Been married 9 years today>>>>>>>>DH has forgot

[windyweather]

Got up today as if it was another day. Sorted dd/ds out as usual.
Not given him card yet, its in the car stil un wrritten (may even take it back for a refund).
I am not going to say anthing at all, he usually pops into his brothers on Wed night and was going to text about 10pm and say Happy Anniversary.
He is rubbish at dates stuff like this but why should I remind him.
Don't know whether to be or

We will have our 9 year ANN next month, and I expect DH will forget (even though we married on 9/9/99 to help him remember!!!).

One year he forgot my birthday, ALL DAY. He didn't remember until he got back from work at 6pm and saw I had cards from other people I was so upset

I forgot our 8th anniversay. DH sulked. Even when I bought him a bottle of 8yr old malt to make up for it . It wasn't deliberate - I jsut had a lot of other stuff to deal with at the time. Didn't mean he didn't matter or I didn't love him. Haven't forgotten since

Personally I find it a total pita. I'd rather wait till we reach 20yrs and have a f* off big party.

If your relationship is otherwise OK, you have to relax. Some men are just a bit pants at remembering things.

DH forgot our anniversary this year (three years). When I reminded him he looked horrified and dashed into the front room, where he hurriedly cobbled together a card from an old birthday card! (poor sod).

I've never understood the thing where couples fall out over forgetting a birthday or anniversary. Why make it a big test?

Me and DP talk about our anniversary etc for weeks in advance, plan a night out together or etc. Why does it have to be a big hush hush thing and then one partner gets cross when the other forgets the date?

Maybe he is planning a surprise

You never know

We went to Lipari (an island north of Sicily). We're hoping to go back to the same place next year with the children. In fact dd was concieved on honeymoon.

Anyway, happy annversary to you!

I find it very odd that people care so much. I couldn't tell you either the day we got married, or how many years it is without looking it up. DH always remembers though, but I have come perilous close to forgetting several times. It doesn't mean I don't love him.

"Maybe he is planning a surprise

You never know "

worst thing you can say as it will only get the op's hopes up and make things infinitely worse for her husband.
as happened to me when i made it patently clear one year that i would not be giving or receiving any acknowledgments of the fact that it was valentines as i had done something for it the year before i felt it was only fair that my wishes to ignore it completely should be respected that year.and that i had plans with friends so would not even be seeing them on the day.

cue her being fine the whole day when i was on the phone to her etc only for tearful call that night as she thought i was just tryng to throw her off the scent of a suprise.

not good.
just assume he's forgotten.

I know DH is dreadful with these things, so I normally remind him.

personally, i'd be pee'd off & i'd sulk & be childish,but most men are rubbish at remembering dates,mine included.each Xmas, though, we get out the cards we gave each other the 1st xmas we were married!so i suppose we could do the same for wa.

Well I am glad I am not the only one who doesn't care about anniversaries. DH and I both remember and mention it but to me it seems contrived to give a card to each other (which will not be kept, will eventually go in the recycling). I like to think that on the big ones we will go out somewhere nice, but this should be a joint decision and organised together not some sort of big test from one person to the other where you get to contest who loves each other the most. We shall see, coming up to 5 years.

We always get a card from MIL (the same card every year) which I don't really like (but don't mention) as I think anniversaries are personal.

Just my thoughts though.

i remind my dh aout these dates - i dont sit there with a little violin playing miself a sad sad tune razor blade in hand watching casablaca and wishing for a man who would remember

a week before my birthday i say "ITS MY BIRTHDAY NET WEEK"
AND REPEAT EVERY DAY UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY

a card is sufficient on anniverseries - although the pair of us ahve forgot in the past. but if you want one you should say " its our anniversary next week, ooohhh i hope you have created something wonderful as a surprise"

And valentines, yuck! Perfectly allowable to ignore the whole shenanigans!

LOL at the razors

I have to agree with Custardo

The best thing to do in a situation like this is say 'hey! it's our anniversary. shall we go out for a nice tea?'

I'm with armadillo here! My DH and I have just, erm, celebrated our 2nd wedding anniversary. We both forgot completely and I only realised when his mum pointed it out.

We both forgot last year too.

But we tell each other we love each other all the time, and are still in that first bit of marriage where it's all cuddles and kisses (sorry vomtastic I know).

We also bring up our wedding day occasionally and say how special it was [double-vom].

So really why is one day so important if you are celebrating being together every day anyway [suffocates in pool of vom].

If he has always remembered in the past with no prompting and done something spectular, then maybe you have a point. Otherwise I would say don't worry about it.

He has always needed prompting i n the past about dates.
He has gone to the pub to watch the match .
Yes he is lovely great dad, bit of a moan as they all are.
If you havent actually been married then you dont know what its really feel likes to not have an Anniversary card. don't you think!

Obviously this is down to opinion and mine is its my Wedding Anniversary today and he forgot and yes its upseting. I don't ask for much I don't expect to be wisked away or dinned just a card.

Never mind I'm the one sat home alone with dc's in bed, I was just asking for a bit of sympathy really noting. slattering.

Perhaps he's thinking that you forgot, since you haven't mentioned it or given him a card, and wondering whether to send you a text from the pub at about 10 to make you feel guilty?

I've got to say, I agree with others...you have no right to complain as you haven't acknowleged the day either.
If it was your birthday, then fine, but it's his anniversary too, and you haven't given him a card or anything.
How do you know he's not sitting at his brother's complaining that you've forgetten!

"If you havent actually been married then you dont know what its really feel likes to not have an Anniversary card. don't you think!"

I am married and have just realised I never recieved any anniversary card this year Like you, I never bothered giving my DH a card either, or arranging a night out to celebrate, I never even cooked him a special meal... Has the poor man been feeling sorry for himself ever since? Seems unlikely, if he wanted me to organise something he would have PROMPTED me to do so.

I could not cope with being married to someone like you, who played these mind games.

"Never mind I'm the one sat home alone with dc's in bed, I was just asking for a bit of sympathy really noting. slattering"

yes but as countless other have pointed out you have had ample opportunity to change this by giving him a simple reminder.
but instead you want to be the martyr so you have done nothing about it, you haven't acknowledged his anniversary with a card either, and you have quite happilly let him go off just so you could achieve this scenario of self pitying put upon victim.

Upwind like wise.

Mayor, if you read my previous post you will note I did mention last week.

I didn't write thread to trash my husband, can I not be upset and have a few nice words instead of being called fit to burn.