to want to participate in an internet forum where people dont spend inordinate amounts of time slagging each other off...?

[farrowandball]

for some things, mumsnet is invaluable. i have received good advice, laughed out loud, read posts which have made me reflect on my own life.

but - i cant help but feel a tad repulsed by the levels of strident abuse of late.

surely its possible to acknowledge there are different ways of living/raising children and that is a good thing? within the bounds of genuinely abusive behaviour (and i dont mean using a buggy or the occasional sweet or whatever) how can anyone really be so sure that they are right, that they feel empowered to belittle and criticise others? surely its possible to contribute to discussions without getting abusive?

I cant help but feel that no-one gets it completely right. and that the point of an arena like this is to support and share.

it makes me really sad. that's all i wanted to say.

Yes too mushy is often what I think of you Aitch you, and DesiXenia and Madamez

no, no-one does get it all right, but then, we don;t get it all wrong either and most here are very strong characters who can be quite vocal at times (strike that, very vocal) so it can come across as fairly 'know-it-all' occasionally.

the 'abusive' threads generally are started by someone being quite abusive to start with, and so they really deserve a lot of what they get.....and if they cannot handle it that normally turn tail and run. those that don;t, often make things worse by getting more and more irate, and then more abusive!

the threads tho that descend into huge arguements (the feeding/SAHM/WOHM namely) can be likened to a huge debate......in a huge dabate everyone (mostly) shouts to get their point across and it gets very very heated.

the difference lies in that on MN, we type it, so it is easier to say and read, and it doesn;t get drowned out in the forray in the way it would in a room full of us!!!

and as for the support.....when we need it is there in 100fold.....I know this, I have been on the receiving end on the wonderful support.

the trick is not to post in AIBU when you need the support!!!!

i'll consider myself told.

I agree with you, F&B.

I a anti-hun'n'hugs, but as equally anti-point-scoring, narkiness and bitchiness - all as ully destructive to direct robust opinion and debate as fluff.

I agree with Bluesky - holiday boredom (talk fo the sake of it) weather and trolls are affecting the general tenor of the boards atm.

Or maybe the Vipers have taken over the asylum!

ohdon't feel bad, come and let me hug you farrow...no, stay still you varmint, don't wriggle so...

isn't narkiness and bitchiness just badly phrased, and not well-thought out, robust opinion and debate though

are we actually just pissed off at those who are unable to couch their barbs in witty attire?

ya see if I called Blu a witch that's be narky and bitchy

but if I said that she was a pribbling weather-bitten pumpion she'd know I'd been on the Shakespearean insult generator again

Thou weedy base-court harpy!

Thou clouted weather-bitten dewberry!

surly full-gorged flax-wench!

Excuse me but i posted in AIBU because i couldn't think where else it would fit into. And i wasn't abusive, just unknowledgable, which i confessed straight away.

Does that make me a troll?

fullmoonfiend thou art as loathsome as a toad

Wot I love about MN is how the flouncing threads always bring out the wittiest, cleverest people.

It's great.

If you want nice and fluffy, go to babycentre.

Does anyone remember an episode of Red Dwarf called 'Better Than Life', where the Dwarfers tried a Virtual Reality program which made their lives perfect, but Rimmer's brain rebelled against his and dragged all of them into a nigtmare world which they had to escape from?

Some troll-accused threads are like that. We can't believe that a person is actually asking for information so we accuse them of not being real.

for what its worth, i dont want nice and fluffy. i just find all this self righteous certainty that the way someone chooses to live is the right way, and the only way, at best bizarre, and at worst didactic. i'm not trying to flounce, i've just been finding it all a bit much but, as someone suggested below, i should just not engage with it.

Twiglett, O Illiterate Loiterer, me thinks thou never wast where grace dwells...

So you want to participate in an internet forum where people don't spend inordinate amounts of time slagging each other off?

Good luck finding one of those then!

F&B - just lead by example

i'm with Aitch. puke

and whats this "of late" bollocks

its always been thus.

booo chuffin hooo

Ah, GodzyGoesBananas that's one of our favourite Red Dwarfs. Dh always says he is Rimmer from that episode when all the kids are bickering in the car.

Re OP, Custy sums it up really.

I like MN like that. It's like St Trinians on here all unruly and rude and bashing each other with hockey sticks and the occasional almighty explosion from the chemistry lab.

these threads always make me wonder if the op knows that they don't have to come on here. There is a whole internet to explore out there.

the op (hi armadillo, my name is f&b btw) came here having heard it was a good place to learn stuff about parenting and (when she feels isolated or worried) and good place to feel less so.

the op, however, feels now she was absolutely wrong.

Link please, TheArmadillo.