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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to put a sarcastic note to my neighbour, in with the money for my avon order?

43 replies

onthepier · 15/08/2008 23:05

A few days ago there was a message on our answerphone from the lady across the road, (an agent from avon), saying my order was ready to be picked up.

I popped round the following morning, saying I hoped she didn't mind me being early but myself + dh were going to a nearby city for the day, (early start). By coincidence she said she was going as well.

Anyway, myself + dh were walking along to the bus stop, (we don't drive), when she pulled up in her car + offered a lift. We got in out of politeness really, would have preferred to make our own way.

The whole journey she was questionning us about being non drivers, why don't we drive, what about your children, don't they miss out, etc? She was very rude in our opinion, with lots of tutting + eye rolling when we answered.

The fact is that dh + I both have good jobs, neither of us has taken to driving, (dh actually passed his test years ago though). We could afford a car but instead use that money to pay for transport as + when we need it, trains, buses, taxis etc. Have been doing this for over 12 years now since we married, + it's suited us fine!

We've positioned ourselves centrally + even when we go on holiday we taxi to the airport, so we're certainly not expecting to be ferried around by anyone! The dc's enjoy all the modes of transport we use + certainly don't miss out!

I owe her money for the avon order, AIBU to enclose a note saying we're happy with our lifestyle thanks very much, + would prefer it if she didn't quiz + criticise us again? My dh is also furious and wants no dealings with her, but I feel I can't just let this go!

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 15/08/2008 23:06

Yes, YABU.

Just let it lie and don't buy from her anymore.

MatNanPlus · 15/08/2008 23:07

I would just ignore the crass opinions she expressed, pay for the Avon and should another grilling lift be offered just say NO

Mamazon · 15/08/2008 23:07

I would leave it be but would not accept a lift again....nor woudl i order from her avon.

themoon66 · 15/08/2008 23:08

YABU... she was probably just making conversation, poor woman. Why not just say 'thanks for the lift' and leave it at that?

unknownrebelbang · 15/08/2008 23:09

YABU.

You're happy with your choices, why be bothered what someone else thinks?

Let it go, pay up and don't bother ordering again if it still irks when the next book arrives.

Ashantai · 15/08/2008 23:10

Yeah leave it be, life is too short to make her a neighbour from hell, believe me, i know!

lilymolly · 15/08/2008 23:11

FFS she was being kind

sounds like was being curious

why would you want to write a note thats just mean

ilovemydog · 15/08/2008 23:12

just be gracious and don't lower yourself to her standards. Just say, 'thanks for the ride...'

glasgowgal · 15/08/2008 23:12

Yes, YABU.

Please don't do it. Tension between neighbours is never good. You will regret it.

JamieJay · 15/08/2008 23:13

YANBU to be annoyed about the cross examination - she sounds a bit of a judgemental bint IMHO.

I'd like to say YANBU about putting a sarky note in, but have to ask what would it gain other than further aggro so going to have to go with YABU on that one.

Pay the money, get your order, have nothing more to do with her and go about your life knowing you are happy with your lot

twinsetandpearls · 15/08/2008 23:44

You are being very unreasonable and a bit odd.

mumasaurus · 15/08/2008 23:48

No don't write a note. Never do that sort of thing,do it to the face or not at all.

expatinscotland · 15/08/2008 23:50

i wish someone sold Avon around here.

i'm desperate for some of that Dreamlife perfume - but need the shower gel to go with it. 2 shower gels to one perfume.

Kif · 15/08/2008 23:51

I think you're over-reacting because you dh was upset, so now you're double upset: once for yourself, and once because he's upset.

let it go. in particular - don't write or say anything n the heat of the moment.

Kewcumber · 15/08/2008 23:54

no dpn;t write a note - if she thinks she was just making conversation (one persons eye roll is another persons facial tick!) then an agressice note saying "please don't speak to us again" will convince her you're barking mad. If she thought that before (because you don't drive) then she'll be convinced after reading it.

Do what normal people do when they don't like their neighbours - smile and wave from a distance. Writing sarcastic (your example didn't sound sarcastic by the way just defensive) notes is a bit mad.

Kewcumber · 15/08/2008 23:55

can't you get it online Expat?

thumbwitch · 15/08/2008 23:57

let it go, it's not worth it. Pay for your Avon stuff but don't encourage her to come back and leave it at that - if she comes knocking again tell her that you don't need any more stuff.

expatinscotland · 15/08/2008 23:57

I could, but it would be nice to patronise someone local. I'm a sucker for supporting locals.

crazymummy84 · 16/08/2008 12:22

YANBU, but as she lives so close it wouldn't be worth the trouble. It's her loss as you wont be buying from her again (I hope)

JumpingDizzy · 16/08/2008 12:25

how old are you? YABU let it go.

MrsMattie · 16/08/2008 12:27

YABU. Forget it. If you're happy with your lifestyle, don't worry about what anyone else thinks or says.

squeaver · 16/08/2008 12:44

Rise above it.

PotPourri · 16/08/2008 12:46

It's none of her business. But putting a note in it makes it her business. Ignore her, pay for your order adn never speak to her again
(or order ~Avon stuff).

bergentulip · 16/08/2008 12:50

You sound a bit petty, and over-sensitive.

She sounds like she was just intrigued and expressing friendly nosiness. It is fascinating when someone lives a certain way you yourself could not imagine.
Even with tutting and eyerolling, that does not necessarily have to mean she was purposefully trying to be rude.

YABU. Grow up.

JonahTakalua · 16/08/2008 12:52

YABU.
I think you and your DH need to toughen up a bit.
A kind, but rather nosy, neighbour passes comment, and you both become furious - I think you may have lost your sense of proportion slightly.
A note to this woman would further an issue that does not need furthering - and make you look odd.