AIBU to think we shouldn't pay for my SIL and her 2 friends to go away for the weekend with us?

[Bonifacio]

My SIL and her friends are coming to stay with us in a few months as they will be passing by whilst they are on there world tour backpacking trip.

So I said to DP last night, shall I email them and see if they want to / can afford to take a trip out to one of the islands here so we could do some scuba diving etc. So DP says "no, we would be paying for it"

I just don't understand why we would pay for his sister and her two friends (who we don't even know) to go away for the weekend. His sister fine we could pay for her but her friends too??

AIBU to think we souldn't pay for them and its perfectly acceptable to ask them if they can afford it and if they can't then none of us will go?

Oh I didn't realise that she'd invited herself to stay. In those circumstances, I wouldn't expect to foot all bills, especially as she isn't coming alone. I would certainly provide all meals at home, but expect some contribution if eating out.

When you first posted, I assumed she was a youngster backpacking in her gap year or similar. This is quite different. I still think that, if you propose an expensive trip and can afford to pay for everyone, it would be a fantastically generous offer and lovely of you to do that. At the end of the day, though, it's really your dp's call, isn't it?

I would feel a bit odd about emailing and asking them to pay but would feel VERY odd if someone had to pay for me to go on a trip.

Think you should email and suggest trip and set out prices etc and gentle "is this something you would like to/can afford to do?". Bizarre if you had to pay. Really rude of SIL especially at 28 and extraordinary if the total strangers didnt pull their weight..

Well she just assumed she would be invited, which obviously she would have been and I'm really excited about having her here (unless I get a BFP by then in which case having the worlds biggest drinker here won't be the most fun!! Especially trying to explain why I am not drinking!! )

Obviously all food we eat in the house will be provided for. I have looked and haggled about the trip and can get it for about $160 each which isn';t too bad!

She's either 26 or 28 I can never remember which!!

At the start I was going to say that it would be a lovey thing for you to do to take them all on the trip and give them such a great experience; when you're backpacking you have very little money and can't afford to do trips like the one you're planning....but....

she's 28 FFS! If she was 18 or so, then it's different. But she's a grown woman, and it is weird that she expects big bro to pay for her - I know she didn't know about his plans, and will likely be thrilled, but if I was one of her friends I would be very uncomfortable with this being paid for by folk I'd never met before. Maybe you'll find that the friends offer to pay their own way. I certainly would. To me it's a bonus to stay anywhere but a hostel, never mind free scuba diving trips thrown in!

We live abroad too, and whenever family come to stay with us we love it - the fridge is always stocked, plenty of booze in, trips arranged etc - but our guests always contribute in some way - whether it's paying for lunch or dinner, making some of the meals, getting some of the shopping in etc. We recently had my SIL (same age as me, about) and her dh and my DN over - we took them away for the weekend (which was admittedly very inexpensive, but still) - they paid their share without discussion - it wasn't even an issue.

At the start I was going to say that it would be a lovey thing for you to do to take them all on the trip and give them such a great experience; when you're backpacking you have very little money and can't afford to do trips like the one you're planning....but....

she's 28 FFS! If she was 18 or so, then it's different. But she's a grown woman, and it is weird that she expects big bro to pay for her - I know she didn't know about his plans, and will likely be thrilled, but if I was one of her friends I would be very uncomfortable with this being paid for by folk I'd never met before. Maybe you'll find that the friends offer to pay their own way. I certainly would. To me it's a bonus to stay anywhere but a hostel, never mind free scuba diving trips thrown in!

We live abroad too, and whenever family come to stay with us we love it - the fridge is always stocked, plenty of booze in, trips arranged etc - but our guests always contribute in some way - whether it's paying for lunch or dinner, making some of the meals, getting some of the shopping in etc. We recently had my SIL (same age as me, about) and her dh and my DN over - we took them away for the weekend (which was admittedly very inexpensive, but still) - they paid their share without discussion - it wasn't even an issue.

At the start I was going to say that it would be a lovey thing for you to do to take them all on the trip and give them such a great experience; when you're backpacking you have very little money and can't afford to do trips like the one you're planning....but....

she's 28 FFS! If she was 18 or so, then it's different. But she's a grown woman, and it is weird that she expects big bro to pay for her - I know she didn't know about his plans, and will likely be thrilled, but if I was one of her friends I would be very uncomfortable with this being paid for by folk I'd never met before. Maybe you'll find that the friends offer to pay their own way. I certainly would. To me it's a bonus to stay anywhere but a hostel, never mind free scuba diving trips thrown in!

We live abroad too, and whenever family come to stay with us we love it - the fridge is always stocked, plenty of booze in, trips arranged etc - but our guests always contribute in some way - whether it's paying for lunch or dinner, making some of the meals, getting some of the shopping in etc. We recently had my SIL (same age as me, about) and her dh and my DN over - we took them away for the weekend (which was admittedly very inexpensive, but still) - they paid their share without discussion - it wasn't even an issue.