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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say to a friend who claimed she was unable to breast feed because of her previous 'breast augmentation' op (without any sense of irony) that...

69 replies

May2December · 20/08/2008 21:27

this is the equivalent of a man having his penis enlarged but no longer able to get an erection or ejaculate! I have nothing against women not breast feeding or having breast enhancing surgery but if this prevents a woman from breastfeeding(which I do not believe for one minute- it would be tantamount to mutilation) then for pure vanity you are rendering your breasts useless for their original purpose to make them 'look' more appealing!

OP posts:
misdee · 20/08/2008 21:43

is that ok?

mistypeaks · 20/08/2008 21:44

I can't imagine why she would have to feel she needs to lie to you . You sound so supporive . . .
Maybe she is lying, maybe she isn't. It is althogether possible the augmentation has been a factor.
Either way - take off the judgy pants.

Piffle · 20/08/2008 21:44

I think it is not really any of your business may2 tbh

But I went for breast reduction aged 18 and decided to leave it as they said breastfeeding would be impossible due to size of reduction (this was 1988)

So I decided then no thanks
Now aged 37 having completed my family
I'm getting it done

But tis no ones business but mine

And while personally I might draw the same judgement as OP
I'd never ever be rude enough to voice it.

HappypillsGalore · 20/08/2008 21:45

i had a friend who had had her boobs done and said she wouldnt be able to bf because of it. she was pg at the time.
i thought 'oh, thats a wee bit sad, but hey ho.' and moved on.

chefswife · 20/08/2008 21:47

if your friend cannot BF after her augmentation, then she has a fantastic malpractice suit on her hands.

deegward · 20/08/2008 21:49

I had said reduction op when i was 24 and then when had ds1 really struggled to breast feed, but felt i was making excuses why it was so hard. Then got bad pnd with ds2 for same reason. Glad I didn't have anyone like you to make me feel even better!!!

chefswife · 20/08/2008 21:51

just read the article from above poster. guess you need to be sure what procedure you are having, so if your friend was fully explained that the one she chose would stop her from BF then no lawsuit.

she may just be using it as an excuse because she is not interested in BF and may find using this excuse easier than explaining why she is not interested in BF.

bethoo · 20/08/2008 21:52

it can affect bf as sometimes the nipple is removed or the tubes get damaged. my friend had a reduction, she could not bf her baby before she had it as she could not see the baby!
she wants to bf next time but has been told she may not be able to. some people are lucky in tht they can.
not all breast augmentation are done purely for cosmetic reason eg breast cancer patients.

ScottishMummy · 20/08/2008 21:52

you are quite a ticket!do you express these views to your friend or sneakily bitch on MN and remain duplicitous

nice

ForeverOptimistic · 20/08/2008 22:02

Maybe she is lying to you. She probably senses that you are judgemental and doesn't want to have to justify her decision to you.

LittleBella · 20/08/2008 22:12

Actually breast surgery can also affect the other function, the sexual one. Some women report a loss of sensation/ pleasure in their nipples after breast surgery.

But yeah YABU, your comments don't sound as if they were offered in a supportive spirit.

IAteRosemaryConleyForBreakfast · 20/08/2008 22:13

To be blunt, you sound like a bitch and I'm not surprised your "friend" would feel the need to lie to you to shut you up.

CrushWithEyeliner · 20/08/2008 22:15

you sound really horrible

KatieDD · 20/08/2008 22:21

Hmmm are breast's useless once they can't breast feed then ?
I quite like my for decorative purposes

ScottishMummy · 20/08/2008 22:22

yes a mum with a baby need support, empathy,humour.not a mate spewing bitchy rubbish

i really needed my friends when i had lo. i was tired,scared,struggled

fortunately there were no recriminations.warm and empathic

unlike you

Aitch · 20/08/2008 22:28

OP is NOT being a friend.

my mate had her boobs done and bf twins for four months, rather heroically imo as both the twins and her breasts were enormous. However, after she gave up, she became concerned that her implant had burst and had another op, only to find that she had a pint and a half of milk slooshing around in there. fresh as the day it was made, lovely jubbly, nine months after her last bf.

Original poster
May2December · 20/08/2008 22:29

Yes I must be horrible then, always did get into trouble for speaking my mind and I am quite judgemental of people who have unnecessary surgery out of vanity . I realise this is my problem and not my friends but I still maintain the ability to breastfeed is undervalued in the UK.

OP posts:
LittleBella · 20/08/2008 22:31

LOL at KatieDD's bieng for decorative purposes.

Wish mine were bleeding decorative.

ScottishMummy · 20/08/2008 22:36

oh shuve off and take yer tub with you.dont try pass this off as health orientated interest

speaking mind= euphemism's for cheeky cow

jade goody kerry katona all emmm pride themselves on speaking their (small) minds

as evidently do you

KatieDD · 20/08/2008 22:38

Yes little bella, but i've had mine done and very perky they are too

edam · 20/08/2008 22:38

May2December, I'm curious. Why, exactly, would you jump to the conclusion that your friend - presumably someone you know and like - is lying? Rather than thinking 'oh, I didn't know that' or even looking it up somewhere?

Seems a bit strange to me. Do you often assume that people are lying when they tell you something that you don't actually know anything about?

If I told you, for instance, that this -

is called an en dash, would you assume I was being untruthful, or would you google it?

SqueakyPop · 20/08/2008 22:38

Given the number of women with fully functioning breasts who don't breastfeed, I think you should give your friend a break. Milk ducts do get cut during these ops.

Tittybangbang · 20/08/2008 23:05

You didn't say that to her did you?

But it's ok to think it!

colacubes · 20/08/2008 23:11

May2 you acted like a bit of a tit

ScottishMummy · 20/08/2008 23:12

LOL i love a good pun