sixth formers were at the supermarket at the same time as me around lunchtime. In the car park, a woman driver had obviously annoyed the driver of a carful of lads (I didn't see what she did to irritate him) and the torrent of abuse she received from him afterwards was nothing ordinary, followed by several rude hand gestures and further ranting. This was in front of parents with young children, myself (gladly ds2 was at school), and other shoppers. The Head Prefect was there, and although not directly involved, was telling his mates about it, laughing about it and certainly will know who was driving.

Now this school is top of our list (on our doorstep) if ds manages to get in and tbh, I was not impressed to see senior boys out in uniform conducting themselves like this and if it were my ds1 (in several years time), I would be very annoyed and would want to know so I could discuss it with him in the hope that such a thing wouldn't occur again.

WWYD - would you call or am I over-reacting?

Couldn't disagree with you more about leaving it. you witnessed it, you were affected by it, even if your dcs were having to hear this abuse. Not much might be done but at least you have done something. This was aggression and really must have been frightening for the driver.

Agree with the other posters who said that when they are in uniform outside it represents the school. The head needs this info to keep the schools reputation intact.
If more people got involved with low level antisocial behaviour there wouldn't be so much intimidation going around.

Well said Junebug. Applaudes quietly

btw, schools also love to hear when their students do nice things while in uniform too.

One of our boys turned in what turned out to be a man's entire monthly pay packet which he found in the street and another one took off his coat and covered a lady who had collapsed at a bus shelter and waited with her till help arrived.

but our HT always follows up poor behaviour on the buses our boys use or complaints from neighbours on the way from the main station to school for example.

In the same way that I would tell their parents if I knew them (and would want to be told myself), I would tell the school.

Ta Shootfrom!

I just say it how it is. Was a bit worried I was sounding a bit Daily Mail!

Snap FallenMadonna - I would certainly want to know if ds escalated his behaviour in the street beyond calling dd a "horrible little idiot girl" at the top of his voice

If my ds was seen behaving like that I would wish him to receive the bollocking he deserved. Not getting pulled up for it sends a message that it's acceptable and that it's possible to get away with it. Getting a thorough stuffing from the headmaster might stop it happening again. Good, no?

also I'd point out to my DS that doing this kind of thing in uniform is unbelievably stupid. Not that it's OK to behave badly while safely anonymous of course...

SO have you phoned yet Aero?? do let us know what the head says [nosey]

Go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on (mole roving around my face when I said that )

Please let us know what you decided to do once you have come to a decision that is.

I am more of the "it's none of your business" point of view. Having said that, last year I phoned the local (very posh) girls' grammar school after one of them jumped out and yelled "PENIS!" at me at the top of her voice as I walked past them at the bus stop.

The head of our local school wrote a letter in the local paper explaining their policy on which pupils are allowed out over lunch and asking residents to let them know if they had any trouble. I think this was in response to some complaints.

I would definitely write a short letter.

Tell the school.

You definitely should report the incident - these boys were intimidating to a member of the public - would you hesitate to report them if you, or someone in your family had been at the receiving end of their abuse?

I went to a private school where it was drummed into us that we must always behave when we were in uniform - there were occasionally announcements at assembly that someone had reported on bad behaviour on the train home, or out on the street - and if I saw any kids acting appallingly in my old school's uniform I would call the head. No doubt. Schools have a reputation to maintain and their had should take it seriously.

These kids need to realise that their behaviour impacts others and they can't get away with it - and we have a responsibility as adults to try to guide them and prevent this kind of thing happening.

Sorry - been out all afternoon.

I have called the school, however, the person I need to speak to was in a meeting and returned the call when I was out, so it will have to wait until tomorrow.

My reasons for calling are in the interests of not only my ds1 and my choice of school - of course not. What I meant by that was that if he does go there, which isn't unlikely, then I want to know that if he misbehaves, he won't go undisciplined. That is in the interests of everyone he comes into contact with is it not? I would be ashamed if he behaved like that anywhere tbh.

For all I know the person involved may well have called the school already. I am calling because I have concerns about the behaviour of the pupils in their sixth form. These were not 13/14 year olds (I'd definitely have called in that case), but children at the upper end of their education. I would have never have expected to see this kind of conduct from pupils deemed responsible enough to be out and about at lunchtime.

I do think the image of the school is important. Pupils in uniform play a large part in this, and I do think the school should know because they are in a position to do something about it because they have a certain responsibility towards their pupils.

I am also calling as a parent who would want to know if it were my child because I would want him to be corrected/disciplined in these circumstances. We have not brought him up to behave agressively towards others (who does?), but peer pressure is strong and we can't control how he behaves when we're not around, therefore have to trust that he will not let us down. We can only try to correct unacceptable behaviour if we know about it and I would value the school's support in matters such as this as it would be in the best interests of both my child and everyone he comes into contact with.

Does that make sense? My reasons are honestly not purely selfish (even if it came across that way earlier). I was shocked to witness this though from lads who I'd have expected to behave more responsibly given that they were in uniform and seen to be representing their school.

I would have called regardless of what school they attend and whether or not ds was considering going there. I certainly won't be mentioning that tomorrow.

I think you did the right thing. I would most definitely tell the school, they would want to know because it is very damaging for their reputation. It is a point in favour of uniforms, you can tell which schoolthy come from.

You may be right to report it, but please stress that you didn't see how it started. Perhaps the woman was a loon who didn't think children should be allowed in her supermarket. Or perhaps they had just told her not to park in the disabled space and she was furious at being corrected by a child in uniform.

It was perfectly reasonable to call. I find it hard to understand why anyone could think it was unreasonable. Aside from all the 'it takes a village to raise a child' stuff, the school has chosen to keep its sixth form in uniform and as such easily identifiable. That in itself would suggest to me that they'd appreciate the phonecall.

I think you should complain to the school.

Well that rather depends on what she did which was the point I was making.

I am guessing she made some sort of driving mistake, but have nothing to back that up with. They were nowhere near the disabled spaces though.

I will be stressing that I have no idea what sparked him off - he will have his chance to put across his version of events. in any case though - his ongoing abusive language and hand gestures as she was well on her way out of the car park were enough to un-nerve me.

Have called. School glad to have it brought to their attention and will investigate and get back to me.

They are in agreement regarding behaviour of their pupils in school uniform outside of the school itself.
Didn't mention my own dc, except to say that if it were my child, I'd want them to take responsibility for their actions and for school and parents to be in agreement regarding unacceptable behaviour..