To bit a bit peeved about dh going out on saturday?

[mosschops30]

I have a feeling I might be ABU but friend says ANBU.

I graduate on FRiday from Uni, having a few drinks with friends in our uni club then home.
I had asked dh to plan something for the saturday, maybe a night away somewhere. He moaned about money and said it would have to be somewhere cheap which was fine I just thought it would be nice.
Anyway have not been able to get a sitter for dcs' and now he's just phoned and said:

'x just rung and asked if I wanna go to the rugby saturday then out for drinks, you dont mind do you'???

well yes I do, despite us not being able to get a sitter I thought maybe a graduation might have warranted a meal out, even if we take the dcs

So AIBU?

No, it would p me off big time too.

YANBU. Either he's very insensitive or just being a typical bloke - ie he didn't think. You know him.

YANBU.

I'd have replied with 'Yes, I do mind, Saturday is my day, Surely you haven't forgotten?'

no you ANBU, a night away would have been cheaper than a rugby trip followed by drinks with the lads, if my DH is anything to go by. If his only excuse not to plan something was cost then he should be going nowhere.

HE is BU

I would be pissed off.

YANBU, it's very thoughtless of him. Enjoy your day on friday and congratulations.
What are you graduating in?

I agree with VS - this happened to me a few months ago when DP had been away for work and when I spoke to him as I was rushing home to see him when he came back, he told me he'd agreed to go for a drink with a friend. i was livid. sadly, the conversation didn't go that well, but... he did come to accept what I'd said and apologised. I just wish I'd been calmer at the time.

I wouldnt be pissed off that he was was making plans to go out with pals in any normal circumstance- but I would be if he was making these plans for the weekend that I finally graduate from what will have been the hardest 3 years of my life.

say NO! Mossy!

It wasnt just the money, although he did mention it. In his defence is night out will not be as expensive as a nite away. But yes, I would have expected him to say no and maybe take us out for a meal, or even just order a takeaway.

I think his argument is that, if we cant both go out, then whats wrong with one of us going out when invited

hey strawb, I dont know if theyre going up online. Im going in anyway then having a couple of drinks over the social. I start work on Monday, am shitting myself, how about you when do you start?

he said 'i wont go if youre gonna be in a mood about it'!
But then hung up when I mentioned the money thing (always the same, moans about what a hard month it will be then splashes out on nights out or aftershave)

So even though we cant go away, do you still think he should stay in with me?

I said 'but saturday was supposed to be a special night, because I graduate on friday'

yes, he should stay in with you. Not because of the money, but because you had planned a celebration - even if that is just a takeaway at home and a handmade card from DCs.

Ruby, im having dejavu about us having a similar conversation before where you persuade me to do something cant remember what though.
But yes I like your style, I might txt that too him now as he probably wont pick up

yes well sall you know how 'supportive' he has been over the last 3 years. In fact a few weeks ago he told me that my degree had been harder on him and all I'd been doing was fannying round in college

Maybe I should slice his penis off and keep it in a jar

"I think his argument is that, if we cant both go out, then whats wrong with one of us going out when invited"

Huh ??

You can both go out - albeit with the kids - maybe for a pizza or some such, in a "isn't mummy clever" type celebration surely to God ??

He's being a selfish twat, because it strikes me he's deliberately playing down your achievement and seizing upon any old excuse to avoid admitting you've done well.

What rubyrioja said

oh catsmother youve really hit the nail on the head!
He has continuously played down my dgree as if its nothing, he just wants to see the money when I start.
He thinks he's carried me through the 3 years and I know its been hard but I have still paid everything I did before i started, half the mortgage, council tax etc.

strawb I think its gonna be a 2:1 but you never know do you until its in black and white. What about you?