to think that IVF woman suing ought to be b***** grateful?

[intolerant]

In the news today. She claims that the health trust took an unnecessarily long time to ascertain that the fertility problem was with her DH, by which time her own eggs were too old. She was therefore given donated eggs, and is now pregnant with a baby boy. So, if she wins her case, and her health trust pays out, how many other women will be denied IVF treatment at all due to lack of funds.

I think the response to this article would be different if they had not had the resources to seek treatment abroad
if the article had been waited 6 years and now cannot have a baby at all people would be more sympathetic

That's interesting mp. Rest of the point still stands though.

I'm having one of those days where I'm very fed up by the bashing of other women on MN.

Not really, SM, because her outcome is going to be very different from someone with a terminal illness. She's got the baby she's longed for - or a abay, anyway, even if it sseems she's got doubts about the lack of a genetic bond.

I wa advised to sue the NHS because they botched my section.

It never crossed my mind too as even though some staff were negligent when not listening to me when I had problems, ultimately the NHS saved my baby and that is far more important than the problems I have been left with.

Any complaint I might have brought would have been to suggest they listen to mums when they say XYZ is happening and not walk off saying "don't be so stupid."

But surely if you are a reasonable person you would start raising concerns and be proactive if you feel you are not getting the treatment or attention you think you are entitled to? 6 years ??

Surely, the other side to this is not so much what should have happened, but also some blame/questions should be raised to see what reasonable steps were taken by the couple??

Great! Less money for essential services because people expect to be financially compensated for everything.

But presumably that will happen during any enquiry.

I don't understand the point of suing unless it's to cover costs - eg if the NHS is negligent and causes you to lose a limb, you should be entitled to renumeration for the loss of earnings, cost of specialist equipment etc., but to sue because you feel put out and want some compo - that just seems so shallow.

It does sound as if there may well have been failures in the system and I see her point that it is really unfortunate that the infertility prob lay with her husband but he is the one getting a blood related child.

I think it's unfortunate she's gone to the media though. I think she might have made a different choice when her child is here. I know I could never in a million years have said those things about being 'devastated' etc about my own ds, in this situation. she may think very very differently and that might be a real upset for her a little way down the line.

I also don't like the terminology of them 'being forced' to re-mortgage their house. It's a choice. DH and I sold our house to downsize when ds was born otherwise we couldn't have managed financially but I wouldn't go round saying "I have been forced to sell my house" it was a choice we made.

Sign of our times. To have the right to be conmpensated regardless of any knock-on effects. It's grim.

Just re-read the article. Quite a few of her quotes (assuming they're accurate) don't rest easy with me, actually. Not least wanting a fair-haired, blue-eyed baby instead of a more Mediterranean one. Just sounds like a shopping spree...........

IMHO I am not massively pro IVF on the NHS anyway. This maybe a bit contentious but FOR ME the NHS is there to save lives, to offer a system that can help as many people as possible and IVF is not the best us eof resource in my book.

Perhaps that is not fair, but I really feel too much money is spent on IVF which could be diverted to help people who are really ill. I mean my mum is ill, she has terminal cancer, there is a drug that could prolong her life but only available privately. IF she chooses this route and has this drug the NHS will not treat her cancer at all!! To me that is crap, it is a cop out.

So my question to this stupid bint who is now sueing the NHS is why does she feel she has the right to a baby at all???

I think you will find intolerant that any private donor programme will offer you donors who have similar characteristics to you

And yes, IVF is expensive. Many people complain about the costs. But actually having the child costs many thousands more, over the years. I'm willing to be shot down corrected for this but surely, if you can't afford the initial outlay, often when both are working with no existing childcare costs, you won't be able to afford the upkeep once the baby's here....?

crunchie I have sympathy for you and your mum but only someone who has not suffered infertility would make a comment like that
infertilty has many knock on effects such as depression etc which cost the nhs money
are you saying that people who need ivf should only have it if they can go privately ie only the rich should be able to have help if they are infertile?

intolerant then perhaps all the people having children living on benefits should be forcibly adminstered contaraceptives
nothing like kicking infertile people when they are down

andiem I do understand where you are comiong from and yes I am lucky. However my point is that when will everyone realise the NHS is not a bottomless pit of money, and that everyone should hav the 'right' to everything.

I know infertility is awful BUT IMHO the whole ethos that evryone 'should' have the right to a baby is also a modern day phenomenan. Surely before IVF noone felt they had the 'right' to a child. Do you see what I mean.

It is not just that that I have an issue with, I also have issues with plastic surgery on the NHS amongst other things

But andiem, this woman, who now has a happy outcome (if only she could see it) is the one talking about "being forced to re-mortgage" etc... It's her apparent attitude to money (notwithstanding the DM slant) that cries poverty.

intolerant I do think that she has come across very poorly in the article but I think her view is probably if they had done what they should have then maybe they wouldn't have to mortgage to pay for treatment I have sympathy with that

but using one woman's case to then start saying people shouldn't have ivf on the nhs sucks but I know lots of people think that and that those of us who have suffered infertilty should just be grateful to be alive and given a chance to live on the same planet as successful breeders

and before you jump on me I have one child conceived very easily naturally and one following ivf treatment all paid for privately with not even an investigation undertaken using nhs resources and I have worked for many years in the nhs looking after critically ill children so I can see all sides not just one

You see, that's a very tempting argument turnip, until you weigh it up against the likes of crunchie's mum (and my lovely MIL, as it happens, who had to spend many thousands of pounds on her cancer treatment for similar reasons), for whom it really is a life-or-death situation. Providing someone with joy, or saving another's life?
And where do you draw the line? What about treating someone for lung cancer who's continued to smoke despite knowing the risks? That's a contentious one also.

Now, we're all out of synch after MNHQ selfishly shut up shop for a few minutes. Pah!

I totally sympathize with this lady.

My twins were a result of ivf and it cost us thousands,we had to sell our lovely flat to pay for it which meant by the time we got back on the housing ladder that cost us thousands too. I also gave up my well paid job as couldn't cope with teaching and ivf. That has cost us thousands of pounds too. We are not alone I know soooo many people still living with the financial cost of IVF. I also nearly died from hyper stimulation and had some really invasive treatment during the 7 years.

Now if we'd done all that only to find out it was for nothing I'd be furious and suing big time. Private or NHS I'd be suing what ever, at the very least in the hope it would never happen again. This lady wouldn't have needed ivf and all it's costs and risks if they'd done a half decent job. We don't know the rest of the financial damage the unneeded ivf has cost them.

The if you can't afford ivf,you can't afford a baby comment was appalling. The last I heard when having a baby naturally you don't have to spend £250 just for a blood test several times a week,or sell your house to cover costs and buy drugs or give up your job which in turn means giving up maternity pay too. A lot of people raise babies on very little not the thousands of pounds that ivf has cost me.

And the no ivf comment on the NHS sickens me. I was teaching with a nursery nurse also on the infertility rollercoaster at the same time as us. The only difference was she and her dp were on a very low salary and had no house to sell. It was heartbreaking experiencing the same agony as her but knowing there was no way they could afford any treatment. She felt the same pain as me, why should she have missed out on motherhood just because she was on a lower income. It would be so unfair if only the wealthy had access to ivf.

And actually, FWIW, I think IVF should be on the NHS, a couple of cycles anyway. And I admit, I've never suffered the agonies of infertility. But, if I had, and had been given the glorious chance that this woman has got, I think I would be thanking the heavens every waking moment, not looking to sue.

if there is no come back then trusts will continue to put ivf treatment at the bottom of the pile. when people start suing and it costs the trusts money,then they will start to sit up and pay attention. I hope. that would be my reasoning if I were suing them.