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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

In thinking mother and baby places should not be used by those without children not pregnant etc and then laugh about it treating it as a joke!!

400 replies

2luvlyboys · 23/08/2008 21:43

PILs park in the mother and baby space all the time as a matter of course using the fact they have a child seat in there as an excuse!! Never take my dcs shopping never why would they? That is very very unreasonable imo and makes me ! They have been challanged about it and they say they make a joke about they left the kids at home!
Observant ones will notice I put this on another thread but then thought it deserves an aibu in its own right iyswim!

OP posts:
FlightAttendent · 25/08/2008 10:55

God Riven, I can't begin to imagine.

I have a spare washing machine but not a fridge atm or else you could have it.

Sorry you have had such a shit night.

FlightAttendent · 25/08/2008 10:57

What are they going to do re the transport though, you need something for DD don't you.

sarah293 · 25/08/2008 11:02

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sarah293 · 25/08/2008 11:03

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lojoesmammy · 25/08/2008 13:43

DH has just left (actually about 11am) to go to the shops with the kids, its 8 miles away. So, we strapped ds in his wheel chair and dh is pushing him whilst dd is walking too. (Not that we need anything, they just fancied the walk!!!! wtf)

3andnomore · 25/08/2008 14:32

oh April, but those older Kids may well have disabilities, you know.....I mean, they could be autistic or somehting.....thought I say it beofre anyone else does....( I fell into this trap before, can you tell )

flubdub · 25/08/2008 15:45

Ok, Im ALL for P&T spaces, but Gangle, you're being ridiculous Im afraid.
Umberellas??? please. Why?
Buggy? Put your son in the little seats.
Nappy bag? Change your babies nappy before you go. Pack a nappy in your handbag if you must. I usually buy those tiny packets of baby wipes in supermarkets anyway, so i dont need bibs for dribble etc. They cost about 50p.
You wont even go and fetch a trolley? Lock the car, you'll be gone 1 minute tops. Nothing will happen. Your car wont float off into the sky, or be abducted by aliens. Your baby wont know, or care you've gone.
You're being crazy Im afraid.

bergentulip · 25/08/2008 16:00

Also depends on how shit people are at parking.

fakingit · 25/08/2008 16:38

So what if someone carries all that stuff with them? The poster was only saying how she finds it convenient to use the P&C spaces provided. It is not your place to ridicule someone and accuse them of PFB syndrome.

It's ridiculous to suggest that she should park at the other end of the car park and get a trolley and walk all the way to the store, when she would not actually achieving anything by doing so, other than making hassle for herself when there are more convenient spaces provided by the store.

What is she supposed to do, do as you suggest and wear a T shirt emblazoned with the slogan "Convert P&C spaces into disabled spaces NOW" so that everyone knows why she is doing it?

It is just common sense that while the spaces are provided, people are going to use them because they are more convenient.

Many people have mentioned that they wouldn't necessarily need to be directly in front of the store. For eg, my local supermarket has disabled spaces right at the front, then P&C, and then normal ones.

I don't see why loads of you seem to be rampantly anti P&C spaces and then extending your anti feelings towards those who use them.

If you have an issue about availablily of disabled parking then shouldn't your ire be aimed at the supermarkets?

As for suggesting people should shop online as an alternative - why are you even suggesting this? What has it got to do with anything?

chonky · 25/08/2008 16:44

I don't think anyone is questioning whether it's ok to use P&T spaces fakingit. I think what's disconcerting is that some people think that having access to a P&T space is a pre-requisite need for going shopping, rather than a 'nice to have'. Big difference between 'need' and 'nice to have' IMO.

fakingit · 25/08/2008 16:48

The point I was making was that that poster wasn't saying I need it because, but I use it because dot dot dot and got a load of responses about how you don't need the spaces and listing all the things you could do to circumvent their necessity, which imo was a moot point.

2shoes · 25/08/2008 16:50

At our local sainsburys(which I can't fo to now as the van doesn't fit)
the P&T are also the disabeled spaces. so there I was on day waiting(back when I had a zafira) for a space as I couldn't get dd out in a normal space. a couple then came back to their car carrying a tiny baby in their arms. I for the life of me (and still don't) see why they needed a special bay.

I also think it can be just as hard for someone who has a couple of dc's of about 7 or 8. why shouldn't they use these golden bays.

sarah293 · 25/08/2008 17:10

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Gangle · 25/08/2008 17:43

FFS! I have never said DH was a GP. I said he was a (hospital dr) dr and sorry but in London that doens't mean you get to live in a great area! Amazed that some of you are shocked that I dare to use an umbrella when it's pissing down. How vain of me. Silly me for using an umbrella, P&C spaces and for not leaving my DS, 5 months, unattended in a car or sticking him in a trolley when he can't sit up properly. Feeling pretty down at the moment anyway and abuse like this is really the last thing I need. I don't intend to use mumsnet again - a little too fascist for me and intolerant of those with other views.

Gangle · 25/08/2008 17:45

And I have never said there is an absolute need for them or that they should take priority over disabled spaces - just that I think they serve a purpose and make the whole process easier. Lets see how this gets misconstued.

3andnomore · 25/08/2008 17:55

Sorry, I must have misunderstood...that was an honest mistake, tbh...no need to be snappy at me....but hohum...can understand why you are snappy in general right now...you have received a lot of flag...so, you shall be excused (and please don't think I mean that in a patronizing way...honestly, I understand where you are coming from right now)

3andnomore · 25/08/2008 18:00

just went back to see why I came to think you had a GP hubbie....it was because you said DP is a Doctor, in one post, and for whatever reason I read it that he is a GP...like I said it was an honest mistake

fakingit · 25/08/2008 18:02

Gangle, personally I thought you were quite clear in your posts and I think the amount of patronising criticism you have received in some of these posts quite outrageous.

2luvlyboys · 25/08/2008 20:15

Whats going on!!!? I start a thread about p&t bays don't check for a day or so and world war three has broken out in my absence !! I merely meant this thread to be a comment that if they are there, (and I except they are not an essential but very nice to have and they do make life easier)- they should only be used by those they are intended for - ie people with children. Thats it. I am that it has turned into a thread to abuse other mothers who may not have the same point of view. Life is hard enough for parents without this. I thought the point of mums net was to support one another not make someone so unhappy that she won't use this site again!! No need for personal abuse like this!

OP posts:
MannyMoeAndJack · 25/08/2008 20:24

I think P&C bays are GREAT!

From experience of shopping in supermarkets where the P&C bays are on one side of the car park, instead of being bang outside the store, it seems that drivers slowly circle the normal bays outside the store in the hopes of getting a nearby space!!

MilaMae · 25/08/2008 20:59

I think some of the critism Gangle has received is rather nasty and uncalled for. Those of you writing the sanctimonious posts giving all sorts of advice have obviously forgotten those early days or are looking back with rose tinted glasses-pre-packed nappy bags -pah!!!!!

I seem to recall shopping with tiny babies involved dashing out at a moments notice and by the time baby(or babies in my case)were ready I was lucky if we were all buckled in correctly an hour later let alone changing etc before the off.

In any case if Gangle finds it hard so what. We all have areas in motherhood we find hard and just because you may find shopping easy with babies/kids doesn't mean we all have to. I still find it hard and I was 5 years ago taking classes of 30 5 year olds swimming/on trips pretty much single handed. In actual fact I'd gladly take said classes swimming anyday rather than take my 3 shopping for a weeks worth of food.

Everybody agrees disabled spaces are the priority. I live in Devon and all of the supermarket car parks quite rightly have masses of disabled(always empty)spaces in choc a block car parks. There are also p&t spaces. People needing disabled spaces are fully catered for so what is the problem with parents enjoying the benefits that p&t spaces offer?

I feed a family of 5 and spend a fortune in supermarkets so feel I'm entitled to enjoy the 1 and only perk of food shopping with 3 dc of 4,4 and 3. I will continue to do so until told otherwise, it makes my life easier. The supermarkets want families shopping in their supermarkets as we are the ones that they make the most money out of. It suits them to attract families and suits mums like me who find them useful.

So far when shopping 1 twin has bashed the side of a car with our car door and was told off by the owner(quite rightly).On another occasion twin no 2 nearly got run over when we were returning to our car parked the other side or the car park(my trolley was v heavy and over laden with dd,loo rolls etc, I couldn't steer and hold 2 extra pairs of hands). Both of these incidents wouldn't have happened if we were in a p&t space.

Most of our car parks are choc a block everywhere,there are no empty(other than disabled)areas. The only one that has a quiet area is a brand new Asda. It's fab and has 2 huge car parks and loads of zebra crossings and walkways.interestingly only 6 p&t spaces which I never use. This is because the spaces are bigger and it's safe to walk back to the car. This carpark is not owned by Asda and we get charged a fee which is refunded. If all supermarket carparks were like this we wouldn't need p&t spaces. As most supermarkets like to cram in as many cars as they can I can't see the day of them changing happening any day soon. Until that day happens when not shopping in Asda I will continue to use carparks with p&t spaces and avoid those that don't.

And on the subject of shopping via the net. I have to go into town to do errands once a week and do the big shop too as can't afford the petrol to do 2 trips. I also can't afford both the delivery charge of internet shopping and petrol into town. In any case I prefer not to do my food shop online as don't like getting green bananas and food with short shelf lives.

And re -'we never had p&t spaces in the 70s". My mother was a mother in the 70s. The last time she came shopping with me she remarked how much easier it was to go shopping then. Smaller supermarkets so a quicker trip,less fractious kids,less cars and emptier car parks.

I find it odd that people get so hot under the collar about this so much so that they feel the need to be nasty to other posters. As long as disabled people are catered for(and everybody feels they should be)any mum should feel able to use a p&t space that is provided by supermarkets on their property for mums without being judged by other mums. Isn't there something a bit more worthy to berate others on???

2luvlyboys · 25/08/2008 21:40

Couldn't agree with you more milamae!

OP posts:
nappyaddict · 26/08/2008 02:52

gangle - why does your child need to be able to sit up to go in a trolley? there are trolley's with baby seats too.

xlr8 · 26/08/2008 03:52

Well, this IS a subject that bothers me!! I haven't read the entire thread, but, as far as parking spaces go......
People with blue badges should of course park in the spaces provided, as should people with children park in the spaces provided for them!!

There will always be people that will park anywhere they please as they are selfsh.
However, I have heard lots of complaints about p&t 's parking in disabled bays, but I would just like to point out that p&t spaces are used by disabled people when their allocated spaces run out!!!!
But I'm sure that's OK???
Disabled spaces are a privlege aswell as p&t's, we all need them for differet reasons , but we all have an equal 'right' to them!!

eidsvold · 26/08/2008 07:58

actually disables spaces are legislated and enforceable by law whereas parent and child/toddler are not. Whether it is on private property or on the street - if you do not have the appropriate disabled parking badge then you can be fined.

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