To breast feed a friends baby if she was busy?

[narkymum]

just read a piece about it in closer. There is a programe about it on 9th sept c4 10pm.

My friend used to do it all the time for another friend's very unsettled baby that she used to look after. She was so matter of fact about it (and the other friend was unbothered) it seemed quite a normal arrangement. Her kids are older than mine, but if she'd still been lactating I don't think I'd have minded at all if she'd whipped them out and given my DDs a quick feed.

i do think its sad that so many people see it as so odd, and even disgusting. i understand it can be a gut reaction tho. just a shame its not really understood further then that, that its so far from 'our' present experience that it freaks so many people out.

my mum once offered her nipple to my ds1 when he was screaming madly and dp and i were trying to go out for a rare meal out. to calm him i guess. he didnt take it, but i will admit it felt odd to see it.

but, on the whole, i do believe human milk is better for humans than formula, so id allow/do it if the need arose.

I know what the presenter said about it. She said after making the prog she'd changed her mind and would let her lo take someone elses milk, but only out of a bottle, she wanted to nursing thing to be hers, and I think I am with her.
BTW when I was bfding I was sooo productive I actually thought about donating it, or even selling it, but couldn't find a local milk bank, and I realised that I couldn't guarantee it'd go to a baby if I sold it.... eeerrrgh! lol

Not read all the posts but I agree human milk better than any substitute. In theory I would prefer somoeone else to feed my baby if I couldn't than have to give formula. I would have massive preference for EBM.

Emotionally tho I would struggle to let someome feed my baby for me as a wet nurse if I was still around because to me Bf is such a special bonding thing between me and my baby. I think would struggle in rl to overcome the logic of bm milk best for my baby and feeling replaced or pushed out.

Don't get me wrong I know there isa lot more to being a mum than just feeding your baby!

When it comes to feeding someone elses baby I would do it for someone if they wanted me too. I could detach myself and see it as just for nutrition or comfort etc. Hypocritical in some ways I know!

I know that, practically, having another woman b'feed your baby is sensible and right, if you were unable to b'feed. I think the problem for me would be that i didn't even like someone else bottlefeeding my dd's, it just seemed that it was a very special and intimate moment between us. Also, as someone who really struggled to try and b'feed and felt like crap when it all went wrong, I think it would have broken my heart to see another woman b'feed my baby (i know that is selfish). I wouldn't have had any issue with feeding them another woman's expressed b'milk, if she had been kind enough to donate it, though.

Shall we try this one again? BM helps protect the baby from HIV even so it's illegal for HIV+ mothers to breastfeed in the UK so your HIV+ mother friend wouldn't be feeding her own baby let alone yours.

The prejudice of people sometimes!

My grandmother's generation fed each other's kids. They couldn't afford formula and it was tough to get hold of during the war. Twas the done thing apparently.

TBM - just interested in something you said. I know it is inadvisable for an HIV+ mother to BF, but is it actually illegal? Would it be GBH? And how would it be enforced?

It's illegal to knowingly or recklessly pass on HIV. So I suspect an HIV +ve mother breastfeeding her baby, contrary to medical advice, would constitute a similar offence. Iirc, in America and some other countries there is an HIV specific offence. In England and Wales we use our existing 1861 Offences Against the Person Act and in Scotland charges have been successful using their common law.

In order for an offence against the person to occur there has to be harm so I suspect a breasfeeding HIV +ve mother could not be charged for breastfeeding itself, only for actually infecting her infant.

I would breastfeed another woman's baby but in much the same way as I would change another baby's nappy; when I change my own children's nappies I do it with love and kisses and raspberries on their plump little tushies and I blow air gently on ds's nadgers because it makes him giggle - it's really just about keeping a child comfortable and hygenic, but because it's between mother and child it's a very personal and loving act. When I change a friend's child's nappy I do it kindly and efficiently and make sure the job is done well and that's it. Similarly I bf my own children with love and adoration and a special closeness, but I could bf another child without it being a special bonding experience.

Thanks for that Swedes, really interesting! I am supposedly working today (am a lawyer) and just wondered.....

my reaction first was "ewwww" but that was about the "provocative" photo of Kate-and-calf. Poor little thing (bull) will be in therapy!
I spose Kate is delighted to "start a debate" type thing, yawn..

G2B: I believe a person's breast milk is designed for their baby, not another baby.

Whose baby is formula designed for?

Also, I thought when HIV+ breastfeeding has been shown to be safer than not, as long as it's exclusive?

Can someone link to this photo? I've not seen it.

Yes, this (although I don't know the source) seems to imply itmight be illegal

Funnily enough I would rather my friend feed a baby for me than give formula/cows milk! At least its from the right animal iyswim I have had lots of dental appts which have run late and have had to cancel because dd2 needed a feed at a certain time and I couldn't be back in time. Before you all jump on me- she will not take a bottle of EBM or formula and ended up screaming at the friend looking after her for 30mins. If I could have left her with a breast feeding friend then this would have been simple as she could have fed her. I hasten to add that I would do for a friend too

Not read what everyone else has says but I had to be in hospital with my 2 year old over xmas 06 coz she was very ill and I had to leave my 3 month old with relatives. Luckily I managed to get them to bring me her and I had alot of expressed milk but had push come to shove I would much rather a friend or family member breastfed her than for her to have formula.

If you'd asked me before this had happened then I would probably have said no way. But in certain circumstances I think it'd be ok.

Thanks Swede, I only knew that they're not allowed, not the legal reasons behind it, but that makes sense (and I knew that too!) SPB's link saying it's endangerment also makes sense.

It has been suggested that HIV is not passed on through breast milk and infact the mothers antibodies are protective against it. The chances of catching HIV through blood to blood contact is extrememly rare, the most prevelant being sexual/ intravenous blood routes.
However, most mothers are tested through the routine blood tests by MWs for HIV and thus be aware of their status.

My cousin lives in NZ. She has many maori friends; they all breastfeed each others kids if the actual mum is busy. My cousin's kids have all been bf by who knows how many mums - but the mums are all close friends, so medical histories are known.

if the otehr mother is o.k. with it!

I would have hapily wetnursed, I think....but the other womans approval is as vital as your own feelings about it!