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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that parents who only have daughters get unreasonably attached to the husbands/partners of their daughters?

45 replies

Chandra · 11/08/2008 23:15

Just a thought... sometimes I think that ExH is the son my mother never had, worse than that actually, her favourite child!

Now I can laugh about it but any of you who only have sisters and no brothers see the same trend in their parents?

OP posts:
VirginiaWoolf · 11/08/2008 23:22

Hmm, my Mum has been known to tell DH how lucky I am to be with him (in fact, many many years ago during an argument with my mum she said that she didn't know what he saw in me anyway!!!) and she used to refer to him as 'our lad'...... She tries to tone it down a bit now, as she doesn't have a close relationship with my Dsis's DH. Ooooh, and my Dad is a lovely, mild, rather prudish man - who delights in sharing rather dodgy rude jokes/comments with DH! All a bit odd - DH is politely bamboozled by it all.

S1ur · 11/08/2008 23:23

My mum had (almost) only daughters - four of them but also a son in there too.

She has managed to deride and despise all our potential partners and so would buck the theory!

jimjamshaslefttheyurt · 11/08/2008 23:23

I have no brothers or sisters, but no my Mum isn't really like this. She likes dh though, but raises her eyes frequently and tells me how to nag him.

KatieDD · 11/08/2008 23:24

Hmmm I will not be like that at all, tbh I'm dreading if any of my girls have a son themselves I won't know what to do with him.
I think my Mum prefers my husband to her own sons though.

VirginiaWoolf · 11/08/2008 23:26

I think my Mum is completely in awe of DH because he is a man and yet he does nappies and gets up in the night with poorly children, cooks well etc etc.... I put it down to a generational thing - although lovely, my Dad did none of the above and to this day wouldn't know how to work the washing machine. But that was way back. I wouldn't have married a man like that!

SalBySea · 11/08/2008 23:28

my nan (on mums side) had mostly girls and thought that my dad could do no wrong - always took his side against my mum (her daughter!)

My mum who has no sons prob gets on better with my HTB than with me

unknownrebelbang · 11/08/2008 23:28

The mother of one of my friends, an only daughter, thinks the son shines out of her DH's proverbial, and lets us all know.

Having said that, a friend who married (and since divorced) one of three boys, is still extremely close to her exmil - the daughter she never had.

Original poster
Chandra · 11/08/2008 23:30

My father has spent a life time complaining of people asking when they would try again for a boy as if girls where not good enough. But give him a son in law and gosh! At some point I though I had become the daughter in law and exH had took my place.

ie. My father and I used to have loooooong conversations about life, philosophy and what the heck to do with the next step in my career, life, finances, etc. He never told me what to do but suggested what would happen for each of the options presented... I got married and the answer to every question was "and what does H think?" and refused to give any further comment, now if then H asked the same he would have the looooong conversation with him that previously had with me

OP posts:
LittleBella · 11/08/2008 23:34

I just had to interrupt this thread to congratulate VirginiaWoolf on her name.

Waytogogirl!

As you were...

gastronaught · 12/08/2008 00:08

dh lived with his nanna for a while, she had 3 boys and 2 grandsons, she also had 2 granddaughters. She activley disliked all of her daughters in law, all of her grandaughters, all of her grandaughters in law and her 2 great grandaughters. She only liked boys, dh being her favourite, and even he was upsurped by ds, which was a very uncofortable thing to watch.
My parents on the other hand only have 2 daughters, both of my parents tolerate my sisters husband, my mam tolerates dh, my dad calls him 'MY SON'. Dh must have golden balls.

VirginiaWoolf · 12/08/2008 00:10

LittleBella - why, thank you!
[wanders off in stream of consciousness emoticon]

nooka · 12/08/2008 00:16

My mother loves my brother best, but thinks all our partners aren't good enough and/or are difficult. My dh's mum (who died before we got married) thought I was fantastic (not sure why!) and doted on his sister's husband (a boyfriend from childhood). His other sister's husband was treated well whilst they were married and then vilified once they were apart.

mrswoolf · 12/08/2008 00:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gastronaught · 12/08/2008 00:23

My Nanna on the other hand thought all of her daughters were dominated by their husbands and all of her sons were dominated by their wives, when in actual fact it was the other way around ... she taught them well!!

chipmonkey · 12/08/2008 00:46

I thought this thread had been started by PinckChampagne! Her parents take adoration of her exh to extremes even after they have split!

Original poster
Chandra · 12/08/2008 00:51

Yes Pink Champagne was in my mind when I started this thread, wondering how the situation is for her at the moment.

My parents are finally starting to see the good points of me after all... but it has taken some time and a divorce!

OP posts:
chipmonkey · 12/08/2008 01:00

I do think some fathers have a secret hankering after a son. Can't blame them, I have 4 boys and have a hankering after a daughter which sadly doesn't look likely! But I don't honestly think I will look on my DILs as substitute daughters, I will hopefully be civil to them and not too interfering but I can't imagine preferring them to my ds's.

ninedragons · 12/08/2008 04:09

I have brothers, but yes, my parents think the sun shines out of DH's bum.

Bonifacio · 12/08/2008 05:14

My parents only have 2 girls and they adore my sisters DH and my DP. My mum is arriving for a visit tonight and DP is bracing himself for the torrent of affection that comes his way! He tollerates it well bless him!

Tittybangbang · 12/08/2008 06:50

Sister's partner is boozing, battering, chain smoking bankrupt. Brother's partner is vicious, bullying bitch. The bar was set so low that my DH could hardly fail to please! Mum and dad like him very much.

wb · 12/08/2008 09:46

My parents adore my dh "Thank you so much for marrying our daughter, she can be very difficult" (Damn right )

But they have a son too (also v. difficult) so I don't think your theory is entirely correct.

mm22bys · 12/08/2008 09:52

I have one sister, and so our DHs are like the sons they never had. Not that they ever gave us any inkling that they would have preferred boys.

I would think too the reverse would apply to parents who only have sons. And how does the saying go, a daughter is a daughter for ever but a son is only a son till he gets married...

chipmonkey · 12/08/2008 12:38

"A daughter is a daughter for the rest of her life
A son is a son till he gets him a wife"

harpomarx · 12/08/2008 12:40

It also works the other way. Ex mil had 3 boys. She adores me.

however, in her case, it is entirely reasonable

Tortington · 12/08/2008 12:41

i am an only child, my mother didn't care much for dh - perhaps i am the exception to the rule and either

a) my mum was particular
b) dh isn't likeable