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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

For looking forward to the time when ds is no longer a baby?

63 replies

peggotty · 20/07/2008 20:54

I have discovered that I really really don't enjoy the 'baby stage'. I didn't with dd who was an 'easy' baby, and so far the 1st six months of ds' life have left me a stressed out, physical and emotional wreck. I hate the obssessing about what he eats/how much he sleeps etc etc etc. I won't be having any more children so part of me thinks I should be attempting to enjoy his babyhood, but you know what, I just can't. I am looking forward to him being a toddler (yes, even tantrums etc), being able have a conversation with him, read him proper stories, watch him and dd play together (especially that part . Am I going to regret feeling this way?

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whatdayisit · 20/07/2008 20:56

No I don't think you'll regret it. I can barely remember my Ds's babyhood beyond the fact that it was really really hard. I could do without the 1st 12 months too.

AbbeyA · 20/07/2008 20:58

Don't wish it away-when you look back it is very short.

RhinestoneCowgirl · 20/07/2008 20:59

I foudn the first 12 months hard work, DS fairly sweet but not great company. He's 2 now and much more fun (albeit with the odd tanty thrown in).

I'm pg again and not really looking forward to the newborn bit...

eddiejo · 20/07/2008 21:00

Yes I think you will (sorry) Having just spent most of this am sorting out both my DSs clothes into ages etc - I long for that baby stage again!!!!!!

I do understand if they are difficult tho. My DS5 only slept thru two weeks before birth of DS2 and now that one rarely sleeps thru too !!!

I think it will have a lot to do with the amount of work that two children give you. Nobody warns you it's literally twice as much work!!

angel1976 · 20/07/2008 21:00

I hated every day of my DS's first 3 months (he's almost 5 months now). He cried every day and I was a complete wreck. I'm loving it now that he is more responsive and I worry less about SIDS etc BUT I am so looking forward to when he can sit up etc... If I have another baby, I can so see that I would be dying to get through the first few months again... So you are not alone in feeling that way. Added to that, my DH is not a 'baby baby' person and the first few months had been such a strain on our relationship too...

Original poster

peggotty · 20/07/2008 21:00

I know it's short - I remember that from dd being a baby (now 3) but tbh, the fact it is short is what keeps me going some days!

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Original poster

peggotty · 20/07/2008 21:03

It probably all boils down to whether you are a 'baby' person or not...

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Nappyzoneneedsanewname · 20/07/2008 21:03

My ds is always whiney - hes trying to talk and i cant wait till we can communicate a bit more properly instead of him throwing himself down when he just doesnt get the get it or i dont get the get it. I love him dearly but roll on when hes 3! 3 is ace!

21 months cute early rising monster is making me a wrinkly wreck.

motherinferior · 20/07/2008 21:06

No, sweetie, you're not. If it's too stressful to enjoy, it's too stressful - fwiw I still remember, with absolutely homicidal rage, the people who used to stop me and tell me sanctimoniously to 'enjoy it while it lasts' during the first incredibly tough months of DD1's life.

Tell you something, school age children are adorable. Mine are five and seven, and I love them passionately. And they wipe their own bottoms. .

eddiejo · 20/07/2008 21:08

3s are worse than 2s!!! They don't just have wobblys but are able to reason abit too and it escalates much more. Mine was the meister (?SP) reasoner and can now talk his way out of anything.

Original poster

peggotty · 20/07/2008 21:10

MI - babies are just one long endurance test for me. Also, hate that 'enjoy it while it lasts' crap, but I always smile and say 'oh yes I will' [hypocrite emoticon], instead of answering 'actually I can't bloody well wait til it's over'

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beansprout · 20/07/2008 21:12

Having a baby is a very hard and blardy relentless business. Ds2 is 6mo and extremely contented, smiley etc but it's such a round the clock business. Hormones keep me locked in but other than that, there's not a huge amount to recommend it.

motherinferior · 20/07/2008 21:12

I think everyone has a stage they find incredibly tough. I am really surprised by how much I am enjoying my lovely girls at the moment: genuine enjoyment, you can laugh and joke and that endless responsibility is so much lighter. We leave the house by, you know, bellowing WE'RE GOING NOW I SAID NOW COME ON NOW WE'RE GOING NOW!!!!!...and off we go. Very simple.

motherinferior · 20/07/2008 21:14

I remember, actually, when DD1 was about, oooh, seven weeks old. I was breastfeeding her in a baby-stuff shop, and this pregnant woman asked me how old my daughter was. I told her, and she looked at me dippily and said 'oooh, I suppose it goes so fast'...

...and I looked up at her, grey-faced with baggy exhaustion and said, with the sincerity that comes only from utter despair, 'No. This has been the slowest seven weeks of my life.'

beansprout · 20/07/2008 21:17

I remember someone telling me when ds1 was a week old that it gets better when they get to 6 weeks. They may have been talking to me about something that would happen when I was 70. I thought that time would never come!

Original poster

peggotty · 20/07/2008 21:17

I do find myself watching families with older children wistfully sometimes! Think today has been so bad because dh insisted that we all went for a walk then lunch at a country pub. Lovely, except ds whinged most of the walk in his backpack and then we had to gobble down our food while taking turns to jiggle ds about on our knees to stop his grizzle developing into a full blown wail. It was the sort of day that is suited to older children!

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DontCallMeBaby · 20/07/2008 21:18

Snap, MI - all those comments of 'I bet you can't believe she's a whole year old' around DD's first birthday. I can, I said, it's been the longest year of my life. Probably because I've spent so much more of it AWAKE than any preceding year.

Original poster

peggotty · 20/07/2008 21:21

Oh, all that 'it gets better at x months/weeks'. My hopes are raised at every one of these proclamations, only to be disappointed when he doesn't miraculously change! Actually, 6 months has been a distinct improvement.

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beansprout · 20/07/2008 21:21

madamez · 20/07/2008 21:24

Not unreasonable at all: everything depends on your individual baby, your lifestyles, the type of people you are etc. THink how much sadder it would be to only like the baby stage...

morningpaper · 20/07/2008 21:26

YANBU

I recall a mother in a park saying to me when I was pushing a nine month old baby "It goes so fast doesn't it?" and I said "Yes - thank fuck!"

Sorry but I found the baby stage so so hard and stressful. I LOVE toddlers, and I LOVE my 5 year old - they are SOOOOooo fabby and these are the years I am revelling in and enjoying a GREAT DEAL.

Caz10 · 20/07/2008 21:26

hi pegotty, i keep clicking on thread titles that i identify with and finding you have started them!!

still no sleep here either...6mths came and went without our improvement

dd is an adorable baby by day, but i am looking forward to when she is older too

motherinferior · 20/07/2008 21:32

Five year olds. I tell you, five year olds are where it's at. I could eat every one of DD2's five year old friends, they are so adorable.

noonki · 20/07/2008 21:33

I love the baby stage but my mum dislikes it immensely,

and though she tries so hard to hide it with each one of her grandchildren, we now all wait for her to go 'phew they can walk/speak/stop having heads a third of the size of their bodies... now lets have some fun' and out of nowhere she starts loving them to bits!!

Original poster

peggotty · 20/07/2008 21:33

Hi Caz! We must be living parallel lives! My ds still a nightmare to feed as well! Have to admit to a spot of cc in desperation, and although he does not sleep all night, it has improved his sleep no end. (i know it's not for everyone though)

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