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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think neighbours shouldn't call police???

57 replies

elle23 · 19/09/2008 11:32

youngest child of three has just turned one but still only got 3 teeth. top one at front proving a bit difficult at moment and obviously DD2 in a lot of pain. Last night she woke and nothing I did seemed to soothe her or help in any way. In fact, she seemed worse with a bit of attention. It was about 5am so I was exhausted and dreading having to get up at 6.30 to look after DS & DD1....at 5.20am I heard knocking on door. Ignored it at first-decided it must be my exhausted brain playing tricks on me. DH then woke up to tell me "someone's knocking on door, take the baby with you to see who it is" wow. Anyway, it was the police-as you'd expect at that time of the morning. Young female officer said she just wanted to make sure there was someone with the baby...! Now I haven't lived in area long, maybe 7 months, but DD2 has always been a little vocal. She's had trouble sleeping through the night and even seems to like screaming and bawling during the day quite a lot. But no one has ever bothered to ask if anything's wrong or even call police before!! DD2 has been known to cry for up to 3 hours in the night. Why would someone call the police?? I've never left DCs on own bfore so it's not like it could be expected. The whole experience left me feeling like I'd done something wrong. I was angry and upset. And DH had to leave for work at 5.30am so I was-and am still-alone to ponder the madness of my neighbours...

OP posts:
cupsoftea · 19/09/2008 20:50

Your neighbour was worried so did something to investigate the concern. Fortunately all ok - but at least someone did something positive to check. The police would have told them all ok so at least you know that they know everything is fine.

noonki · 19/09/2008 20:51

I would be upset to if i was you

but imagine if someone had left their kid on their own and no one rang the police,

that would be really upsetting

think it is a sad reflection on society that your neighbour couldn't knock on the door and see if you were ok

Heated · 19/09/2008 20:54

Maybe they thought something had happened to you (like an accident), or because your neighbour is being investigated for neglect (I think you said earlier) the neighbours have got a bit twitchy?

I would have been disconcerted just like you, but at least it shows neighbourly concern. They probably agonised over calling.

Sidge · 19/09/2008 20:59

Why is it malicious to call the police?

A child screaming and crying for a prolonged period of time would ring alarm bells for me if it were my neighbour - and like hell would I go and knock on someones door at five in the morning.

You could be dead in bed, comatose on the bathroom floor, being held hostage by armed robbers (OK unlikely but you get my drift). Surely it's better for someone to phone the police with their concerns than to ignore what could be a neglected/hurt/abandoned child with an injured/ill/absent parent? (Not you obviously but the caller wouldn't necessarily have known that you were home).

onepieceoflollipop · 19/09/2008 21:06

I can see both sides (I think)

Logically it is good that someone (if they did indeed call the police rather than the police passing by) did take action if they had the slightest concern that you might need help.

On the other hand if the police turned up here in the night (and dd2 regularly wakes up at 5, but not with prolonged crying generally) I would be that people thought I was a neglectful mother.

Very difficult situation but I think YABU really, but I think I sympathise with your reaction.

Reallytired · 19/09/2008 21:10

Why do I think its malcious. Well the OP has lived there for 7 months. If they were truely concerned they could have knocked first in person.

For example I have an elderly neighbour in a nineties who was offering us brandy when my son was teething badly. We didn't take her up on the offer as I suspect she meant us to give the baby the brandy. It was a kinder way of showing neighbourly concern than calling out the police.

Sidge · 19/09/2008 21:19

Reallytired I don't think that it's necessarily malicious.

Maybe the person calling was home alone with small children and couldn't leave the house themselves?

Maybe it was an elderly person who was scared to knock in case they encountered aggression or danger?

7 months isn't that long really, and I think depending where you live people don't just go knocking on doors in the wee hours, especially if they think something odd or bad may be going on.

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