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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To hate the sleep threads that say...

140 replies

Jennyusedtobepink · 19/09/2008 11:27

'My 5 week/5 month/4 hour old baby won't sleep'. Try 16 fecking months of it.

I do realise most of this is down to me, and probably am BU, but I just had to say it!!!!!

OP posts:

LaVie · 19/09/2008 12:24

What does sleeping through the night actually mean? Because ds is 10 months and usually wakes a couple of times a night when his dummy comes out. This ca

FAQ · 19/09/2008 12:26

YABU - I had a baby who didn't sleep - I mean at all - unless he was attached the breast, or being pushed around in his pram outside.

I couldn't put him down once he'd fallen asleep - he'd wake immidiately and scream, I couldn't come back inside with the pram once he'd falled asleep - he would wake up and scream.

I had literally no respite from him for 6 months, he wouldn't take ebm from a bottle so I couldn't go out, I couldn't put him down, I was tied to a chair (he hated the sling too) - it was sheer torture - and did NOTHING to help with bonding at all as I ended up resenting him.

LaVie · 19/09/2008 12:26

What does sleeping through the night actually mean? Because ds is 10 months and usually wakes a couple of times a night when his dummy comes out. This can mean just putting it back in or a full on crying bout that lasts a good 20 minutes.

Now, compared to how he used to be at night, this to me is sleeping through, I don't expect it to get any better any time soon!

When people say that their 6 week old sleeps through they can't mean that they don't have to get up to them at all do they? Surely they wake to feed?

LaVie · 19/09/2008 12:27

sorry about the half post!

Original poster

Jennyusedtobepink · 19/09/2008 12:30

I'm as clueless as you LaVie - To me, sleeping through the night would involve me lovingly putting dd in her cot at 7pm, and not seeing her again until 7am.

OP posts:

LaVie · 19/09/2008 12:34

Exactly Jenny!

StarlightMcKenzie · 19/09/2008 12:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster

Jennyusedtobepink · 19/09/2008 12:41

LOL - oh Starlight, I do hope she's a revolting toddler/teenager.

OP posts:

rolledhedgehog · 19/09/2008 12:43

My 7 month old wakes up twice a night. The Nanny of one of my son's pals has assured me that if I stop breastfeeding him when he wakes and give him water instead he will 'break the habit' and sleep through.

My instincts and my experience of two other babies tells me he will scream and scream and wake the other two up and still not sleep through. Am I right?

My others did not sleep through until 12 months and almost 2 so why do people keep sodding asking me about his sleeping all the time? Maybe I just look like a knackered bag of crap!

WhyIsItRaining · 19/09/2008 12:46

LaVie (and at the risk of being lynched by others...) my 16 week old goes to bed at 1930 and wakes up around 0700. He doesn't seem to need to feed in that time (he's gaining weight well so I'm not worried). This to me is sleeping through. He's been doing this for two months now.

I'm fully aware that I just got lucky and that this will come back to bite me in the arse at some point. To make it worse, I am currently one of the really annoying ones who has posted a sleep thread asking how to get him to sleep better during the day...

OP, YANBU - I'd feel exactly the same way if I had gone 16 months without a decent nights sleep (and I would have hit the mum who refused to tell me how she got her baby to sleep through).

Running away now....

lispy · 19/09/2008 12:47

According to the book toddler taming about a third of 1-3 year olds wake once or more every night and over half wake at least one night a week.

Original poster

Jennyusedtobepink · 19/09/2008 12:48

WhyIsItRaining - What changed two months ago? Did he just start sleeping through???

[hopeful emotion]

OP posts:

Original poster

Jennyusedtobepink · 19/09/2008 12:48

Oh forget it, I read 16 weeks as 16 months. Ignore me.

OP posts:

Volkl · 19/09/2008 12:52

i try and ignore those threads for fear or smashing up my pc. DS is 2.5yr and still hasnt slept thru

Original poster

Jennyusedtobepink · 19/09/2008 12:55

Sometimes I wish I lived in a big house with loads of other mothers, where we all got up with our LOs in the middle of the night, and ate cheesecake in the manner of the Golden Girls.

Not lay in bed silently pleading with dd to go to sleep whilst dh snores next to me.

OP posts:

nowirehangers · 19/09/2008 12:59

yabu, a bad sleeper is a nightmare for any mother at any age, they're not you, you're not them just don't read their threads
But I still feel for you, my dd1 was a superb sleept, dd2 at 16 months sleeps through but is up every day at around five thirty. It's killing me and sounds like you have it much worse. Good luck

WhyIsItRaining · 19/09/2008 12:59

The best comment I heard was from another mum who, when asked how she got her 3 month old to sleep through, replied 'well I'm just someone who needs a lot of sleep so it was important to me to ensure he did'.

Of course, because those mums whose babies don't sleep, don't need sleep and obviously aren't trying hard enough. Sheesh.

Nemoandthefishes · 19/09/2008 12:59

Also ignore these threads..DS slept through the month before he turned 4..dds 2.9 and 20mths both still dont sleep through and wake independently so am up 2-6 times a night..just glad ds now sleeps as he used to add in his own 2/3 times to that..

Original poster

Jennyusedtobepink · 19/09/2008 13:01

nowirehangers - can't you just go to bed earlier?

OP posts:

LilRedWG · 19/09/2008 13:02

Jenny - I didn't mean you! I do hope that you didn't misunderstand me.

I meant a so-called good friend of ours who actually said those words to us when DD slept through the night from an early age!

FWIW, I do sympathise with you lots and wish I had some sound advice for you.

Original poster

Jennyusedtobepink · 19/09/2008 13:04

I was just being facetious LilRedWG, I didn't misunderstand you at all. I would never say anything like that (although I might think it).

OP posts:

charlotte121 · 19/09/2008 13:07

Havnt read the whole thread but I know how you feel and I doubt its anything you are doing that has caused your dc not to sleep. I have treated my dcs exactly the same. ds still doesnt always sleep through the night and I got my first full nights sleep when he was 10 months old... I was heavily pg at the time with dd.... dd is a little angle and slept through the night from 5 weeks old. Ds is now 14 months old and often reverts back to his sleepless nights pattern and there is nothing I can do to settle him. Im on my own and often think im going to go insane. Hopefully they grow out of it

LilRedWG · 19/09/2008 13:07

Phew - I thought I'd upset you.

beforesunrise · 19/09/2008 13:10

YANBU-they are! dd1 is 2.7 and has slept through maybe 8 times in her life. sleeping through is not the ultimate parenting objective, but some people seem to forget that.

some children sleep- some don't. if you want to be sure you are not going to miss out on your beauty sleep, just dont have'em.

Original poster

Jennyusedtobepink · 19/09/2008 13:11

beforesunrise - LOL. One of dh's childfree friends told me the other day that she can't understand how having dcs is tiring.

Oh, how I laughed.

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