to think that facebook is less about people's desire to keep in touch with friends and more about their desire to feel and be seen as popular?

[wannaBe]

I get friend requests from people I bearly know. People who have just added me because they've added every familliar name on their "friends'" lists.

I have people on my friend list who have over 400 friends. nobody really has that many friends.

So I have come to the conclusion that facebook has more to do with people's need to be popular, and to be seen as being popular, as all their friends can see when someone else wants to be their friend "x and y are now friends".

Oh yes, there are definitely people that use it as a competition for who's got the most friends.

Also it a great way to show off. I have one friend who use's it for this. Every holiday, new car etc is photographed. The status is all 'im off for dinner' 'in going on holiday soon' etc. So stupid.

I've had friend requests from randoms from school who I hardly remember. def used as a way of flaunting popularity.

Also used for smug status updates just to remind the world how well their doing, e.g. "x is sitting in his new pad in central London planning what to take to Thailand" and the like.

they're not their

lol..i think you're right, iv'e never had facebook...no point for me, iv'e only ever met about 3 people in my life that i'd wanna be friends with.

oh yes had forgotten about the status updates. I know someone who put on her's "x is so proud of dd as we have been told she's so clever that she's being put on the gifted and talented register. She's the best in the class." where parents of children who are in this child's class can see it. Competitive parent?

Although sometimes I wonder whether the status updates are to generate response rather than anything else?

WANNABE You have hit the nail on the head about facebook.

People let anybody on to their profile just so they look popular .I have had people from school asking me for the "friend request"I was`nt even at school when they were and have no clue who they are and would not know them if I passed em in the street.

Maybe for some people but I use it to keep in touch with friends and family. And I use the status updates to moan and get sympathy and love nosying at other people's updates.
The people I know with loads of friends are using it to network and alot of their friends are work related.
I love to see people's holiday snaps, don't feel they are showing off, just sharing.

I don't get loads of friend requests but if I did, it would be awkward if I wanted to refuse, must admit.

LOL I have 498 friends on one of my facebook pages but thats for people that I do know and Promoters in London as I go out quite abit so know loads of them now :-0 I did start a new page for people I know friends and Family that has 128 friends on :-/ but I am friends with them all and they all live in Herts whilst I live in London so its could to keep in touch. My status usually say I am in a bad mood work was shit Grrrrrrrr stressed lol

Also can I say I don't add anyone they all add me.

i couldnt agree more

its a farce, the whole thing.
fake and shallow.

2beornot2be U showoff

i think there is competition for number of friends. i add people cos i am a nosey sod and want to look at peoples pics

i have most people on a very limited profile and only close people on my open people. for that i find it is a good way of keeping people up to date with my life. i find it hard to keep in touch with people so it is a great tool for that.

Oh yes wannabe I completely agree with you.

I don't have very many friends on my list(about 45) they are mainly very old friends and family and a sprinkling of people I have met here and that like and that's it.

I get a bit spooked when people I have never heard of try to add me as friends, I ignore

Having said that there is one "friend" of mine who got in contact with me from my school and you should see her friends list- it's like a who's who. Russell Brand, Jaime Oliver, Bob Geldof- and you should see her pictures- forget competitive parents- this woman is another level.

I mentioned it in an e mail once and was very surprised at her answer!

ooh what was her answer? [extremely nosey]

tbh i actually do use it to track down friends and i do ignore alot of friends requests. that is why i have less than 100 and dont care.

LOL Sanctuary I try not show off to much lol. I do have 1000 tagged photos of me on facebook though that are on other peoples profiles so I have to have all these friends to make sure the pictures are not that bad :-/

You're quite right. I still quite like it though.

Am locked in an unspoken battle with my brother to see who's got the most friends. He's winning by 5 at the moment, the big git. But I'm retaining the moral high ground because I never go and seek out friends myself, I just wait for them to come to me.

Completely pointless, I know.

Super it was really lovely, modest and very sweet. She was saying that she'd seen my photos (of the children) and she had said that she would wish her life away,to have kids as gorgeous and as healthy,in a heartbeat.

Her photos back up her friends list BTW (she wasn't a nutty fantasist )and her house has been featured on TV lots. She asked me to pray for her to meet a lovely man who would marry her

Very recently she got engaged to a famous chap's wealthy brother - so maybe she's got her wish

It's like anything - you get out of it what you put in. If you use it to make
ke yourself look popular you will just have hundreds of random strangers on there.

I don't use mine to show off - I've moved around quite a lot and most of mine and DH's family aren't local so for me it's a great way to stay in touch and share photos with people I don't see very often.

aww megglevache, I hope her wishes come true.

People always have their own troubles no matter how perfect their life may seem.

True. Last time she was on TV she got an absolute roasting on here- talk about pitchforks Shame.

I dont understand the difference between being on facebook with 100s of psuedo friends or being on here with the same. Either you enjoy it or you dont.

I did struggle to understand the point of it to start with but quite enjoy it now. Most of my "friends" are family, close friends, people I know from Mumsnet or wives of hubbys friends - he is terrible at keeping in touch with people so it falls to me...fb is a less arduous way of doing it

It just means I can keep in touch with people without it being open to all & sundry and yes I know I could e-mail or phone people but quite honestly I cant be bothered

Sometimes I have looked at friends of friends and thought "oh I know her" but then decided not to add as a friend because I wouldnt consider them one in RL...more of an acquaintance.

Everyones definition of what constitutes a friend is different though isnt it...one of my real friends considers everyone shes ever had a conversation with a friend...I tend to be more cautious and decide whether I actually like people before they become a friend.

megglevache I noseyed at your profile there and your children are scrumptious and those shoes (I love shoes) sigh, gorgeous.

I tend to disagree. I'm 'friends' with people I haven't seen in years - I have no desire to spend time with them or even chat to them very often, but it's still fun to look at their family photos to see what they're up to in their lives.
One of my 'friends' is a 19 year old boy who is the son of one of my friends - he's away at university so it's nice for me to see what he's up to. Under normal circumstances there's no way I'd be in touch with him.
I've got real friend in Australia who I used to phone every couple of months, but now I send little messages if I see they're online at the same time as me. Also I can look at loads of their photos - in the past they'd just pick out one or two to e-mail to me.
The only time I ever put something in my status it's usually something about someone else - eg 'fortyplus is... wanting to send congratulations to x and y on the bith of baby z on tuesday.'

So... I have no need to feel popular but I think FB is great, so there!