.... barbecue at SIL's last week, children playing in the pool. Knew they were all overweight but hadn't quite realised just how fat until seeing them in swimming costumes. Her 13 year old is wearing an adult size 16. Two of the younger ones are obese - not overweight, obese. The youngest one has legs that are so fat his thighs rub together at the top and get sore. They all have what looks like adult beer bellies - big, wobbly spare tyres that hang over the tops of their clothes.
SIL is wonderful mum. She's a super-bright, educated woman who is devoted to her children. However, her attitude when it comes to any lifestyle related health issue is this: so and so lived until 90 even though they were obese and smoked - therefore it's not worth fussing over things like smoking/drinking/overeating. I've gone to family parties and sat there silent while they discuss the pointlessness of healthy eating.
As an outsider coming into the family I see things differently. I see that my FIL (obese and hypertensive) has had a stroke at 73 and now has very poor mobility, partly because he weighs 18 stone. I see that MIL (also obese and with type II diabetes) had obesity related complications after hernia surgery and was ill for 2 years following her operation. I see that BIL (overweight, heavy smoker) has had heart attack at 46. I see that other SIL (obese and hypertensive) took 4 years to conceive her first child - something her obstetrician put down to her weight.
The children are constantly being told they're just 'big' and nobody ever says 'no' to them when it comes to food. They are allowed to eat as much as they like - huge portions, seconds of everything, snacks between meals. They are active and sporty (which as far as SIL is concerned makes them healthy, and stops her worrying about their weight), but they'd have to be on olympic training schedules to burn off all the calories they're eating.
Last week when we were round there the children got their new toy out - a Wii Fit. The 8 year old stepped onto it and it told him he was obese. He stepped off it and shoved it back into the box. He looked quite taken aback. I don't think SIL realised when she bought it that it functions as a set of scales and a BMI monitor.
So - am I a health fascist and a worry wart to think that it's betrayal for a parent to allow their children to become really overweight without at least trying to do something about it. I do feel incredibly sorry for these lovely kids, who have been teased at school about their weight.
Wanted to add - there was an article in the paper the other day. Apparently 95% of parents of overweight and obese children don't recognise that their children are overweight or obese. How is this possible? I'm very conscious of how much weight my children are carrying. I don't weigh them, but it's easy to see if they've got a 'spare tyre' surely?