....to be absolutrely APOPLECTIC with rage at my bitchy neighbour?

[SheikYerbouti]

I was just in a the garden getting in my washing and I heard one of my neighbours talking to another. This neighbour in question is a childminder and is always very friendly.

Anyway, as I was getting in my washing, I heard her say "Oh, I'd never touch Sheiky's kids. They are really bloody naughty, they never behave themselves and they fidget and fight constantly. They are out of control." I also heard he say "AND she takes the pushchair through the house" LIKE IT'S A FUCKING CRIME.

I just coughed a bit to let them know I could hear every fucking bitchy word she was saying. I really wanted to kick off, but my kids were there. I wanted to grab the bitch by the throat and call her a fucking wart ridden harridan, but then I'd be accused of being unhinged as well.

Folk can say what thery fuck they like about me, but NOT MY KIDS. How fucking dare she? Yes, my children are a gbit feral sometimes, byt they are normal boys of 23 months and 3.7. They are not out of control. Show me a child of that age who never plays up, and I will run to Basingstoke with njo clothes on.

I'M FUCKING LIVID.

What an utterly nasty woman!!

Show me 2 toddler boys who don't fidget and fight! And who aren't a little feral too (I kinda like em like that )

Gawd she'd hate living next door to me today. Both boys (5 and 3) are outside playing in the big paddling pool, shouting, and screaming with laughter...going wild tbh. Oh and DS3 is naked

I sound like a fishwife most days as I have boys with selective hearing

I'm glad you let her know you heard her...she will be shaking in her boots

I wouldn't leave my children with her!!

Oh and your boys are gorgeous!

Sheik, at least get drunk if you're going to go round there. Did it suddenly start raining really heavily in Bath about an hour ago? It's been thundering here.

I had no idea you were the sort that takes their pushchair through the house. Shows how wrong you can be about people.

Yes, it pissed it down, hence the reason why I was out getting in my washing

Laz, do you want to come round and help me duff her up

snigger at Kew

Yes, I am off Anthea's Christmas list now. We were on shaky ground when she found out I don;t keep my shoes in boxes, but that's it for me and her now

Sheik, it would be my pleasure. But you know, we aren't heartless thugs. We'll shake her hand after we've roughed her up.

I've got bad PMT so it shouldn't be a problem.

l. I am apoplectic and I hav't got PMT. I'm fuckiung homocidal when I have

sheiky i know what you mean about boys its a boy thing they are lively they are mischievous but they are fantastic ive heard people say ahhh poor old windy shes got 3 to put up with and i think i fuckin love my boys its not putting up its fab and if you got half the love my boys give me youd mind your own business!!

the thing with some people that work with little children is that their world can become v egocentric they are big people in a little persons world so their behaviour gets petty and childish.

id hve coughed loudly and said dont worry i wouldnt ask you to childmind my boys cos youre not relly up to it professionally speaking are you??? then laugh like a maniac.

you serious about running naked???

silly bitch

Widy, I get comments like that...'Ooh 3 boys, that must be hard work' Er nope, it's fantastic! And they too are sooooo loving and I adore them muchly

She is stupid, ignorant and ridiculous ! I would leave it a bit, and have a word with her , when you know exactly what your going to say.

Something similar happened to me ! Someone in my old NCT group , came to my daughters 1st birthday party a few months back , and told a few lies about my daughter. I never forgot it and confronted her when she was shopping, not so long ago. I kept it short but sweet and was really really calm.

Initially I felt exactly the same way as you do now ..... really fecking angry , but over time
it lessened.

Work out what your going to say . Remember to keep it short and walk away.

Good luck

PS I bring my pram through the house.

Mine can be a right handful in public. When they know everyones looking they have a field day. The other day we were at the garden center and ds2 decided to get naked in the cafe in front of all the pensioners. He was just about to pull his trousers down when I stopped him. Then he started shouting so I had to take him to the toilets. Luckily my mum was with us so I could leave ds1 with her. I don't think I drank any of my coffee.

Shall I bring mine round to yours Sheik? They're roughly the same age. Your neighbour would love that.

Yes, Laz, we could do that, and we could drink wine and be loud and rally giver the bint something to gossip about

You know what i'd do now?

I'd go around there and ask her (in very serious tone) if she would be interested in minding my kids.

and watch her squirm

Sheik I HEART you - you have made me laugh out loud reading your profile!

Oh and your boys are lovely.

What is it with some people. Why are they so fucking insecure that they slag off other people's children. They are nuts.

Sit back and wait for her kids to go off the rails as teenagers.

gawd, the whole reason I started talking to my neighbour (who is now one of my greatest chums) is because her children were fighting...I had seen her leaving the house looking immaculate and organised with blonde angelic children and thought ''Ah. we've nowt in common''. The one evening she properly lost it with them when they were messing about really badly and I though ''hoorah! She's human and so are her boys'' We've never looked back....

If she is a childminder you could just drop in to conversations with people useing /likly to use her, that she is mad as a box of frogs and that she locks the kids in a cupboard in case they fidget, and pushchairs are from the devil himself

Hit where it hurts, hit low and be sneaky.

Just looked at your profile, your kids are way too cute to play up

You take the pushchair through the house????????????????

WTF does she expect you to do?

You have every reason to be LIVID. That is just so fucking weird!!!

FWIW, I also bring my pushchair into my house and am therefore also totally out of control in our neighbours eyes.

Message withdrawn

Ohhhhh cod if we are burnig Ex il lawa can I chuck some on!?
Pllleeeeeeaaaassssseeeeeeeeee

My children never play up and I think your neighbour was not aying anything out of order as yours do sound truely ferral.

which route will you be taking to Basingstoke?

[Only kidding by the way - my neighours complained about how much noise mine make in the garden and dh wanted to kill them - yours sound normal to me, but the challenge was so inviting!]

Can I add my bil as well?