To be angry at MIL.............

[jellybelly2007]

For saying, 'we'll see' when DS1 rang her to invite her to his birthday tea next tuesday as...............she has a bad leg?

Fair enough, she did have polio as a child, and needs an orthapedic shoe and caliper, but FFS, she only has to walk to the car in her driveway, then down our path (aided with stick and FIL) to get here. (FIL drives)

Its not like I'm asking her to join in the bloody conga!

Also, would I BU if I said, 'fair enough, dont come, but you wont be invited to DS2s 1st birthday next month?

All DS1 wants for his birthday tea, is his family to come and have some sarnies and cake.
BTW he will be 11.

You could have just said AIBU to be angry at MIL and left it at that and I've had said no. You're not.

Can you tell how much I love mine??!!

i'd prob be angry at her too.. if it was mines, shes done sooooo much over the years, she doesn't need to do too much to annoy me now.

I think We'll see is an awful thing to say to a child. It should be more I'll try because I'm not very well, or hopefully. Not We'll see

I don't think "We'll see" is a bad thing to say to a child.

My 10yo and 11yo would interpret it as 'probably not but maybe'. Or at least that's what they tell me that's what they think I mean when I say it. My other children agree with them.

Juuule, yes I suppose I am a bit antagonistic towards her, as I'm getting sick of being the one to do all the running.
She regularly stops speaking to us if we dont phone on time or visit often enough, and its ALWAYS me that goads DH into making up with her.
Its always me that rings, not DH.
As for how DS1 feels about her, she did this so much to him, that when he was 4 or 5 he asked me, 'mammy, why dont grandma and grandad love me anymore?' (I replied that of course they did, it was mam and dad they werent happy with), so, no I dont try and poison his mind, and I try to encourage relations with them, as I grew up with no GPs, and think its important.

DH is bit sick of her TBH, when I told him she may not be coming he was shocked, as he knows what her limitations are, and knows she will be able to get to the car no problem.

Beanieb- no, I actually wont snigger inside on DS2 bday, and as for the matter of DS2 really wanting her there, um, he's turning 1! I honestly dont think he'll give a shit.

3andnomore- yes, basically, because babies dont talk back with their own opinions.
She loves kids between the ages of 0-walking, after that, seems she loses interest a bit.

If you think you've done more than your fair share of the running, then maybe you need to put a bit of space between you and your mil. Leave it to your dh to do any inviting. If she doesn't want to take part then just get on with things without her. Maybe leave any communication with his parents to him for a while.

It's not good for you or your family for you to feel all the resentment that seems to be coming through in your posts. And while you might be saying all the right things to your ds, it's highly likely that he's going to pick up on the bad-feeling that you have towards his gran.

Well DH is going up there today to see what the situation is, but his feeling is that even if she was 10 times worse on DS2 1st bday, she would move heaven and earth to be here, but that she cant really be arsed to make the effort for DS1.

I hope he's wrong, as it would be awful for DS1 to be pushed out in favour of his brother yet again.