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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

If someone said they were going to pop round 'after 6', how long 'after 6' would you deem is acceptable and how late would they have to be to be downright rude?

34 replies

ghosty · 14/09/2008 10:54

It is 7.51pm and we are still waiting.
The person in question was coming round after 6 for a cuppa. We have postponed cooking dinner and now it is nearly 8 and DH is starving and I am now a bit pissed as I have had two glasses of wine on an empty stomach (my friend doesn't drink).
Is she being rude? Or is 'after 6' just that, 'after 6', and I could still be waiting at 11?

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SoupDragon · 14/09/2008 10:55

I would have expected them before 7 tbh.

Frizbe · 14/09/2008 10:55

I'd expect that person within the half hour, if it was after 6, hour max, or it'd be after 7 right?

WideWebWitch · 14/09/2008 10:57

I'd have expected before 7 tbh
Eat anyway!

Blu · 14/09/2008 10:57

Oh, get on with your dinner - they would be throroughly inreasonable to be surprised that you were having dinner when they arrived.
It sounds casual, so it's casual enough fo you to at while they have a cuppa!

DorrisMcWhirter · 14/09/2008 10:58

After 6 means between 6 and 6.45 (precise I know!) IMO. 7 at the latest. ANytime after that warrents being after 7.
Maybe not being rude as such, but certainly not thinking!
When did she turn up? {totally nosey emoticon}

TrinityRhino · 14/09/2008 10:59

I wouldn't have waited to eat
they said they would be round at a time when you would obviously be doing other things

maybe they meant they dont finish work till 6 so it would be way after??
dunno

but if my mate had said this to me I would have thought before 7

DorrisMcWhirter · 14/09/2008 10:59

Durrrr. Sorry, just noted the time of your post!!

MrsFluffleHasAWuffle · 14/09/2008 11:00

within the hour I would have said. It's a hate of mine too, why people cannot commit to an actual time and then stick to it, I don't know...

ghosty · 14/09/2008 11:07

Hmmmm ... it is now 8.06 and she still isn't here.
Hmmmm ...

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ghosty · 14/09/2008 11:08

Going ahead with dinner so no probs there but DH and I thought we would feed the kids early then wait until my friend came round and then eat at around 8.30 in front of a movie or something.
Sigh.
I'll ring her.

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compo · 14/09/2008 11:09

I would text her to ask where she is and if she'd like to join you for dinner
tbh it sounds like she's not coming
How rude though!

LazyLinePainterJane · 14/09/2008 11:19

between 6 and 7, 7 onwards is "after 7"....yes?

ghosty · 14/09/2008 11:24

I tried to ring and no answer on her mobile. I am worried something my have happened to her [worried]. Or she is on her way of course, and hasn't picked up the phone as she is driving.

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paddingtonbear1 · 14/09/2008 11:33

when my friends and I meet at each others houses on a sunday, we say 'after 3'. What we really mean is between 3 and 4 - if we're going to be later than that we'd send a text.
has she turned up yet?

MuffinMclay · 14/09/2008 11:37

To me 'after 6' means between 6 and 6.30/6.45. Otherwise I'd call it 'about 7ish', or 'after 7' (or 8, or 9..). Sounds incredibly rude, but perhaps there's an innocent explanation (car problem, phone problem).

imananny · 14/09/2008 11:41

agree after 6 means 6 till about 6.45 or you would say 7

it is bloody rude of your friend,esp as she knows you have children so much later you would be sorting out bath/bed routine

I personally wouldnt have delayed dinner

did she ever turn up and at waht time?

If she coudnt have made it or was delayed a simple text/call would have been polite!!

ghosty · 14/09/2008 12:40

Well, I phoned her home at 9pm and her husband said she had gone to bed at 5 as she wasn't well - so there is a good reason she didn't come.... but why did she ring me at 4 and say she was coming 'after 6' then go to bed at 5 without ringing me to say she had changed her mind? V. Strange.

I don't know her hugely well and this is still quite a fledgeling friendship.

I shall proceed with caution

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ilovemydog · 14/09/2008 12:43

You are toooo nice!

Spink · 14/09/2008 12:58

maaybe she suddenly felt sick or a headache came on, or period pains hit or something. A bit odd, but sometimes feeling bad can come on quickly, and she just may've needed to take to her bed. I've done something similar before where I've thought "I'll just lie down for 10 mins and rest before I go out" and woken up 14 hours later....

babyignoramus · 14/09/2008 15:26

6.05. But I'm anal.

jawjawnotwarwar · 14/09/2008 15:37

She should have texted if she was going to be that late. Sounds like she's having a bad day.

cwtchy · 14/09/2008 22:59

Last week my friend said she would be calling in between 1-1.30. She turned up at 10 am the next morning! Now I am not the world's greatest timekeeper but that was late even by my standards

Cadmum · 15/09/2008 09:29

I would proceed with caution...

We were expecting new friends for dinner a few months ago and by the time they were over an hour late I rang her to find out if they were OK.

Her reply floored me: They had been invited round to other friends after church. Her children were well ensconced and she didn't want to interrupt their play-date...

I haven't heard from her since. I suspect that she felt embarrassed but whatever the reason it is slightly .

Sometimes it is better to find out early on...

ghosty · 15/09/2008 09:33

Cadmum ! That's awful ...

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ghosty · 15/09/2008 09:38

I got a text this morning: "Hi 'ghosty', I am so sorry bout last nite I am so unwell going to the doctors now, and i was going to call u but after a few panadols i didnt wake up til one this morning. i am so sorry again and i will talk to u soon"

I replied that I was sorry she was ill, that I had been worried and I hoped it was nothing serious and that she felt better soon.

Still a bit odd though ... Especially after she phoned at 4 to say she was coming after 6. But ho hum, like I say, I will proceed with caution.

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