to be so cross at friend who thinks i have it 'easy' Because I go to work!

[memoo]

She is a SAHM with 3 DC 2, 5 and 7.

My DC are 7 and 9

I was complaining a little bit today about having to go back to work after long summer hols (I work in a school) She said that I should be grateful that I get to get away from the children each day, that its harder for her because she is "stuck at home with the kids all day"

I don't doubt that its hard for her. I too was a sahm until my youngest went to school but I think its really unfair for her to say I have it easy! I still have to do all the housework stuff when I get in from work.

I just hate the way people judge, how can one person say that someone else has it easier than them. I work bloody hard! as i'm sure everyone else with kids does too.

Maybe she was just having a bad day but for some reason I am really cross with her.

I have to taKE my childrem to work with me and then publicly flail them. I win.

Yup. It's a tough old life

(haven't read whole thread so apols if conv has moved on without me!)

I do both, plus, like you, I do all the housework, cooking, etc etc. I never, ever get to bed before midnight. It's bloody hard work balancing it all. You are not being unreasonable. Your friend is.

yabu
Now get to work

Hang on a minute. Surely being a SAHM to 7 and 9 year olds would be easier than being a teaching assistant. If the OP was a SAHM she would have all the hours the children are at school to herself to do the chores, participate in hobbies etc. Whereas she is working all those hours and everything else is fitted in around that. Obviously having pre-schoolers alters the balance somewhat but that is not the case for the OP.

sorry see twinklemegan has made the point already.

I think that being at home with three children of that age would be pretty hard

Depends on the person. I would find being a sahm impossibly hard for various reasons, but i have friends who could never do what I do. Think the ones who must have it easy are sahms with school-aged children, but must be lonely and depressing at times so perhaps hard in a different way.

pointydog - oneupmanship is really not becoming in a Laydee

I just keep imagining the convo.
laidback mum of older kids: 'I'm a bit sad about the holidays ending and going back to work. Wish I could stay at home like you.' (feeling a bit fed up)
frazzled mum of three smaller ones: 'God, you're lucky! Nice quiet work, eh? Even when the big ones go back, I'm going to be stuck here with this monster and not a minute to myself! You have it easy love!' (feeling frazzled and thinking a bit of humour and mutual moaning might even make Laidback Mum feel better about going to work)
Massive offence taken!

Yeah but "nice quiet work" as a TA??

Yeah but "nice quiet work" as a TA??

She shouldn't have said it - it sounds bitter. Did you asked her if she has worked and has experience of combining both?
AM trying to weigh up which is the easier choice:

If I was a SAHM and didn't have to do any housework and could focus all my time on DS, I would say SAH was easier than working.
But with all the bloody housework you have to do, as well as looking after an active toddler who is into everything, you could say SAHM was harder.
Having said that, on my days off I have to work doubly hard to catch up on all the housework I haven't done while at work - so maybe, one the whole, WOH is harder.
AS you have deduced by now, it's the housework I hate. If I could just spend all my time having fun with DS , particularly outside, I would really love that. And in that case, SAH would be easier - for me.

If staying at home was easier. don't you think men would have organised the world so they were the ones that stayed at home while we went out to work?

My dh is a SAHD and his life is waaay harder than mine. And I do all the cooking and my share of the housework! Even on my worst days at work, I'm glad that I have children and work and home - not just children and home.

Are you sure she wasn't just being playful? - not sure why you've been stung by it.

Meant to add, OP; being a teacher - I would think - is far from easy!!! When in the class, you have to be switched on ALL the time. SO your friend is talking bollocks, I think.

Did she actually say you have it easier or did she just say you're lucky to have time away from the kids because I think the two are actually different? For instance I love it when my DH takes dd up to his parents for the day because it means I can get a lot done in the house and do all the shopping in peace. I don't actually enjoy doing those things per se but being able to do them all in peace without keeping one eye on a child/make inanane conversation ALL THE TIME/sing ALL THE TIME is absolute bliss.

But like everyone says, it all depends on a person's job, the chores they have to do at home etc. as to whether they would find it easier as a SAHM.

Must say, everyone I know who works FT (not many) think being a SAHM sounds bliss whilst those who work PT say they could not bear to be home all day everyday and admire me for doing it (actually I think PT WOHMs seem to be the happiest people).

I agree MAnictigger

I have done all three combos (SAHM, WOHM and PT WOHM) and working PT was the best combo in terms of stress, tiredness etc

as the stresses are so different that you can get over the monotony of housework and children screaming to the boredom of dealing with emails / work stuff

I think though being a SAHM is much more stressful as you have no break all day whereas in most jobs you can grab 5 minutes here and there