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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to hate the term 'the baby'

78 replies

susia · 20/09/2008 22:50

It seems bizarre to me but probably being unreasonable that people refer to their baby as 'the baby' rather than their name especially if they have only one.

Someone I know has a baby/child of nearly two and still refers to him as the baby. I feel like saying 'do you mean xxx?'

But think its just me being irritable and intolerant!

OP posts:
PeppermintPatty · 21/09/2008 10:45

Where I live everyone refers to the youngest member of their (extended) family as "our baby".

A girl at work was always talking about "our baby" and I was v confused as I was sure she didn't have any children.
She was talking about her nephew, who was 3 years old!

Cies · 21/09/2008 10:50

I think on this you might be being a little unreasonable, but sometimes other people´s ways of addressing sound weird and wrong.

I live in Spain and here they´ll call their daughter " la niña " i.e. the girl, not even my girl. It has taken me a long time to get used to it, but it seems normal now.

littlelapin · 21/09/2008 10:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

themildmannneredjanitor · 21/09/2008 10:58

i call ds2 who is 5 'the baby' sometimes.
as in -i'll say to dh 'where's the baby'!

and i also call ds1 'the boy'

clam · 21/09/2008 11:02

I agree littlelapin. Sounds like something out of the 1930s.

BouncingTurtle · 21/09/2008 11:10

I sometimes call 9mo ds, "baby" but only when he is upset, as in "ahh poor baby, needs a cuddle!" Don't call him that ALL the time.

DrHorrible · 21/09/2008 11:14

DD was "the baby" for ages - mainly because we chose her name during pregnancy, when she was born I felt it was the wrong name, but DH didn't like the "right" name, so we stuck with the original one. It took me a long time to settle into her name.

DS is my little dude most of the time!

Pesha · 21/09/2008 11:25

Agree with Lapin about HVs/MILs (not mine I hasten to add, but it does seem a MIL kinda thing) etc referring to 'baby', it really grates on me.

But I do call ds2 The Baby sometimes, also Squish, Dinkum, Doodlebug, whatever random word comes into my head! Am only really using his name more now that he is old enough to wander off and do things he shouldn't so needs to be called by name!

And I tend to confuse DS1's, ds2's and the dog's names so they become the little one, the middle one and mut. Or 'that one there'!

cornsilk · 21/09/2008 11:30

My sister used to refer to her brood as 'the boys' which for some reason really irritated me.

MKG · 21/09/2008 12:34

Could be worse. On really busy days ds1 is "that one" and ds2 is "this one". As in you take "this one" and I'll take "that one". Now I'm pregnant again I guess this baby will be called "the other one"

sweetkitty · 21/09/2008 12:39

Was just thinking about this we don't call DD3 the baby, we do call her babyDD3 (ie her name).

I do shout "girls" instead of DD1 and DD2 now used to hate that, also hate people who write Christmas cards to SK,SK DP and "the girls" they have names try and remember them!

RubyRioja · 21/09/2008 12:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

teenspirit · 21/09/2008 12:53

I call my second "the baby" partly because I'm so tired I keep forgetting her name and run through my dogs name and sons name before I finally get to her!

everlong · 21/09/2008 13:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bronze · 21/09/2008 13:40

DH still gets called 'the boy' or 'boy' by his parents. Hes the youngest with older sisters. It looks worse written down than it actually sounds. Its more a nickname than anything else.

ayecod · 21/09/2008 13:53

yanbu its horrible to say the baby.
the baby has got a name.

poor little things

SmugColditz · 21/09/2008 14:02

yes, it's abuse, call the social services.

Bumperlicious · 21/09/2008 14:21

YABU, DH and I do this all the time and we only have DD. And ayecod I don't think I am horrible at all, there are far far worse things I could, and I also have a name and it's not Mum.

skydancer1 · 21/09/2008 14:34

I was referred to as 'the Baby' by my parents until I was well into my thirties . I think it was just being the youngest of three...

This is at a tangent but what I found really weird when I was at ante-natal stuff, giving birth, PL ward etc was being called 'Mummy' by all hospital staff rather than my name. I know it was probably just easier for them not to look my name up in their notes, but quite icky I thought nevertheless.

thumbwitch · 21/09/2008 22:58

I agree skydancer - I think it is a bit twee to call us "Mummy" and the DCn "Baby"; but I still call my DS baby - as in "Hello baby, how are you this morning" etc. - mind, he is still only 9.5mo so he is still a baby! He also has numerous other nicknames, same as Pesha's dc, but he does know his real name as well.

We do also call him "the boy" - as in "how's the boy been today" (DH); or my boy etc. etc.

BUT my bro for some reason had ishoos around being referred to as "the boy" or "boy" when we were growing up (having said that, he has many many ishoos about many many things when we were growing up )

Tinker · 21/09/2008 23:01

I did it with my first for quite a while as hadn't quite got used to the idea that I had a baby and that she had a name.

TheArmadillo · 21/09/2008 23:04

we've always called ds 'the baby', he'll be 4 in a couple of weeks though we do it less now.

A friend of mine said it was awful and meant I wasn't showing any awareness of my (very young at that time) baby as a person

Surely a parent can call their child anything they want as long as it isn't nasty?

Though Dp did find it funny when a guy called out to his son 'baby' when the son was in his 20s and a good foot taller than his father

KristinaM · 21/09/2008 23:08

we call ours baby. and snot face or puke monster etc. they haven't complained. are we scarring them for life?

NoBiggy · 21/09/2008 23:19

It takes a while for the baby and the baby's name to come together in your head though, doesn't it?

DD1 often got called the cat's name, DD2 got DD1's name.

JodieG1 · 21/09/2008 23:51

My grandad referred to me "The baby" until I was about 8 or so I think, I was the only child of his only child.