to just not want to go to this party and how do I decline?

[troubledfriend]

Quite a good friend from a while back - don't see her much these days.Really great girl.

Gets married in Barbados next month and having a party in the village hall on their return.

I don't want to go.

Should I feel obliged to go?

SHould I make an excuse not to go?
I would hate to hurt her feelings if she discovered I just did not want to go.

Actually, if more of us said we hate fancy dress parties then perhaps people would stop organising them!!

Oh gawd... village halls with their terrible acoustics.....

Only read beginning

Christ of course yanbu

Saints and sinners? Ficking Jehovah on a bicyle. NOBODY else will be thee, it will just be you and her and a pile of cheese sandwiches...wearing red lacy stuff.

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Also does anybody else find that whenever they invent a projectile vomiting child, that it strangely materialises and becomes reality? Not that I believe in karma or anything.. perhaps I just poison them in my sleep because I don't want to go to things.

[makes note to check out architectural merit or otherwise of all future party venues]

I can relate to that "don't want to go" feeling and I actually don't think there's anything wrong with a well-managed lie to protect her feelings, as long as it's cast-iron and she won't find out.

Going away for the weekend is a good one, but then you have to actually go, or else you'll bump into her

Or say yes, then apologise on the day because you are ill/have a migraine. If it's a big do, that shouldn't make much difference to the event and she will be left feeling you did really want to come. I wouldn't do this for a specially catered do like the wedding itself, but if it's just a party...

Or say you are not feeling well but you would love to drop in, go in normal clothes, give her a pressie/bouquet, wish her well and gracefully bow out saying you are so sorry you can't do the whole evening but will catch up with her later.

oh dear
i think turning up in normal clothes and then scarpering is the worst possible option. it screams "i didn't want to come to your party". if you're going to go you have to get into the spirit of it - otherwise best to decline.

and I can't believe the snootiness about village halls. I've been to some lovely, pretty ones, and good parties in them too, if slightly of the bunting cupcake variety. Better than a shitey hotel or ponce-tastic resturant.

Cappucino and Upwind win the award for spotting that the real problem is I am feeling depressed. Your comments really touched me and I have decided i am indeed going to go.
Thanks to EVERYONE for your contributions. Some of them really made me smile, particularly the assumptions about the village hall. The Venue in NO WAY afects my desire to go or otherwise

Message withdrawn

Oh the scourge of fancy dress. Why the feck do people do it? Would much rather have a new party dress from coast or the like than be forced to construct something out of an old sheet and some toilet roll inners.