To be sick of people judging me for my use of reins/ sling/pushchair/ twin puschair or any combination thereof.

[AmIWhatAndWhy]

I have an almost two year old DD an an almost 3 year old DS, my eldest is being tested for ASD and his behaviour can be quite, erm, testing. We do not drive, through choice, and live in a second floor flat by a busy road in London.

I resent being told how I should take my children out and about by random strangers.

• Taking them both, wearing little life backpacks with 'leads' attached, to the local shop, a woman laughed at them and said they looked like dogs, she was almost hysterical and another woman in the shop agreed and said I shouldn't 'tie my children up'

• Taking them both in our tandem pushchair to central London for a full day out, I need a place for them to rest when out for so long, yet every time some twat comments on our 'tank' or tells DS he's a big boy and 'naughty mummy' not letting him walk. Not to mention the huffs and stares as I struggle on and off trains/buses.

• DD in hip sling and DS in single maclaren on the way back from preschool when he's exhausted and almost asleep 'oh that poor girl all squashed to you like that she should be walking, and he's too big to be in a pushchair, oh and you'll regret what you're doing to your back when you're my age'.

So then, And the final straw, today, DS was up until almost midnight so exhausted for preschool. I took DD to collect him in the single pushchair, we picked him up and almost as soon as I put him in it he fell asleep so I put her rein backpack on and we slowly toddled home, not really in a rush, enjoying the weather and stopping to pet cats etc. Then some random woman actually comes out of her house, in her slippers and yells 'you should buy a twin pushchair, those poor kids, look at her'. DD looked around a little alramed and I ignored her and she followed us up the road. I told her we had a twin pushchair at home, but it wasn't her business and she then told me that DS was spoilt and that I would ruin DD's legs by forcing her to walk. I was fuming but calmly told her I didn't need any parenting advice. She stood tutting as we walked away.

Why do people feel the need to comment, and why do they think they know best?

Or is it just that anyone with a child that can't wipe it's own arse is suddenly fair game for public comment and concern?

Oh yanbu. I rarely get this stuff fortunately, but I think it's because I walk round with eyes like daggers and a mouth like a cat's arse. Be thankful you look normal and pleasant and not the sort that might stab them!

lol - OBM is telling you what to say to the nosey nasties.

It was supposed to be an idea of what to say to those rude people who offer you advice, but I forgot the quotation marks. Sorry for not being clear.

AmIWhat is dead touchy.

ffs, I'm such an idiot, see they've driven me to massive paranoia. He he. Sorry OBM

I'm not normally such a clown dog.

onebatm's suggestion was cleverly tested by not using quotes. From the response I think it might just work.

Oh, dear, my fault entirely. I had some fuckwit in a wig say 'Thank you!' to me today, as though I hadn't thanked him for stepping out of the way for me to get through with the buggy. When I freakin' had, the freaky wig-wearing fuckwit freak.

It took all my resolution not to go there.

"EXCUSE ME? Have you no manners? You have no understanding of my circumstances or my children's needs. Please keep your ill-informed opinions to yourself"

"DD/DS, that was a very RUDE person"

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I've had loads of comments about having DS on reins at 2. I just ignore them.

Couldn't help a gloating grin the other day though when one of the women who makes the cattiest comments was struggling to keep her son under control in the supermarket carpark. She was literally having to drag him kicking and screaming and he kept giving her the slip while my DS was walking nicely beside me on his reins holding my hand

YANBU.I also don't drive, and rely on slings and pushchairs. I've had negetive comments about carrying a baby/small child in a sling, but fortunately mostly I've had positive comments.

Also had negetive comments about using a double pushchair.

And I've been with friends when they've been told they were taking their dog for a walk because they had reins on their small child.

I think some people would be happier if children were just in cars all the time.

Message withdrawn

cod

i too have had comments about reins. just tell them to mind their own business, or ask when they last did some parenting

oh yeah, the other advantage of being non-white in the whitest place in England, no one touches my bump!

YANBU, I had someone tut at me and tell me I should be ashamed of myself not sheltering my child from the rain. It was barely drizzling, DD had a raincoat on with hood up and we were going from one shop to the one next door but because she was in a buggy she thought that it was neglectful not to have a raincover on. I spun round and asked if she knew my daughter's name. She looked abit shocked and then spat "of course I don't". I said "Well that's only the first thing you don't know about her, so I suggest you keep your opinions to yourself love."

Why do other people think they know it all?

people ca be idios

i use reins for my asd kid when needed, its nobody elses business

do I take it youre fairly new to this sn lark? sadly people judge away. I have 2 sn and am fairly oblivious (Ok I am rude as f back) but te hide takes a while to thibken

I well remember ds1 knockng me out in a hop whilst in sole care of my then other 2 (have 4 kid now)- did people help? nope the stared then criticised me on his behaviour

fuckwts. ignore them and well done for putting lo first

can
idits
thicken
shop

blimey you have had a bashing from all the harridans (inc slipper wearers)ignore them smile serenely curse internally

people like that are toxic ole gumpers,who need to mind their beak

re:Rain if allowed my lo would runabout in the nip drinking puddles,as it is i do what i can but you now what i save the arguments for something that really matters

i get tutters chasing me to chastise the wean has no socks/shoes on.

eh doh! nae shit sherlock

AYe I now thanks

I live in London, don't drive and can't be bothered with a pushchair because there are so many stairs and escalators to negotiate. My daughter walks beside me or in reins, when we can find them.

Often, she also has a pipe between her teeth.

It's unlit, of course, and has never been smoked.

It makes most people absolutely fall about laughing. No one ever tuts or makes comments. About anything. They'd be in for a bloody silly conversation if they did. I highly recommend it.

fantastic!

Where do you live? The people must be barking mad, please give a rough geographical location so that I can avoid like plague.

(I sometimes get looks in local shopping centre for marching 8 month old DS round on reins. I sometimes look slightly askance at people who have what appears to be a 5 or 6 year old child - in uniform see - in a pushchair. But I remind myself that I don't know the background anymore than they know mine, and re-arrange my features).

YANBU - and it's rare that I think so about anyone on AIBU.

Sorry, that should be 18 month old, 8 months would be extreme even in my "leave them down the bottom of the garden in the pram all day" book.

Good Lord. Can't believe just how much people can get so riled about whether your child is or isn't walking, ffs. If you see slipper lady in the street again, run up to her and say "Oh my GOD! You need to go and buy SHOES!" Agree that people round you are barking - they're lovely round here!