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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that parents who only have daughters get unreasonably attached to the husbands/partners of their daughters?

45 replies

Chandra · 11/08/2008 23:15

Just a thought... sometimes I think that ExH is the son my mother never had, worse than that actually, her favourite child!

Now I can laugh about it but any of you who only have sisters and no brothers see the same trend in their parents?

OP posts:
citronella · 12/08/2008 12:46

Oh no not here. In fact more like harpomarx - the other way round.

BouncingTurtle · 12/08/2008 12:57

I have 2 brothers and no sisters, but mum thinks the world of DH - I think she likes him better than my brothers - probably because he is an all round nice guy and fantastic dad, where is my brothers are a pair of bigotted little shits.

mm22bys · 12/08/2008 16:54

I know Chipmonkey, terrible! That's what MIL told me when DS1 was all of 8 months old, and how he would end up breaking my heart....I know she had a Bad Relationship with her MIL, but really, it's not what I wanted to hear! She also told me that I "need" to have a DD....

FioFio · 12/08/2008 16:56

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Anna8888 · 12/08/2008 16:58

I know what you mean.

My mother got totally overattached to one of my former boyfriends. We were at University, his parents lived on another continent so he used to come home with me for holidays. My mother adored him. I don't think it did that relationship any good at all - she came between us.

hatwoman · 12/08/2008 17:04

I know one woman with one son who is still in touch with his ex girlfriends. she alwasy made a point of befriending them and the friendsip outlasted the relationship iyswim

Original poster
Chandra · 12/08/2008 17:47

Yes, I'm familiar with the idea, my mother was still receiving flowers on Mother's day from one of my ex boyfirends even when we had ended the relationship years before...

I find it a bit hilarious, although obviously I didn't at the times that I ended up a relationship and they didn't bother to ask questions, they just blamed everything on me

OP posts:
notcitrus · 12/08/2008 17:47

Not my mum - she was convinced MrNC was never going to finish his doctorate, never get a proper job, and would imminently dump me, for years. She had to shut up about the first two about 12 years ago, but after 14 years still thinks he's going to ditch me...

His mum, in contrast, thinks I'm absolutely wonderful - she's rather nice too.

mm22bys · 12/08/2008 17:51

FF, my BIL (DHs brother) is the brother I never had!

southeastastra · 12/08/2008 17:54

don't think my mum (had 4 girls) was really, though i remember one occasion where i couldn't have a bacon sandwich as she was saving it for bil

Jux · 12/08/2008 18:02

The sun shines out of dh's arse according to my mum; but I have two fantastic brothers too. Perhaps it's just that mums are so relieved that someone (anyone?!) has married their daughter...?

Original poster
Chandra · 12/08/2008 18:33

Jux... I think you have hit the nail on the head there!

OP posts:
HeadFairy · 12/08/2008 18:35

Not my mum, she barely remembers dh's name. But she's a bit away with the fairies. I don't think she misses not having a son. I have a feeling though that when ds grows up and marries I'll become very attached to his girlfriend/wife if I don't have any daughters.

TheArmadillo · 12/08/2008 18:36

my mum hates my dp (she has two girls).

It's not anything he's done, it's just cos he's my dp. BUt then she doesn't like me much either.

But then she doesn't really class as normal.

Peachy · 12/08/2008 18:46

I am one of 3 girls

they pretend to like one bil but don't (he's a control freak), not sure if they really like dh or pretend to though as a result- but they adore my other bil, Dad is often out with him and they see more of him than me

clumsymum · 12/08/2008 18:54

OOh no.

My father was very jealous, and hated both sons in law. In his eyes they would never amount to anything, and didn't deserve my / my sisters affection.

Now he's gone, and my mother gets older, it seems she isn't bothered about them either. My sis' dh is seen as a waste of space, except when he's doing mum's garden for her. When we're planning a visit, mother usually says "Oh, I am looking forward to seeing you and ds (long pause here) and dh of course".

trefusis · 12/08/2008 18:56

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FioFio · 13/08/2008 08:34

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babyignoramus · 13/08/2008 08:41

Out of me, my sister, her DP and my DH, DH is definitely the favourite child! We've all agreed on this. To the point where when sister's DP chipped my mum's table, my DH said 'don't worry, I'll tell her it was me!' It doesn't bother us, we just rib DH about it. He loves it though!

bozza · 13/08/2008 08:42

Well I am one of 3 girls and I have never noticed this attitude towards DH or my BIL from my parents. My ILs seem a bit like that about DH's sister's husband though, although occasionally they do complain about him not looking after SIL well enough in certain situations. I get on with them well enough but they are not like this with me. I think it may be because DH and I seem to give the impression of being more self-sufficient.

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