In thinking mother and baby places should not be used by those without children not pregnant etc and then laugh about it treating it as a joke!!

[2luvlyboys]

PILs park in the mother and baby space all the time as a matter of course using the fact they have a child seat in there as an excuse!! Never take my dcs shopping never why would they? That is very very unreasonable imo and makes me ! They have been challanged about it and they say they make a joke about they left the kids at home!
Observant ones will notice I put this on another thread but then thought it deserves an aibu in its own right iyswim!

xlr....erm...there is a huge difference between disabled people parking in P&T bays and Parents parking in disabled bays.....!

Of course disabled people should be able to park in p&t bays unchallenged, without receiving dirty looks or sneers...I mean, surely that one is a no-brainer? They can't help being disabled you know, and , as has been pointed out several times alreaady, for a disabled person it will mean the difference between having that little bit of independence and actually being able to get to the shop at all or having to go home without having shopped....
And that doesn't stand like that for parents wiht children....p&t's are nice and can make life easier, they are NOT a necessaty!

Gangle - no-one's having a go at you. In fact, several times I have tried to make it very clear that I'm not trying to jump down your throat or make you feel bad.

All I'm trying to do is help you see that you're making your own life much, much harder than it needs to be. You don't need to faff about with a trolley and a buggy. You don't need to worry about using an umbrella even if it's pissing it down - shove baby under your coat!! You don't need to take your baby with you while you get a trolley/pay for petrol.

The thing is - I remember this stage. I remember it very, very well. I also remember it being 5 months later and being in the utter pit of despair that was PND because I found it so impossible to let go. If I can help you see that by continuing this neurosis you may well be setting yourself up for a massive fall - well, I hope you see what I'm trying to do, anyway. MN is a massive support for new mums and mums to be - and it helped me see that what i was doing was absurd and unecessary.

No-one is saying you shouldn't use P&T spaces while they're there. No-one is saying they're not convenient, and no-one is saying that the discourtesy of some people who abuse them isn't irritating. They're just not a necessity. You don't need a P&T space to go shopping. There are ways around it - and all I (and others) were trying to do was help you see that. If you feel you need to leave MN over that, then I hate to say it, but it probably wasn't the right forum for you anyway.

"Disabled spaces are a privlege"

Blinking disabled people thinking they have some sort of right to go out - getting ideas above their station. How dare they? I hope they say thank you to us able bodied types every time they park ungrateful bastards.

Dear god.

THAT is what is wrong with P&T spaces. They make able bodied mothers think they have 'rights' or even needs that are equal to a disability.

xlr8 - blue badges are not a priviledge. Don't be ridiculous. Unless, of course, having a severed spinal column like my friend who has the "priviledge" of a blue badge is also a fabulous priviledge that I've managed to miss out on, by dint of having the use of the lower half of my body.

God - I really feel like I'm missing out now.

Idiot.

"THAT is what is wrong with P&T spaces. They make able bodied mothers think they have 'rights' or even needs that are equal to a disability."

JimJam - well said. That's why they should be farkin banned.

In California, I've never seen parent and child parking, nor anywhere in the US, now that i think about it.

It's disabled only.

ROFL @ "babies don't rust"

ilove...are parking bays generally bigger in California, though?

Why does this always end up with a fight over the few crumbs we are thrown? There's not much out there designed to make my life with a toddler and baby easier, so I really like the parent and child parking and want it to be kept for me. Surely this isn't an either / or situation in terms of parking and supermarkets don't take one space from disabled people to give to a parent and child, so why are people acting like it's a competition for resources or who has the most difficult life?

It is not unreasonable for designated spaces to be used by the designated group alone, but I do think that overspill from disabled parking should be a priority for any other appropriate designated parking.

I am very sad to hear that people with children with disabilities, or those who have disabilities themselves, are frowned on/abused for using the P&C spaces. That is ridiculous - of course you should be able to use them when the disabled spaces are full! I can see why you want the P&C spaces banned under those circs.

But while I agree that the P&C spaces are a luxury, isn't it nicer that you have them as a fallback option if the disabled spaces ARE full?

Our local supermarkets all have the disabled spaces nearest the doors and the P&C spaces further away, but either side of a covered pedestrian walkway. There are more disabled spaces than P&C spaces.

I think the OP was just pointing out that is is rude and inconsiderate to use spaces that are designated for a certain type of user if you don't qualify for that type (in this case, not having a toddler and being blatantly smug about their misuse of the spaces) - if it had been a disabled space they were using I'm pretty sure everyone would have agreed she was being totally reasonable.

Although I did suggest that it would be nice to have spaces for heavily pregnant mothers, I wouldn't want to use a disabled space as I don't think that is right, even if it were to be allowed (as one poster said it is near her - was that in France? I can't remember) - and tbh, it was a bit tongue-in-cheek.

Yes, p&t spaces should be used.

3and - parking spaces in California aren't bigger, I don't think.

the problem, in my opinion, is that parking is not enforced in supermarkets which is why you get people 'enforcing' it themselves.

i was just wondering...because....most things seem to be bigger in America, lol...iykwim....

Completely agree, supermarkets should be enforcing parking arrangements as part of the service, not leaving it to their customers to slug it out.

You realise your food prices would go up if you had to pay security guards to patrol P&T don't you?

And I mean really? Why? It's not a complete hardship for mother's to have to walk to the store if the P& T spaces are full. Why on earth would you want to have someone patrolling it? Crazy. ,

How do you manage at the cinema/swimming pool/everywhere else with no P& T spots?

I think this will get more contentious over time, because I think there will be more and more disabled people.

As medical advance mean we live longer, there are naturally more elderly and frail people about. Also many of the people who are entitled to disabled badges don't look remotely disabled - my fit and healthy looking BIL has a badge because he is terminally ill. He doesn't really need it now, but might do very soon. Anyone I know in their ninetys has a badge because they really need it. Will supermarkets and local authorities expand their disabled parking to accomodate so many extra users? Or will they simply make it clear that disabled drivers are within their rights to use parent and child spaces (as I think it is obvious that they should be anyway!)

at this thread!

A few thoughts;

Disabled spaces - should be next to supermarket, big, checked regularly for interlopers who get on the spot fines!

P&T spaces - not necessary imo, but if provided should be wide spaces at the back of the car park, so that they are not 'desirable' for other users. Could be next to a trolley station.

Gangle - you do sound quite anxious, but I think most mums are with their first. Can I make a few suggestions to make things easier?

Don't bother with a change bag in a supermarket - it's just one more thing to carry. Or if you really need it, get a rucksack style one.

Don't bother with an umbrella - keep a roll up cagoule in your bag - if you get a big one then you can wrap the baby up as well.

Try and use a trolley that either has a baby seat, or has a car seat holder - they are SO much easier.

Petrol Stations - either use a pay at the pump, or if you really can't access one, leave the baby in the car. I know to some people this feels wrong, but honestly, for every risk you can think of for leaving them in the car there is a risk to taking them out.

For example; a car might reverse into the car with the baby in. True. But it won't be going fast. A car might reverse into YOU carrying the baby, crossing the forecourt. Baby would be more injured by the fall to the ground, or actually being hit by the car.

Do you see what I mean? Nothing is perfectly safe, and I honestly think it is SAFER to leave the baby in the car (where you can see it) than to try and carry them across the forecourt. And once you have a toddler, or more than one child then there is no question.
Fwiw, I take all 3 of mine to the supermarket, and they just have to behave - ds2 goes in the trolley, dd and ds1 each hold a side of the trolley. It works ok.

Don't think I'm having a go at you - I just don't think you will enjoy your baby as much as you could if you are constantly worrying! And obviously this is a message board, and I don't 'know' you, so am only going on what I've read!

In my local supermarket, they have staff in the car park already organising trolleys and checking parking spces now and then. I wasn't anticipating any shop employing hordes of jealous security making citizen's arrests.

I am bothered by this tone that p&t spaces really aren't needed. The more organisations think about the needs of families and children, the better. It is a tiny first step that is being taken (and let's not forget it's all about making money) and should be encouraged not dismissed as 'a luxury'.

Often some of the trolley boys have some mild learning difficulties (they always used to when I worked in Sainsbury's) and I think it's quite a common 'sheltered' work option - not really fair to put them in the lions den of P&T spots.

If people just chilled and treated them as an added luxury/bonus/nice to be able to get if you turn up at the right time, it wouldn't be a problem.

Judging from the threads on here I don't think it helps families. They just seem to turn presumably normally mild mannered mothers into raving loons.

Make everyone's life easier and make the parking spots a little bit wider.

You know, there is something in that. if there's no allocated parking i survive, if someone takes 'my' parking and they're not entitled, I bubble up with bitchiness and come over all fishwife. You're right, as customers we should all have easier parking (or slightly smaller cars).

Am off now to shop and will try to act like grown up if I have to park in nasty spot!

That's the thing- it breeds the whole 'that's my space mentality'. Which is crazy. Whether or not there are people parked there who shouldn't be there's nearly always going to be more mothers in the store at any one time than spaces. So even if the middle aged man in the sports car had parked elsewhere you may still not have got a space.

Tip to those of you with pre-school children. Go shopping at 3pm. Always loads of P&T spaces. The Mums with older children as well are on the school run.

yabu these spaces are a complete joke.
fai enough i won't intentionally park in them if there are other spaces as i'm not trying to prove a point or get into an argument with some over zealous mother of 5. but if there are no other spaces i would park in them no problem.

lol I thought of this thread as I parked in a P&T space today