To want MIL to lock the dog in the kitchen when she visits (dog lovers, it isn't what you think!)

[ChirpyGirl]

PIL's are visiting with their lapdog, it's a toy breed (that doesn't shed, thank god)who is not trained and has always been a bit yappy. (and HATES me!)
She is very old and incontinent. Last time they were here she weed on my carpet at least once a day. Downstairs is 2 rooms, living/dining/playroom all open plan and ktichen, which has gate to lock children out.
They have been here 3 days, I have been at work for 2 of those days and they don't stay overnight here, and yet, in the small time I have been in teh house with them the dog has weed on kitchen floor twice, carpet in living room twice and I came home to poo on the carpet earlier.
DD1 is 2.7, DD2 is 11 months and very mobile. No-one spotted the poo until I pointed it out.

Now she is old, and is used to sitting on MIL's lap or climbing all over the sofa(on my sofa..which annoys me hugely, but no-one ever asked if it was okay years ago so can't say much now...) but I want to put a blanket or something in the kitchen and leave her in there locked behind the stairgate so if she does go on teh carpet I don't have to corral children to other end of room while someone clears it up.

Now, AIBU? Cos I know MIL won't want to do this, she will say that she is ill, or will miss her or sob sob whatever. DH is no help as he will just clean it up and think that's it, plus it is his dog too, so he makes the same excuses..she's old, it's not ehr fault...but why shoudl my children suffer, and my house smell so bad!

How can I best suggest this? Can't ban dog altogether as that means IL's don't come. They only visit for week at a time every month or so. Plus dog is not likely to last 6 more months so don't want to start massive fight but am LOSING MY MIND

Advice/help/comments welcome!

This dog, for all intents and purposes, is not housetrained.

Would you take off the diaper of your unpotty trained child and invite yourself around to all and sundry?

"Can't ban dog altogether as that means IL's don't come." sounds like a perfect solution all round to me, .

Seriously though, that would piss me right off (excuse the pun).

I would have the conversation along these lines though...

"you know, the dog is obviously struggling to contain herself, and it's really not fair on her to have her doing her business all over the house, maybe she would be better off in the kitchen where she at least will have a bit more dignity than to be just going any old where where people might get cross with her or startle her as they rush to clear up before the kids step in/touch it. We wouldn't want to upset her really would we? esp given she's so old. Excellent, so we'll put her in the kitchen, and obviously she can see us through the gate, and if she has an accident then it's no problem to clear it up" .

i'd go with wannabe's suggestion, except i'd delete the 'maybe'. nope.

people like your MIL are like dealing with little kids, you don't give them a choice in some things.

she goes in the kitchen, you put it nicely.

MIL gets cross she can meet you elsewhere - in her room at the guesthouse, for example.

I have a lovely rescue dog, who was assessed before arrival of DS, but is snappy if cornered, fallen on, run over by ride on toys. He meets everyone, but goes in the kitchen while children play, in case of accident (child falling on him)

PIL bring their dog, the dogs are loose with ds, but only since DS reached an age where he can be watched and stopped from causing a problem - never ever left alone with a or the dogs.

Incontinence would be awful. Kitchen for definate. I love dogs. Pehaps you could put a comfy chair in the kitchen fo MIL!

no YANBU.
I am a dog lover, but I would not tolerate accidents all over my carpet - even if it was because the dog was old, and especially if I had young children who were crawling.
I would shut it behind the stairgate - no matter how much your PIL's complain.
They are in YOUR house, and should listen to your concerns regarding your children.

THanks for support guys.
I need to apologise to my DH too, he was out when I was posting last night, and when he got back he announced that he is going to have to tell his mum to keep her in the kitchen as it is not on, so problem solved, she's his mum, he can tell her

I don't want to tell MIL she can't visit, they are her PFB GD's (she has step GS's) and they love her,, plus we normally get on really well, if the dog could just stay in the ktichen that would be perfect.

Wish me luck for today!

Good Luck Chirpy! Let us know what your MIL says!!

Good luck! Great that your DH is going to deal with this. I would not want to deal with a dog weeing etc all over my house for one week of every month, and I like dogs.

Good luck! I'm glad your DH is going to handle it Chirpy, let us know how it goes.

I love dogs, but YANBU. It is disgusting. I could not cope with dog poo and wee all over my house. Yuk

i am sure you can buy diapers for incontinant dogs.
sorry but youi should say something, they are the dog owners therefore responsible for what it does. at least tell her where th dog has fowled and if she thinks it is ok then surely she should know where the mop and bucket is?

for the kitchen you can also buy little disposable mats whci hencourage the dog to wee on them, they are designed for puppies nad older dogs.

if you put them all over the kitchen should be ok surely?

cheaper i suppose butthen you may end up with print on your floor which is a nightmare to get out!
i am sure you dh will sort something out diplomatically anyway.

An incontinent dog and young children do not mix. Stand by your guns and tell your PIL that it's not on.

even if you just wanted to lock the dog in the kitchen because you hate dogs yanbu.
your house, your rules

YANBU
I would be fuming.

I hate the way people bring their dogs to visit.

MiL sometimes brings her dog and will say 'oh, the dog is in the car' and I feel obliged to say 'don't leave him out there, bring him on' partly because I know otherwise they won't stay long and it drives me bananas.

I don't take my cats to visit fgs. I certainly wouldn't take any pet to someone's house and allow it to shit anywhere.

I have four kittens at the moment and because they aren't the cleanest of pets (only a few weeks old and like to play in their won shit) they aren't allowed to roam my house, they stay mostly in the kitchen unless they are out being played with so I can see they aren't fouling up my house (carpet everywhere else) and have a large dog cage for when I need to have doors etc open.

'MiL sometimes brings her dog and will say 'oh, the dog is in the car' and I feel obliged to say 'don't leave him out there, bring him on' partly because I know otherwise they won't stay long and it drives me bananas.'

Seriously?

Why feel obligated?

They chose to bring the poor dog.

If someone did that I'd just say, 'Well, I'll go and put the kettle on as it's a flying visit.'

That's so damn rude to do that just expecting people want their stinking dog in their house.

Cuz I don't.

My ILs tried that once and I fecking can't stand their whiffy dogs so they learned really quick that they're not welcome here.

I dunno, I just do Possibly because I know the kids and DP love to see them so when they are only here for a few minutes I know they get disappointed, also they drive about 30 miles to come see us.

They are always going on about the bloody dog tbh, can't stay long because of the dog being at home alone, or the dog is in the car.

It's a bone of contention between MiL&FiL actually, if they bring him in he'll be on the lead and they start bickering over it.

put it out in the garden then and give it food and water.

or take it a walk as an excuse to get out of the house whilst they visit so it's not in your house.

if they want to cut short their visit because of their damn dog that's their lookout.

TBF, MiL does normally take the dog and the kids off for a walk so I can't really complain.
If I didn't suggest that she brought it in it would stay in the car, It's just me being a prat, lol.

well, i'm a prat, because i'd rather have it in the car than in my home.

wouldn't bother me a jot and if they cut short their visit because of it well that's their bad and looks that way as well.

seriously, that's just rude to bring a dog and expect the person you're visiting to have it foisted on themselves and their house.