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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that perhaps this woman shouldn't be shouting at toddlers every day?

32 replies

Thisismynewname · 30/07/2008 15:50

Have been spending a lot of time in the garden recently and the house that backs onto mine is owned by a relatively new couple who moved in about 6 months ago.

I've felt really sorry for her a few times as it's obvious she's having a really hard time with her toddlers - lots of shouting at the top of her voice about how she has "had it up to here" and "don't you dare throw that on the floor".

Sometimes it's sounded a bit OTT but I know that some people just shout a lot, and as I've learned from MN you don't know what kind of stress people are under etc etc.

Anyhoo - I just found out today from my friend that this woman is actually a childminder. She doesn't have any kids of her own so the toddlers I've heard her screaming at on a regular basis are those that she is being paid to look after.

This is a bit off, isn't it? Genuinely wondered what others thought, it certainly happens on a daily basis.

OP posts:
davidtennantsmistress · 30/07/2008 15:51

personally I think it's off yes. if it's what she's paid to do - then again even CM's have an off day!

MrsFluffleHasAWuffle · 30/07/2008 15:51

I know we all have bad days and do shout a bit on occasion, but to be doing that when she is being paid to look after those toddlers - well I wouldn't be very happy. Not exactly professional is it?

Can you get in touch with the CIS and pass on a comment?

MrsFluffleHasAWuffle · 30/07/2008 15:51

I know we all have bad days and do shout a bit on occasion, but to be doing that when she is being paid to look after those toddlers - well I wouldn't be very happy. Not exactly professional is it?

Can you get in touch with the CIS and pass on a comment?

MrsFluffleHasAWuffle · 30/07/2008 15:52

oops

jammi · 30/07/2008 15:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

MatNanPlus · 30/07/2008 15:53

That is very off IMO.

Poor children sounds like they are doing regular toddler stuff and she wants a couple of non moving, non noisemaking dolls

WheresTheAuPair · 30/07/2008 15:53

makes you wonder why she does it then? tbh most people i know are childminders because they have their own kids.
My neighbour (not a CM) has 2 under 4 and i cringe when she shouts/screams at them on a daily basis and calls them the 'c word' among other choice language.

davidtennantsmistress · 30/07/2008 15:55

the c word. I hate it when an adult uses that word.

MatNanPlus · 30/07/2008 15:56

hate hearing the c word, f word and most especially the s word.

muggglewump · 30/07/2008 15:56

Crikey, she sounds like me if I was a childminder.
I'm not simply because I would do that and it's not remotely fair on the children or parents who would be leaving their kids with me.
Why be a childminder if you have no patience?

WheresTheAuPair · 30/07/2008 15:59

i know- its such an aggressive word to use. Sadly it seems to be catching round here as i heard my other neighbour scream it at her 2 yr old this morning as she strapping her in the car seat

makes me more determined to mind my own language

ChopsTheDuck · 30/07/2008 16:00

nice. Can't you report her to ofstead or somebody?
I'd be really unhappy if someone I paid to care for my children was shouting at them. I can shout when I've had a bad day, but they are my children, and I have them 24/7. I wouldn't expect someone who was a paid childcarer to shout at them! I think that my children would find that really upsetting too, from a carer.

ChopsTheDuck · 30/07/2008 16:00

nice. Can't you report her to ofstead or somebody?
I'd be really unhappy if someone I paid to care for my children was shouting at them. I can shout when I've had a bad day, but they are my children, and I have them 24/7. I wouldn't expect someone who was a paid childcarer to shout at them! I think that my children would find that really upsetting too, from a carer.

snickersnack · 30/07/2008 16:01

Seriously? People actually call their children that?

WheresTheAuPair · 30/07/2008 16:07

sadly yes. I quote "i've f*cking had enough of you little cts today- shut the f*k up"

davidtennantsmistress · 30/07/2008 16:09

i'd report her tbh, if my child was being looked after by someone using that language i'd be v v annoyed.

Sunshinetoast · 30/07/2008 16:11

I would seriously report her to ofsted. Information about how to complain is here

Lukesmammy · 30/07/2008 16:12

That is absolutely disgusting. Poor little things having to be spoken to like that, it makes me so .

I agree with ChopsTheDuck, my DS would be terrified being spoken to like that.

Thisismynewname · 30/07/2008 16:14

Wow, ok, thanks.

I genuinely didn't know if I was being a bit judgey about it. I know some people just communicate like that - I remember after all that Big Brother stuff kicked off and Jade Goody was really shocked at how people saw her behaviour (the shouting, not the race stuff) as she said she had always been brought up to scream at the top of her voice or shout down anyone who annoyed her.

I gues if you are a paid childcarer though you really should have better communication skills than that.

OP posts:
davidtennantsmistress · 30/07/2008 16:19

shouting down someone who annoys you is just plain rude - and amounts to bullying, this woman is doing the same with the kids - they're children, and can't defend theirselves.

if you're unsure - post this again in the CM section on here and see what the CM's views are - would bet my bottom dollar thou (from knowing several where i used to live) none would talk to their mindees like this.

Lukesmammy · 30/07/2008 16:24

Good idea davidtennantsmistress, I reckon they would be just as outraged.

Even childminders will have days when the noise etc must get on their nerves but it is absolutely unacceptable for her to speak to them in that way.

Can you imagine how the parents would feel if they knew their precious DC's wre being spoken to like that by somebody they obviously trust?

You definitely aren't being judgey at all.

nailpolish · 30/07/2008 16:25

if you cant see her, you can only hear her shouting, then i wonder what else she is doing

the poor things must dread going to her house

Flier · 30/07/2008 16:27

poor wee tots. I really think you should report her. can you do so anonomously?

TheCrackFox · 30/07/2008 17:08

You must report this woman. I feel sorry for the children and their parents.

kormachameleon · 30/07/2008 17:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.