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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think that facebook is less about people's desire to keep in touch with friends and more about their desire to feel and be seen as popular?

49 replies

wannaBe · 19/09/2008 09:22

I get friend requests from people I bearly know. People who have just added me because they've added every familliar name on their "friends'" lists.

I have people on my friend list who have over 400 friends. nobody really has that many friends.

So I have come to the conclusion that facebook has more to do with people's need to be popular, and to be seen as being popular, as all their friends can see when someone else wants to be their friend "x and y are now friends".

OP posts:

Guadalupe · 19/09/2008 10:06

It is stupid. I've had friend requests from someone who I think must have been friends with my sister at school, and if I remember correctly she was horrible to her. I've had several from people I don't recognise at all. As for those bloody zombie/flower/have a blessed star from the sky with angel kisses on wank, bleuuurgh.

fortyplus · 19/09/2008 10:07

That's me tending to disagree with the OP, not that megglevache's children are gorgeous! I just spent too long typing1

fortyplus · 19/09/2008 10:08

Oh yes - zombies and attacking people's pants is strictly for the 12 year olds!

SuperSillyus · 19/09/2008 10:12

I have 32 friends which is a good manageable number.
I've got back in touch with some old friends who I am delighted to be back in touch with.
And I can keep up to date on a closer level with some mumsnetters I got to know (Hi Bethoo )
And I like the instant chat and love love loved scrabulous...now getting used to wordscraper

SuperSillyus · 19/09/2008 10:13

And must confess I love throwing sheep at people

fortyplus · 19/09/2008 10:15

My 14 year old son poked his headmistress but she didn't respond

PavlovtheCat · 19/09/2008 10:16

I agree. I have had requests from 'friends' from school who I disliked intently and who most likely felt the same! I have ignored those people.

I have friends on facebook who have like 300 friends!!! People they know from playing poker on facebook, they have become friends, people they once had a drink with in the pub, a friend of a friend of a friend.

People they NEVER even talk to on facebook! I have a measly 31 people on my facebook, and they are all friends or family.

SuperSillyus · 19/09/2008 10:16

beanieb · 19/09/2008 10:18

A work mate of mine determined that she was going to get more 'friends' than me! So she started adding anyone she had passed in work, people she barely knew and even some of my Real life friends! In the end I started deleting some of the people on my 'friends' list that i never speak to to help her reach her goal more quickly.

beanieb · 19/09/2008 10:19

Have to say though - I do have friends on my list who I lost touch with years ago and haven't spoken to properly in years. We moved around a lot and I lost touch with some of my best childhood friends. I add them because I want to make connections again!

fortyplus · 19/09/2008 10:20

I now have 3 mn 'friends' on fb. People I've never met and probably never will. Who cares? It's still fun.

AbbaFan · 19/09/2008 10:20

LOL @ poking the Head Mistress!

fortyplus · 19/09/2008 10:24

I put him up to it!

Told her it would probably be his one chance to do it... she deleted her fb profile shortly afterwards!

VictorianSqualor · 19/09/2008 10:45

I think I have about 100 friends on fb

A few are MNers, some are friends from lower/middle school who I haven't seen for years, but I like to know they are well and happy. A lot are old friends from where I used to live (I moved away quite suddenly two years ago) that I had lost contact with due to a messy break-up.

3 are girls who were all my very best friends at one time or another, and I LOVE that I am now in regular contact with them again.(we all live in different parts of the country now)

Six(?) are my cousins, who I hadn't seen for years as I don't speak to my mother.

I think facebook is great if used 'properly'.

farfaraway · 19/09/2008 12:55

I think a lot of the senders of these friends requests are unaware that FB automatically scans your email address book and sends out a request to all contacts unless you specify for it to not do this. This happened to me and I was mortified that lots of people (work assoc etc) had received a request to be my friend.
You might not be as popular as you think! Just in someones address book .

tiggerlovestobounce · 19/09/2008 13:09

It only scans your address book if you let it, as you have to tell it your password.
You then have to select the people that you want to add.
There used to be a button for adding everyone in your address book, which was very when I did that by accident, but they dont have that now, you have to select and then add.

helpfulornot · 19/09/2008 15:09

Very true, I left school nearly 20 years ago, and this week got a friend request from someone I haven't seen in all that time, and what's more, didn't say one word to her through 5 years of school.

Why would I want to be her friend now????

(one friend of mine has nearly 900 friends!)

LittleOneMum · 19/09/2008 15:53

I think that everyone should follow my rules on Facebook:

(1) do not use your status to show off how much you earn/how wonderful your children are/what you just had for lunch. Try to think of something a bit cooler

(2) say no to all people who request you as a friend whom you hardly know

(3) only post photos your friends might actually want to see.

MrsMattie · 19/09/2008 15:55

I think FB is very strange. Stranger than all those randoms you were never friends with anyway begging popularity are the status updates. People just boast like bastards on those things. Cringey.

pippylongstockings · 19/09/2008 16:14

I agree I don't 'get' FB atall........... just does not compute into my world.

You either are friend so pick up the phone and speak to them. Or your not.

A guy at work is off ill at the moment and one of his work colleuges knew he wouldn't be in before his boss because he had put it on FB ??!!

2beornot2be · 19/09/2008 16:21

Facebook is great you can really find people that you lost touch with and get back into contact with them I was in Army cadets when I was younger and i lost touch with so many friends when I moved I know have been in contact with alot of them I have a myspace which is much worse than facebook I have 1764 friends on myspace I dont even use it anymore.

2 of my friends that were in So solid crew have got 3 facebook pages thats how many requests they get people add them just cus they use to be famous but there mistake is they dont have a personal one so there RL friends look like groupies lol

wonderstuff · 19/09/2008 16:25

i love fb, allows me to be nosey and see peoples photos. i hate the new format though

2beornot2be · 19/09/2008 16:25

The only application I use on facebook is top friends thats only because me and my friend have a comp to see how many people add us as top friends on one page I am currently winning 154 people on facebook have me as there top friend even people I dont chat to I think its cus my profile pic is HOT!

2beornot2be · 19/09/2008 16:26

Wonderstuff the new format sucks but this is not the first time its changed I remember when facebook first started no one was on it and you could on poke message and wall post or add pictures

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