to want to keep the thing I was given on freecycle and not have to give it back?

[JamesAndTheGiantBanana]

Was given a wooden playpen on fc a few months back, immaculate, sturdy thing, built to last. Was very grateful to the people who gave it to us and chuffed with it.

Now they have emailed me saying can they have the playpen back when we've finished with it as the woman is becoming a childminder. They were lovely people but I wanted to keep the playpen for subsequent babies after ds has outgrown it (he hasn't yet, he's 12m)

I'm not angry about this but it has put me in a bit of an awkward position - I can't really ignore her email, but I don't know what to say! Aibu to want to keep it? I didn't know it would be a loan.

What Warthog said. I think the original giver was just asking to have first refusal when OP was done with it.

I am with blueshoes that it isn't unreasonable for her to ask. Unreasonable to expect to be given it back as freecycle is clearly about giving things and not loaning them. I feel the same about things that are given to friends although I would give something back to a friend but not freecyler (unless I had genuinely finished with the item).

I just don't get why you lied about the reason though. I mean what is wrong with just saying you wanted it for future children? It is yours now and the giver has no hold over or right to it? And if they got funny with you I would block their email and inform the freecycle moderators. But being honest and talking to people - why a problem with that?

say you will give it back but suggest that as your child is only 12 months old, and walking yet (lie, lie if neccessary) it may be 2 years or so before you have finished with it.....

have given stuff away on freecycle and would never ask for them back but she might just be "wondering" if its not in your way/finished with or whatever.

It depends on how it was phrased.

Personally, I would probably let her have it (if I was finished with it)

The rules would be irrelevant. Maybe if you have another baby you could email her to ask for it back ... !

YANBU. She gave it to you so she should not ask for it back.

I would say that you would be happy to pass it back to her when you are finished with it, in keeping with the whole passing on freecycle ethos. However, you are still using it, currently for your child and possibly for a future one.

Say that you understand her asking but she gave it away and that is that! You are still using it!!

If she thought she might want it, she should not have given it away!! She will have to get another from freecycle or buy one!

My Aunt gave me (or so i thought!) a cot for my DD!. When DD1 was 15 months, she sent my gran round for it, as her daughter was pregnant! I was also pregnant with DD2, but my aunt wanted it back RIGHT THEN AND THERE for her daughter! my gran came round with a manky 2nd hand cot that she had to quickly buy, so i could dismantle the other cot that day. I was gobsmacked!

I apologise profusely for my abundant use ofexclamtion marks in that post

alicet: "But being honest and talking to people - why a problem with that?"

Exactly - it is just asking and talking. Simple honest adult communication. Not sure where all this baggage comes from.

Am I the only one on here that finds it a bit strange that the woman kept the OP's e-mail address for a couple of months.

I I get or give on freecycle I delete e-mails as soon as items are collected

Or am I the strange one?

Two things.

First, she might just have thought that maybe you would have finished with it by now and if so would like to be considered before you give it away to someone else.

Secondly - I wouldn't lie, I'd write straight back and say 'Yes, of course I'd be really happy to give it back as soon as we are done with it but unfortunately we are still very much using it and anticipate that we will be for some time - I hope you understand.'

She will prob say 'Oh don't worry then, I'll just get a new one!'

norks - i would probably find stuff still in my sent items years afterwards, or with some email programs (such as Outlook) it stores email addresses even if you don't add them to contacts, so if you start typing someone's name it will fill in the email address for you.

So she might not have kept it in a deliberate fashion, just thought 'I could do with that playpen, wonder if I've still got any trace of who it was I gave it to'

iyswim

my inbox has emails from april in it.

April Misdee?

Mine has about 6000 messages in it. I have no idea what to do with them all.

I have 14,000 emails in my yahoo acount, they go back to 2004, but I can't be bothered to delete them all lol

yup april. over 2000 emails.

i spent an evening clearing my inbox, but then dh listed loads of stuff on ebay on my account.

She replied because I'd posted another wanted ad and she saw my name and remembered me. She isn't stalking me! lol

Oh god, my trash bin deletes mails that are older than 30 days and there are still over 12,000 in there It's bloody Birmingham Freecycle!

I'm with Blueshoes as well. No harm in asking. It might have been sitting in your loft or getting in your way. I'm surprised so many people hide behind the rules of FC just to basically say "it's mine now, I didn't want to pay for one then and I don't want to pay for one now".

I gave some big toys and high chairs to DD1's nursery when we finished with them. Then I got pg with DD2 but thought it would be awkward to ask for them back from the nursery, so bought new ones (the nursery wouldn't have finished with them). I'd be more than happy to return stuff if people asked, though, unless I got particularly attached to some object.

SO has she responded to your reply then?