to NOT want my DC to go to lots of after school activities?

[leogirl]

clinging mother or reasonable?!? I just don't fully understand why there is so much pressure on children going to this and that after school activity. And before everyone starts posting about the social side of it etc, I do get that - but surely even one activity is enough? what do other people's children do?

After school clubs have not started up yet though. The football one is run by the local football club community programme. I will give DS the choice on that.

Gateau - yes, mine are chalk and cheese

and strangely, all my friends with 2 daughters have a shy firstborn and a confident 2nd

yanbu...9.00 till 3.00 is usually enough for any child...different when the child is in yr 5 or 6 (age 9 +) but for younger children it's just too much.

and as for these parents that have a 5/6 yr old doing something everynight after school.... ??

She sells.

She is too young for individual singing lessons. Don't let anyoine tell you otherwise. A good quality group lesson/music class fine.

Dh is a singing teacher, there are loads of reasons why sinign lessons on a 1-1 basis is not good with very young children. Age about 10 is the best age to start.

My dds do lots of after school activities. I never intended them to, they asked to try things their friends were doing and love going to them. Our weeknights are busy!

Monday - Swimming DD1 and DD2
Tuesday - free at the moment but choir starts after school after half term and tennis is in the summer term
Wednesday - Rainbows DD2
Thursday - Violin DD2
Friday - Irish Dancing DD1 and DD2 and Brownies DD1
Saturday - Ballet/modern/tap DD2

Plus the odd playdate and party thrown in for good measure. Thank goodness DD1's clarinet lessons are in school or we would never fit it all in.

My girls love the activities and I would not waste time and money going to them if they did not want to do it.

multitasker - I was really worried about how he would be, learning from me, but he was DESPERATE to learn, so about 15 months ago I said he could start, BUT he had to agree to do what I said, and to practise every day.

Mostly we've got on fine - had a few 'moments', but he is doing really well, and generally I find him easier to teach than lots of my other pupils as he picks things up very quickly. We were going to do Grade 1 this term, but as he is also doing Grade 1 violin, we are going to leave the piano exam and move on to Grade 2 fairly soon.

Things that I think you have to do - you HAVE to have the practice expectation - I said to both ds1 and dd that if they do an instrument they must practise every day, and to give them credit they are very good - ds1 does about 30 mins piano and 15-20 mins violin every day. Dd does about 10 mins cello each day (but she has only just started).

You also have to create a 'teacher' relationship with them - with ds1 it's easy, as I have my 'music room', so when we're in there it becomes a 'teaching room' a bit like a classroom. Otherwise they can get confused with the 'mum/teacher relationship'.

i do think they die down when they are teenagers, well my ds (the only teenager in my house) just restarted rugby - scouts/explorers the only other thing.
or perhaps teenage girls are different?

Should add, ds1 was 6 when he started, which I think for piano is soon enough - for both hand size and concentration. He is now 7, and finding it easier to have a good hand position, because his hand is that much bigger.

islandofsodor, i think that is what the music school im looking at are trying to arrange. a childrens group lesson but they cant get enough interest. she has had her name down there for ages and they are meant to be calling when they start one up but never have.

my sister goes to the same singing school and they dont have enough children yet. i think they said at her age it would be mainly the instrumet she learns and just bits of singing.

she wants to learn 'geetar' or the guitar to you and me would she be old enough for that? the music school appear to think so.

ha. dc1 would be very cross with me if I told him he wasn't allowed to do his 4 after school clubs and his football any more.

Interfere with home work, well, doesn't have that much, reading he does for pleasure in between/at bed time.

He still has plenty of time to watch tv/play computer games, run in the park.

Also, because of my work they are used to staying away from home till 7pm...

dc2 is different though, more a stay-at home child. Gets tired quicker.

I also like to have some "1-to-1 time with each of my children, if they are both around dc1 gets a bit "overwhelming"

riven - I was very fed up when ds1 and dd were doing gymnastics on different nights, and i had to get to the OTHER side of Bristol in rush hour, twice. But now they are in the same group it is MUCH easier. and the rest of their activities are either at school or walkable. Ds1's Saturday orchestra we do a rota of lifts.

i get very fed up with it riven especially as with dd1 it is nearly every night. but i was never allowed to do any after school activities as a child because my mum didnt 'believe in them' and can remember how left out i felt when all my friends were off doing dance classes/horse riding/tennis lessons etc. which is why i allow dd1 to choose her own activities.

she isnt pushed and the has the choice whether to go or not. but there is no not wanting to go now that she has gone back to dancing as she realises that leaving has left her behind her friends and she has lost her place in the comp classes.

Riven, well, most shopping is done on-line but do bits of shopping when they are doing their things. And as mentioned, gives me chance to chat a bit with only 1 child. If both are together they end up shouting/arguing with each other. It is also the only time dc2 gets to play computer games without dc1 interfering (even if told to stay in another room)

That's fine. I ahve taught group singing at that age. It's mostly fun games and excersies and action songs. 1-1 is a totaly different ball game.

Not a guitar expert. Main thing I guess is handling the instrument and understanding the notes etc. Woodwind shouldn;t be started before 2nd set of teeth (except recorder) and I generally think children should be able to read first before tackling notation though I know very young children are taught via Suzuki but I don't have any experience of that..

My dd's are quite busy with after school activities. dd1 does brownies, dancing and swimming and dd2 does dancing and swimming. The dancing lessons are 3 times a week.

dd1 only has wednesday and fridays where she doesn't have activities and she often asks if she can do some activity or other on those days. Both my dd's enjoy the activities they do, I don't mind whether they do the activities or not and always ask if they want to continue before paying the fees for the term.

The activities have helped dd2 to gain confidence as she is naturally quite shy and I think children need to be doing some exercise each day, although agree that doesn't have to be an organised activity.

Unless someone has only one child, I really can't fathom how children can do after school activities every night without it compromising other areas of their home life.

What about the other children being rushed around in a car all night? how can they be eating decent food every night (I've yet to find more than a tiny handful of nutritious meals that can be prepared really quickly)? what about homework/reading, what about time with their parents/siblings and relaxation for goodness sake?

One of my mummy 'friends' (I use the word loosely) is of the bragging variety and takes such enormous pleasure in telling me what her children get up to each night. Poor buggers.

Ds1 is 5, and did irish dancing last year at school, but this year he wanted to do the singing club but to his disappointment it's for YR2 plus rather than YR1 like last year.

He says he really wants something do where he can learn something but not sport, very insistant on that! So when he turns 6, we shall check out Beavers.

Both dh and I feel he doesn't need lots of after school activities, (I do feel for children who have pushy parents, but also the cost, I am not made of money,( but that he should be encouraged to do something where he mixes with other children and has some fun.